It’s not your job to fix me. It’s your job to hold my hand while I fix myself.
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?
Put your arms around me tight, tell me everything’s okay
In my mind, I’m running round a cold and empty space
Just put your arms around me and hold my hand
24th October 2019
I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here a while with me
Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?
For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all my one?
For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I sometimes journey into the dark?
I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe you can mend my pain
But I would surely love it if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!
So will you…Hold my hand until I return again?
Beautiful words by: Zoe Johansen
if it’s meant to be, it will be.
you won’t have to force, convince, or worry over it.
let it flow, let it be, and let it come to you.
you’re attracting everything you need.
trust the timing of your life.
“Just forget about the “what ifs” and “buts”.
Spread your wings and fly.”
Why do we hold on to someone ?
Humans are biologically wired to become attached to what’s familiar.
Which is why we hold onto things even if they are bad for us.
How to move on?
She said she was okay and you believed her?
Let me tell you what’s really wrong with her.
She’s tired.
That’s exactly what she is, tired.
She’s tired of getting hurt, tired of being let down, she’s tired of all his lies, she’s tired of all her flaws and insecurities.
She’s tired.
Now she is not tired. She sleeps with purpose. She wakes with purpose
Agitated, stressed, pacing, out of my wits.
I need to let out some of that energy.
I need to do intense exercise.
I lace up and go for a run.
I go for a swim. I go to a yoga class. I punch a boxing bag. Every time I get the impulse to text, I put the phone down and get moving.
- Second… regulate breathing.
- Deep, deep slow inhales, slow, long exhales.
- Do it again. And again. 5-4-3-2-1
- Your own breath is going to save you.
- You have a life-saving mechanism within you at all times.
- Doesn’t that stun you with its beauty?
- Meditate.
- Find an app that teaches you how.
- My very favourite is BoHo Beautiful. There is a meditation course that I consider life-changing.
- I do not represent BoHo Beautiful in any way, or get compensated in any way to mention them.
- #3 attack all obsession and woowoo craziness and impulses and pain with a mega powerful anti-craziness nuclear device: gratitude.
- Morning routine …make a list every day of all the things I am grateful for in this person who had me obsessed.
- Thank you for the hard days, the tough times, the tears, the sadness and the illness.
- They opened my eyes to the good days, the happiness, the joy, the wellness I was taking for granted.
- Thank you for teaching me to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even jump puddles for me.
- Thank you for the wonderful lesson in my self esteem.
- There is always a skill or a life lesson that is gained.
- Practice non-attachment.
- Accepting what comes and allowing it to leave when it’s time.
- What’s for you will be for you effortlessly.
- Hurt people hurt people.
- An abused child grows up & finds an abusive person to love most of the time, until we break the cycle.
- I healed, let go and moved on without any anger, blame or regret.
- Finally, realized I was never asking for too much, I was just asking the wrong person.
- Phones have complicated our ability to be human.
- I asked myself – is this way that I am thinking?
- Are these decisions that I am making
- & are these actions that I am taking
- are they actually helping me to a achieve what I really want?
- We need to let go, because the past doesn’t exist any longer.
- Let’s live in the present where it matters.
- Make lists of positive aspects (daily)
- Be grateful to remove everything that doesn’t serve you.
- Make lists of things you love & never complain about anything.
- Never beg anyone to love you, that will never work.
- You need love & care.
- He has told you in many ways that he does not want you...the silence, the excuses, when he doesn’t share like he used to.
- He’s told you in 90 different ways.
- It has nothing to do with your value as a person.
- You can’t force anyone to love you.
- If he doesn’t have the courage to respectfully tell you, it’s going to hurt like hell but will be so much better in the long run.
- Rejection can be protection!!!
- You deserve to be treated as a queen.
“I am grateful for letting go of what didn’t serve me”
- Use these things that shine bright & make you feel good as your excuse to give your attention & be who you are & the whole world will begin to transform before your eyes.
- We have to stop lying to ourselves about the way certain people make us feel.
- We know when they aren’t really good for us.
- We know when things are different.
- We have to let what was be just that – what “was” – and focus on making every day in the present a gift towards our future.
- Making growth a priority to you will teach you who’s really for you.
- Remember, it is not your job to transform the world for others.
- The only job is to make the most of my life.
- It’s my job to transform it for me!!!
- Take away all the baggage.
- All the past is story.
- Write a list of what you find most attractive in partners. And then become it.
- I am lovable
- I deserve to be a good person
- Visualize what my life looks like – close my eyes & leave the bad relationship.
- See myself taking care of me.
- Being of service to others.
- Being proud of myself of how I handled the past few months.
- The silent battles I fought, the moments I had to humble myself, wiped my tears and patted myself on the back.
- Celebrate your strength.
Bringing others down will never lift you out of your own pit or solve your problem
Morgan richard olivier
Whatever you desire, you attract.
Whatever you expect, you get.
Whatever you imagine, you become.
- Only dead people don’t have expectations.
- As long as you are connected to the living, you have hope, things can change, so live every day of your life with great expectations.
- Today, increase your goals, dream bigger, fuel those desires, increase your expectations, stop settling for less.
“More than enough is my new standard”
- As far as you can see, you can have, as big as you think, you can become.
- It’s a great day to expect something great.
Every day, 5, 10, 15, 20 things I am grateful for.
I make them different every day.
I have slowly transformed my obsession and fury and anger into happiness & gratitude.
It changes everything.
Everything.
“No duty is more urgent than giving thanks.”
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
- And, the very last biggie.
- Compassion.
- Towards myself. I love you, Amia. I love you.
- I love you even when you become this person that would be easy for me to hate or feel ashamed of.
- I love you just the way you are, all your flight and excess, your ferocious, unreasonable heart and your ravenous desires.
- I love you.
- I love you and am terribly sorry for the role I played in putting you in this place of pain.
- Let’s get out of here.
- Let’s you and me go find a better way.
- Today is going to be the best day of my life!
There can be no compassion if there is no empathy, and one cannot empathize if he doesn’t know compassion.
It is not easy to bear someone else’s suffering or feel someone else’s heartbreak.
But with a heart of pure kindness, it is possible to feel empathy.
“Empathy is really the opposite of spiritual meanness.
It’s the capacity to understand that every war is both won and lost. And that someone else’s pain is as meaningful as your own.”
Barbara Kingsolver
The sun is bursting right out of the sky
I searched the whole world for someone like you
-Madonna
“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”
—Jackie Chan
“Was it hard?” I ask.
“Letting go?”
I nodded.
“Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.”
Be with someone who says…
“Let’s fix this.
I don’t want to lose you.”
NOTE TO SELF
I will not under value myself:
I will not allow others to under value me
because …
I AM WORTHY
You are worthy and don’t forget it!!!
Keep your head up and your feet under you.
You deserve everything you thought you had no business dreaming of.
There are far better things ahead.
“Trust only Movement.
Life happens at the level of events, not of words.
TRUST MOVEMENT.
Alfred Adler
– Evel Knievel
Your promises, they look like lies, your honesty’s like a back that hides a knife, I promise you I am finally free.
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