By Lynnie Stein / September 23, 2022

“Why am I choosing my partner today?”

Many dudes don’t realise that if they find the right woman and choose her and she feels safe and secure with him. She will open in the most incredible way.

Dear men, If you ever lose interest in me, please respect me enough to tell me. Don’t keep me in your life to gain confidence and energy from my affection, loyalty and genuine kindness. Let me go, so I can pour my time, patience and energy into someone who will value and respect me!

You don’t hate people for not choosing you

That’s your pain talking

You love people

You hate the fact that the genuine strength of your love has been manipulated, mishandled, or misunderstood

Makes you fearful to love & trust to that extent now

So, Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)

I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her. I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered’
  • I did want to be with this one.
  • I really wanted to choose her.
  • She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual.
  • She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and short-circuit my brain with her exotic beauty.
  • Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms was my happy place.
  • I loved her wildly.
  • Unfortunately, as happens with many couples, our ignorance of how to do love well quickly created stressful challenges in our relationship.
  • Before long, once my early morning blissful reverie gave way to the strained, immature ways of our everyday life together, I would often wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.

As the months passed and that thought reverberated more and more through my head, I chose her less and less.

Every day, for five years, I chose her a little less.

I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.

Choosing her would have meant focusing every day on the gifts she was bringing into my life that I could be grateful for:

her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship, and so … much … more.

Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace – or even see – what was so wildly wonderful about her.

  • I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me.
  • The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behaviour.
  • Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less.

Thus did our nasty death spiral play itself out over the 5 years.

She fought hard to make me choose her.

That’s a fool’s task.

To be fair, she didn’t fully choose me, either.

The rage-fuelled invective she often hurled at me was evidence enough of that.

  • I realize now, however, that she was often angry because she didn’t feel safe with me.
  • She felt me not choosing her every day, in my words and my actions, and she was afraid I would abandon her.

Actually, I did abandon her

By not fully choosing her every day, by focusing on what bothered me rather than what I adored about her, I deserted her.

  • Like a precious fragrant flower I brought proudly into my home but then failed to water
  • I left her alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat of our intimate relationship.

Rejection is just redirection

I’ll never not choose another woman I love again

I’ll never not choose another woman I love again.
 beautiful artwork is by the brilliant Robyn Chance Via The Book link below

It’s torture for everyone

If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question: 

“Why am I choosing my partner today?”

  • If you can’t find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one.
  • It could be as simple as noticing that in your deepest heart’s truth, “I just do.”
  • If you can’t find it today, ask yourself again tomorrow.
  • We all have disconnected days.
  • But if too many days go by and you just can’t connect with why you’re choosing your partner, and your relationship is rife with stress, let them go. However, do it with the respect she deserves, ghosting is a cowardly act.
  • Create the opening for another human being to show up and see them with fresh eyes and a yearning heart that will enthusiastically choose them every day.
  • Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen.
  • Every day. (We all deserve to be loved and felt special every single day).
  • You do, too.

Choose wisely.

People's true colours are showing
People’s true colours are showing

Don’t try to change what you see or make excuses

Accept what is being shown

The truth is surfacing

This is a time of making decisions, what behaviours can be forgiven and who needs to be released

WOW!!!! I really loved that and had to borrow so I can come back & see how far I have grown…

I NOW chose myself everyday

Because if I am not loving me.

I’m not really loving anyone to the fullest…

  • After not being chosen, I finally realized it would never change and I finally chose myself
  • I won’t ever be with someone again unless I am everything to him.
  • We must love ourselves enough to expect love and more from the ones we are with.
  • Learning to be alone and enjoy my own company was one of the most powerful things I ever did.

I still remember the moment I realized you weren’t my future anymore…

It’s one of the worst places in the world to be.

Where all the love and the care and the time and the connection are gone.

And the only thing left is this painful attachment to a stranger that you once shared your dreams with.

  • I enjoy being alone, a lot, but I am very social and outgoing. I used to not like being alone at all —this was when I was a stranger to myself. I am no longer a stranger to myself.
  • My environment dictates how I behave.
  • Sometimes I’m, loud, sometimes I’m quiet.
  • I read the energy and adjust.
  • There are times when I want to turn up and party hard and then there are moments where I want to read a great book, take a long walk by the sea with yoga, swing in my hammock under the stars, or process thoughts alone.
  • So even though I can be confusing. It’s a form of self preservation to balance my own energy needs.
  • The key is to find the right balance. It’s not always easy. My body and mind have been in “battery charge” mode for too long.
  • I am adjusting myself by not pleasing others and always Pause first and ask myself – what is the best outcome for me.
  • Being content with yourself is the best!
  • Do I want to hang out? Sure
  • Am I also happy to do my own thing?
  • Absolutely. It’s called being a human.
  • Solo time is soul time!!
  • Own It!!
  • Choose to live a peaceful life always.
  • It has taken me nearly a whole lifetime to understand just how important my peace is to me.
  • I am finally finding my place where I truly belong.
  • My tribe is small, my needs are simple and I know that I am worthy.
  • The chaos is still there, but I am learning to manage it.
  • I can’t control a lot of things, but I can control how I react to it.
  • I don’t live there anymore.
  • I don’t have to live to just keep the peace.
  • I can make my own choices, be my authentic self and share connections like I have never known.
  • I no longer have to prove myself to anyone.
  • I am who I am and I have finally realised, that is enough.

BREAKING NEWS: You need to hang out with people who fit with your future not your history.

Hey! Good luck today with whatever you have going on.

  • You got this & I hope something really freaking special happens to you today.
  • You deserve it.

A miracle is coming to me today

I am open to receive

I deserve it

JOIN MY VIP EMAIL LIST

No SPAM ever! Read the privacy policy

© 2022 Lynnie Stein