It gets tossed around like confetti to label exes and past flings, often as a way to dodge a personal reality check. But if we’re gonna play the toxic card, let’s dive into the life lessons these so-called toxic relationships bring to the party!

I am using it here NOT to describe abusive relationships, but those relationships that we look back on and wonder why we stayed so long! They have an element of good in them, but there are also things in them that we simply can not live with. And we end up staying too long because it is hard to give up the good stuff.

We have all been there!

Let me say that I do not want to be there again. Ever. In my life! A little daily reminder: All relationships are a risk and they might hurt you. But they are also the thing that an heal you. You were never meant to walk alone. Take a chance on someone new or start over with someone old. And if it’s hard, keep trying. You are worthy of love and friendship.

But we do learn some good things after healing from a toxic relationship. There are truly some gems we can come away with.

IF we take the time to process the relationship and what our own part in it was.

Getting out of a toxic relationship is not always easy, especially if you truly love the person. 

You may know you need to do it, but you might find yourself dragging your feet. 

In this case, give yourself grace. You will know when the time is right.

Once you’ve taken the plunge, the real work kicks in.

And oh boy, it’s a doozy!

It’s chaotic, it’s painful, and it doesn’t follow a neat little path.

Buckle up for the rollercoaster of ups and downs, and whatever you do, don’t slap a deadline on your feelings!

Trust me, I spent ages wondering, “When will this emotional storm pass?”

But that just keeps the storm brewing.

When the emotional waves hit, ride them and let them do their thing. Believe it or not, this is way healthier than playing hide-and-seek with your emotions or distracting yourself with shiny objects.

Dear friend, if life feels like a heavy backpack right now, here’s a little pep talk: you’ll wade through this!

Your heart will mend, and soon enough, you’ll be a magnet for healthier folks once you let healing and awareness seep into those parts of you that got tangled up in a toxic mess.

So, when you’re reflecting on the lessons from toxic relationships, remember there’s a treasure trove of strength and goodness waiting in the aftermath.

You’ll unearth old bits of yourself needing a hug and discover new bits yearning for a brighter life.

The worst relationship of my life taught me a many number of things.

Things that I never needed to worry about before because I had never dealt with such an unsafe person.

There are some things that I carry with me now…

It’s okay to look back, but sometimes it will make you sad; so don’t stare.

You can’t make someone want to do the right thing after they’ve hurt you.

You can’t convince someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved.

You can’t convince someone to give you the bare basics, it’s better to let them show you through their effort what you mean to them.

You can’t convince someone to treat you with respect or to make you a priority in their life, but you can choose what you’re no longer prepared to tolerate.

You can’t make someone listen to how you truly feel, because they have to be able to demonstrate genuine empathy and compassion to do that; some people talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.

If someone won’t respect your boundaries, they don’t respect you period!

If someone has a problem with your boundaries, they aren’t in your life for the right reasons anyway.

Don’t sacrifice your own morals and values for someone who doesn’t have decent morals and values.

When someone shows you their true character, don’t try to cast them as a different character; because they’ve just shown you exactly who they really are.

It doesn’t matter what someone says to you, it’s their actions that show you what you really mean to them.

Someone who wants to deflect and blame shift is already hiding multiple other things from you.

Someone who is a manipulator will refuse to be accountable for the things they’ve done and how it’s made you feel.

When people are unhealed themselves, they will project that onto you.

Someone who is unaccountable is a very unsafe person.

Someone who breaks your trust knowing they’re breaking your trust is also a very unsafe person.

Being unhappy in a relationship doesn’t just affect your mental health, it’s physical too.

Someone can enter your life and their presence can completely destroy every single aspect of your life, yet they won’t show any remorse because they don’t care and they didn’t value who you were to begin with.

Sometimes someone pretends to love you because they crave attention and validation, but their actions are not that of love.

Don’t ignore the red flags that show up early on, because they’ll be the very reason that things end later on.

Don’t ignore someone’s toxic behaviours in hope that they’ll get better, they’ll only get worse over time because they know you’ll tolerate it.

A committed partner doesn’t flirt in front of you, cheat, and then try to gaslight you into thinking otherwise.

Cheating isn’t just physical because they know exactly what they’re doing.

You can’t communicate with someone who’s not emotionally mature or emotionally intelligent, it’s like talking to a brick wall.

If someone doesn’t care about you or care about the way they make you feel, it’s not your job to convince them to care.

If someone won’t make the time to be with you, they’re not worth your time or your tears.

You can’t build trust with someone who’s never there.

A person will lie about you in the most heartbreaking of ways after a relationship has ended just to protect their own ego.

Their lies validate your decision to no longer chase them and instead move on; so move on like you never knew them, because in reality you didn’t.

The right person will never ever make you feel like they’re the wrong person, and they’ll never place themselves in a position to lose you..

Your self-worth and self-esteem are the most valuable things you have, so don’t let anyone take it from you because they are unhealed.

Sometimes the only answer is to leave it all behind you, and move on no matter how painful it is.

You can’t allow someone to continue making you feel badly about yourself, making you feel worthless, and ignoring the fact that they do, just because they are choosing to be an unsafe person for you.

Know your worth and don’t settle for less than you deserve… (Richard-Alan Sinnot)

Nevertheless, love is a remarkable journey of self-discovery and empowerment. But can you experience all this while preserving your self-worth and individuality? In “Juicy Relationships: The Gaslighting Guru, Empowering You Against Manipulation & Discover Your Life’s Meaning!” you will embark on a journey that redefines love beyond superficial attractions. Grounded in rich narratives and relatable characters, you’ll explore a tapestry of connections that celebrate love in its most authentic forms.

It’s all about vibration—energy! This is how we draw things into our lives. Overcome the fear of scarcity. It’s essential to open our hearts. What you resist persists. Let go of self-doubt and embrace gratitude. Master your craft; when you’re in the flow, things feel effortless. Struggling often comes with resistance and effort. Address your patterns. Trauma can spike blood glucose levels, creating a need for control. The immune system reacts to this as a threat, leading to inflammation—it’s a protective response. Tackle toxic patterns that put stress on the body. Focus on mind management; remember, I am not my depression—it is not an illness. I know how to navigate it. Extreme trauma comes with a label, but let’s work to fix it. I am experiencing it, not defined by it. Addiction is a response, not a disease. Your mind holds more power than your brain. Acute trauma can trigger a storm in both hemispheres of the brain. While you can’t change the past, you can begin from where you are and shape a new ending.

Please be aware that the book contains explicit content and a myriad of uncomfortable truths.
Sending you love and magic! Always, Lynnie. ❤