By Lynnie Stein / May 19, 2024

The Purpose of Dating & Loving Oneself

Hold on to your heart until you’ve got a love twin who matches your affection level.

Otherwise, today’s love high might turn into tomorrow’s low blow.

Dating is like a love scavenger hunt to find that one teammate for life.

So, now that we’ve cracked the dating code, what’s the ideal partner recipe for you?

The purpose of dating is to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with, that’s it…Now you know the purpose. Who should you date?

Always remember your worth!

Being selective is absolutely acceptable. You should never have resentment at the end of a relationship. Work different with the next relationship being always kind and communicate effectively.

Date someone who understands you even in the woo-woo times.

You deserve to be in a secure partnership. It’s not all about solving each others problems, it’s about enjoying each others problems.

Fall head over heels for someone who puts your smile above all else – they understand that true love is all about spreading joy, not harm.

“I am here for you”.

When it’s love, it’s not just a hunch – you’ll feel it in your bones.

When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.

You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.

When you find someone who makes you feel the same way music does, that’s when you found someone special.

Find a partner who is CRAZY about you; with them, you won’t have to BEG for a moment of attention.

Know the difference between those who stay to feel the soil & those who come to grab the fruit.

Love with purpose… without purpose love affairs become a mockery to the heart. Stop reaching out if they haven’t replied to a text or returned a call in days. They know they haven’t spoken to you, and it’s because they don’t want to. He made no effort to reach you because he doesn’t care about your needs. Have some dignity and let it go.  

Love isn’t something you should chase after, buy, or trade.

Instead, it’s simply how much love you believe you deserve. Rather than a constant struggle, love should happen effortlessly. And it will do just that if you begin to see yourself as a lovable person that operates independently of what other people think.

Do you know what’s going to happen if that person steps out of your life?

They take all of that love away with them. 

Rather than allowing someone to have such power over you, internalize your self-love and gain control of the way you see yourself. Everything in your life will change as a result.

This is the power of internalizing the control of your self-esteem and love. Remember that the longest relationship that you’re going to have in life is the one you have with yourself.

Children will grow up, your parents will likely depart before you, and friends and lovers often come and go.

You are the only person who will be around your whole life. Therefore, the sooner you learn to love that person, the better.

Repeat this : I am lovable.

I am safe, secure, loved & adored.

I am lovable, I am loved & I deeply & truly love myself.

Imagine what someone who loves you would say about you (and use that to love yourself)

What do you want to hear about yourself?

Has anybody ever told you something that made you feel loved?

You already know the power of words, and hearing that you’re lovable and important to someone can put you on cloud nine.

But, instead of waiting for someone else to say it, why not say it to yourself?

Again, you are the one person who should find yourself lovable and indispensable. You can, and should, say these words to yourself rather than get them from other people.

Date your bestie, who supports you and believes in your vision.

Let’s make some sweet music with that perfect combo of Best Friend Chemistry, Sexual Chemistry, and Mutual Respect. Bonus points if you are happy-go-lucky with a secure attachment style. 

Date a matured mind not a matured body.

Anyone can want you. But the love hits differently when someone actually values you.

Understand that “perfect” doesn’t exist

The world might convince you that only “perfect” people can find love. Furthermore, “perfection” often refers to someone’s physical appearance, as if beauty is more worthy of love.

Despite this, Marisa Peer has worked with many supermodels, Hollywood actors, and other highly desired people who suffered feelings of loneliness. Their lives appeared so perfect that they intimidated other people. 

If they managed to find love, these “perfect” people only received distress and disparagement.

Their partners, who couldn’t believe their luck with someone so perfect, may try to diminish them in every way.

You have to realize that beauty doesn’t have anything to do with love. Self-love is possible for everyone regardless of status or appearance. 

Besides, who gets to decide what perfection is?

Everybody has their own beauty standards, idea of love, and everything else in life. Since there’s no such thing as an objectively perfect person, you must learn to love and accept yourself for who you are to be happy.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to take pride in your appearance, but you have to do it from a position of love. Do it for yourself and not anybody else. When you learn to love yourself as you are, any improvement will only result in even more love.

What do you really want in a relationship?

Open communication, loyalty, honesty, understanding, kindness, compassion, trust, emotional vulnerability, and willingness to forgive are some of the most important things that keep a relationship afloat.

Secure Attachment Style: Understanding its Characteristics

Individuals with a secure attachment style exhibit empathy and are capable of setting appropriate boundaries.

They often feel secure, steady, and content in their intimate relationships.

While they are comfortable with independence, they thrive in close and meaningful connections.

Going beyond mere sympathy, true empathy involves stepping into their shoes and resonating with their emotional rhythm.

In relationships, empathy is essential for two main reasons: It reveals a hidden layer to understand your partner better, and It strengthens the bond between both partners.

Sure, being an empathy champ every single time can be a tough gig.

Yet, sprinkling empathy in relationships might just be the magic potion that keeps the connection thriving.

Empathy is a superpower that lets you step into someone else’s world, thoughts, and emotions.

It’s the ultimate tool to swap perspectives, peek through their unique glasses, and vibe with what they’re feeling.

Be with someone who is proud to be with you and love to show it.

Don’t allow damaged people to hurt you 

Do you have an example of self-love in your surroundings?

Or do you spend time with broken people who are looking for you to put them back together?

Unfortunately, the latter is a lot more common. 

It can feel noble and rewarding in a sense to pick up somebody’s pieces and make them whole.

But you wouldn’t be doing yourself any favours in doing this.


Marisa explains:

“Damaged and hurt people damage and harm people.”

It’s very hard to love yourself when you have to devote all of your love to someone who doesn’t love themselves. 

As mentioned, there is no point in making it somebody else’s job to love you. That means you wouldn’t want this job either. It puts a lot of pressure on you and makes you compromise your own needs in favour of what you can do for the other person.

Therefore, every person is responsible for loving themselves first before others.

Find a partner who treasures Talk, while also cherishing Chemistry and Compassion.

The secret to a thriving relationship?

Open communication, attentive listening, and keeping up the romance.

I only do nice things for people who treat me with respect!
Acceptance. Appreciation & Actions.
Spread your sunshine to those who bring on the good vibes!

I am a fierce force of love, deserving of the kind that makes hearts thump and takes breaths away.
My beauty radiates from within, bursting outwards in every direction.
With a treasure trove of tales under my belt, I’m ready to create even more.
I’m bold and confident, knowing exactly what my heart yearns for.

You can be born a man, but to remain one…

The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her.

My ex taught me that no matter how good of a woman you are … you’ll never be good enough for a guy who isn’t ready to be a man.

– Scent of Love

May you have perfect wisdom to do the right things.

She is not going to pursue you.

She’s not going to sit there and prove her worth to you every day that passes.

She’s not going to try and manipulate you to believe that she’s better than everybody else.

Because she already knows she is.

She knows she’s the best thing that will ever come into your life.

She knows she’s not perfect but….

She knows what she’s been through, she has healed numerous times for the trauma, and she finally knows how valuable her life truly is.

If you get a chance to be part of her life, you should consider it a blessing.

If she wants you to be a part of her life, then it’s for a specific reason.

She doesn’t waste her time on temporary conversations anymore.

She has finally come to the conclusion that her time is precious so she’s not going to waste it on someone who didn’t realize she is too. 

She knows mixed signals indicate low interest.

She knows he made contact after ghosting trying to use her and to get over her.

He is ego-based and not at a stage of pure love.

If you are rejected accept. If you are unloved let go. If they choose someone or something over you, move on.

Remember, that in every NO from someone is a yes to someone better.

“It’s okay to be disappointed that someone you were with didn’t turn out to be the one for you.

But you must not grieve as if they were the one for you”

Matthew Hussey

I don’t want a toxic on and off love.

I want someone that chooses me everyday even when I’m hard to deal with.


Let go of what was said to you in the past

We’re all born with the conviction that we’re lovable. Babies wake up in the middle of the night because they need attention in some shape or form. They don’t think about whether they deserve that attention.

Growing up, however, our parents and other people around us can say things that make us feel less lovable. Yours might have compared you to your siblings, for example. Whatever issues your parents possessed, you might have internalized and blamed yourself for them.

The point is, you must have learned not to love yourself for some reason. But this also means that you get to unlearn this and regain the lost self-love.

Discover how to nurture your inner child, heal past wounds, and find new joy and energy in life.
And what better way to explore this journey than with a delightful journal that’s filled with prompts and space for self-reflection?

I have to tell you one thing….There is only one YOU and you are IRREPLACEABLE!!!

Sending you a burst of positivity! Remember, life is like a rollercoaster, with twists and turns.

You’re not alone in this wild ride, even strangers are cheering you on because we’re all in this together. So, wrap yourself in warm bear hugs and feel the love all around you.

Keep in mind, tough times don’t last forever, they’re just pit stops in the grand adventure of life.

Reset, recharge, and remember, you’ve got a whole squad rooting for you to conquer those boss battles! Embrace your unique journey, ditch the self-critiques, and remember, you’re a rare gem in this grand tapestry of existence.

Hold on tight, weather the storm, and watch those dark clouds part to reveal a brighter sky.

Remember that you are lovable—even if you don’t feel it at the moment. Moreover, you are worthy of all the love that you give to others. So it’s high time you nourish your mind and soul with unconditional love and acceptance to receive that love yourself.

Of course, it will take time and effort to start loving yourself again. But you’re not alone in this

Love and light are always shining your way. Hugs and positive vibes, Lynnie xo

“I love You” …We are all unique, but not different, we all want the same thing: to be loved, listened to and respected.

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