Juicy Relationships – Rich and Rewarding Connections

First up, the not-so-fabulous connections – the gaslighters!

A gaslighter is a partner in a relationship who uses manipulative behaviour to make their partner question their reality and doubt their own perceptions and judgment. 

Gaslighting is a form of emotional or psychological abuse that can be a sign of more frequent and worsening abuse.

A person who gaslights another is a person looking for dominance and power. Often the person is looking to fulfil their desire to be admired. They lack empathy for others, and their gaslighting can cause danger to their victims both mentally and emotionally.

Most people assume that others have the same moral code as themselves. We assume that others agree it is wrong to lie, steal, and manipulate others for our own gain. So, it can come as a shock when you cross paths with someone who shatters that perception.

Oh, how I wish someone had waved a big red flag about these toxic traits my way sooner!

So many girls and women have to stumble through the minefield just like I did… it’s a total bummer!

After dodging the drama of abuse, I feel like it’s our superhero duty to shout from the rooftops about the perils of manipulation.

Classic sociopaths are not trying to impress you to build up their own ego; rather, they will only try to impress you if it serves a purpose in their greater plan. They are less likely to brag than narcissists. Instead, the sociopath is more likely to bestow compliments on you and centre the conversation around you to get you to like them (and to do what they want).

Sociopaths are more calculating, while narcissists are more reactive. Sociopaths might even apologize or put themselves down with false humility if it serves some greater purpose in the game they are playing.

Let’s spread the word and save others from this wild ride!

The term “gaslighting” has gone from stage to sensational!

It all kicked off in the 1938 play, Gas Light, where a lady gets served a heaping dose of doubt as she’s wrongfully accused over and over, leaving her questioning her own sanity.

Talk about a dramatic twist!

Nothing annoys me more than when someone expects you to be okay with something that they wouldn’t be okay with if it was done to them. Genuine kindness doesn’t seek repayment or control. If someone’s generosity feels like a burden or comes with conditions, it’s time to set boundaries and evaluate the relationship. True support empowers, while narcissistic “generosity” ensnares.

Gaslighting is like a twisted game of blame where the other person throws out wild denials and ridiculous accusations.

You’ve got two flavours of this nonsense: (1) they claim you did something you definitely didn’t do, like “Hey, did you just swipe money from our joint account?” and (2) they throw shade on your character with zingers like “You’re smothering me, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m out!” “You know, you’re not perfect either” and “You’re not as nice of a person as you think you are”.

Allowing yourself to be harmed in the name of love isn’t love.

Listen up: steer clear of narcissists like they’re a bad haircut!

Names? Who cares! Whether they’re a toxic puppet master, a narcissistic peacock, or a sociopath in disguise, if they’re short on empathy, they’re a walking red flag!

Just take a peek at how they treat animals. Bring up their beloved pets and watch the truth unfold—let’s see if they’re a dog lover or a cat connoisseur! What do our fabulous feline friends teach us?

Well, buckle up for some purr-fect life lessons! 1) Cats are the ultimate boundary setters. 2) They’re all about that permission life. 3) They adore a good cuddle, but only when they’re calling the shots! 4) Cats have an uncanny ability to sense the vibes in the room. 5) And let’s face it, they’ll never be completely tamed or under your thumb—because they’re the true rulers of the house!

Significant studies revealed that individuals who abuse animals are five times more likely to also inflict harm on humans. In a 2017 study, it was found that 89% of women who had companion animals during abusive relationships reported that their pets were threatened, harmed, or even killed by their abusive partners. This aligns with other research indicating that violence against pets is linked to domestic violence against humans and serves as a method of control within abusive relationships. Abusive household members often threaten or injure companion animals as a means of emotional manipulation. Indeed, over half of the women in domestic violence shelters indicated that they postponed their escape due to concerns for their pets’ safety.

How does he treat his mum? Having “mummy issues” may just mean a dude might be wrestling with some emotional baggage from his childhood days with dear ol’ mom. These childhood quirks can really spice up how he treats and respects women, tackles conflicts, and dives into intimacy as a grown-up!

Do your homework before saying “I do.” Trust me, the divorce drama will be a total circus, especially if you dare to toss them aside and bruise that narcissistic ego!

Stay smart and safe out there!

Narcs aren’t just partners. They are parents, siblings and bosses too!

• Being proven right is the ultimate goal of a narcissist in divorce or a family settlement, and they will do whatever it takes to make that happen.
• Narcissists love to play the game of delay and distraction! So, if you’ve got any treasures owed to you, bring in a sidekick and steer clear of their mind games. Trust me, trying to outsmart them is like bringing a spoon to a sword fight—they’ve got a wicked agenda and you’re just not going to win!
• When divorcing a narcissist, it is critical to have an attorney who is familiar with this type of difficult personality.
• The most widely-applied measure of narcissism is the Narcissistic Personality Inventory 40 (NPI-40; Raskin & Hall, 1979). The NPI-16 and -13 were constructed as more economical, brief measures of narcissism (Ames et al., 2006; Gentile et al., 2013).
• Juggling split custody can feel like trying to catch water balloons, but here’s the kicker: when kids are left in the dark about their week, it sparks some real eye-openers! They start to realize gems like, “nobody else gets to tell you how you feel” and “you’re allowed to believe yourself without explaining yourself.”
• (The above is from a battle-hardened divorce lawyer and single loving mum).

If you think you’re caught in a gaslighting whirlwind, grab a journal and become the Sherlock Holmes of your own story! Jot down the date, time, your words, and their sneaky replies. This documented treasure is pure gold when facing off with a gaslighter, especially if you need to bring their shenanigans to HR or a lawyer. Stay savvy!

• The mental health impact of gaslighting includes feelings of powerlessness, confusion, isolation, disorientation, and low self-esteem.
• Reaching out to people you trust and to professional support can help victims of gaslighting leave abusive relationships and recover from the effects of being gaslit.

Ever thought that someone’s fibs could be the secret sauce to discovering your own worth?

It’s like life’s little puzzles teaching us that every person waltzes into our world for a purpose—even the tricky ones!

People pop into our lives for a reason: Some are here to school us, while those unexpected relationships reveal their vibrant true colours!

Tough love from tricky relationships?

Bring it on! They’re like boot camp for the heart, prepping us for future awesomeness.

Life is hard enough, don’t make it harder by holding on to someone who can’t love you.

You’ll be ok without them. You’ll see. If you skip the healing and soul-searching, you might just find yourself swiping right on another self-absorbed or emotionally distant partner, keeping the toxic relationship merry-go-round spinning!

Emotional unavailability is the sneaky villain in rebound romances. When you leap into a new fling too quickly, you might still be wrestling with the emotional hangover from your last love.

This can throw a wrench in genuine connection with your new beau, as you’re still tangled up in those pesky unresolved feelings and trust issues. Carrying that emotional baggage can be like trying to run a marathon with a backpack full of bricks— take a break and heal before building a healthy, happy relationship while dodging more heartbreak!

Your worth? When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.

20+ Sneaky Signs You’re Being Gaslighted!

1. Blatant Lies. You know the person is lying, often and with ease, yet they say they do not recognise this in their behaviour. Does my partner consistently make me question my thoughts and experience of things? Do I catch them in lies?
2. Deny, Deny, Deny. You know what they said. Gaslighters use denial as a manipulative tactic to undermine their victim’s sense of reality. They may deny: *An agreement *A conversation *A physical event, like hitting you *Something they previously agreed to * Denial can take many forms, including: *Creating a story to explain their actions * Pretending to have forgotten what happened *Insisting that an event never happened, even when you show them proof * Refusing to admit to a lie ….Other gaslighting techniques include: 
3. Withholding
4. Countering
5. Blocking or diverting
6. Trivializing
7. Spreading rumours or gossip
8. Blame shifting
9. Projecting their own negative actions onto the victim. A gaslighter projects their actions on to their victim.  For example, if the gaslighter is a liar and a cheater, they accuse the victim of being a liar and a cheater. The person feels that they constantly need to defend themselves for things they have not done.
10. Accusing the victim of being mentally ill.
11.  Is this person saying things that are designed to make me feel bad? Is the level of criticism pervasive in that sense of they’re going at the same thing consistently?
12. Using What You Love Against You. For example: If you have children, the gaslighter will make you believe you are a poor parent.
13. Losing Your Sense of Self.
14. Words Versus Actions.
15. Love and Flattery. Gaslighters often use a tactic called “love bombing” to manipulate their victims after starting an argument. They’ll shower you with praise, affection, and appreciation, making you more likely to fall for their tricks.
16. Confusion. Silent treatment. Pre-planned smear campaign. Ignoring boundaries.
17. Moving too fast. Nagging. Devaluing. Gaslighting. The niceness followed by coldness.
18. Holding out for that big relationship moment—like moving in or tying the knot—just to see if they’ll finally reveal their true, dazzling colours!
19. Everyone Else is A Liar The gaslighter may tell the person everyone else is against them and that you are lying. Such action further blurs the victim’s sense of reality and increases their dependence on the gaslighter.
20. Gaslighting is a form of mental and emotional abuse. The sooner the signs are recognised, the sooner the victim can take steps to find help.

Peep into your time machine and check out how you started versus how you ended up in that relationship. Take a good look in the mirror and soak in your surroundings.

Whether you were ready to take flight, hiding in fright, or completely frozen, there were moments you felt like a sloth on vacation! Everything just stacked up like a game of Jenga – the dishes, laundry, your personal care, and those thoughts racing faster than a hamster on a wheel!

Anger is like that annoying mosquito buzzing around — it’s real, but you’ve got the power to swat it away! Don’t let their rage rain on your parade; it’s not about you! Stand tall and don’t let them hijack your feelings. Just watch their drama unfold without letting it stick to you! You have the power to protect yourself, to respond but not react, to observe but not absorb.

Treat the “discard” as a gift.

The discard phase hits you like a surprise piñata party—WHIPLASH! One minute they’re sweet as pie, and the next? BAM! They morph into a gloomy, desaturated, sourpuss who’s as pleasant as a cactus at a hug convention! I believe every time they pull the silent treatment, it’s like a big neon sign saying, “You’re not worth the chat, buddy!” It’s their way of tossing you out of the conversation like yesterday’s leftovers!

They pick your weakest moment to discard. When you have had a home invasion, lost your job or require an urgent operation. They never discard when you are at normal strength because they know they are no match for us. If they can’t find a weak moment, they will create one by sabotage.

“Remember…self-compassion is like Kryptonite to the Narc…game over. Knowing the relationship was built on lies has helped me to heal. It was NEVER what it appeared to be. The present was fake. The future was faked. It was a game to that person who probably laughed behind my back and called me a sucker. It was just a movie that came to an end, and now I’ve exited the theatre. You can’t change their history.

Save thousands in ” therapy”… Just walk away and live a virtuous life.. Always be kind and respectful.

We think we’re all about that steamy action, but hold your horses!

What we really crave is intimacy.

It’s all about those tender touches, the lingering gazes, the admiration, the giggles, and that warm fuzzy feeling of safety when someone’s got your back.

That’s the good stuff!

Now, check this out: the average hug lasts a mere 3 seconds.

But researchers found that if you crank up the tight hugs to 20 seconds, it works wonders for your body and soul! Why?

Because that heartfelt embrace releases oxytocin, the magical “love hormone.”

This little gem does wonders for your health, easing your mind, melting your worries, and wrapping you in a cosy blanket of calm.

And the best part? This amazing elixir is totally free every time you hug a friend, cuddle a baby, snuggle a furry pal, or sway with your dance partner.

So go on, spread those arms wide and let the hugs flow!

• Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of your worth.
• Whisper the truth to yourself or write it down in a journal.
• Set boundaries:
• Consider these responses:
• “It seems we remember things differently, so let’s move on.”
• “If you call me ‘crazy,’ I’m going to leave the room or end the phone conversation”
• “We can talk about it, but if you shout, I’m going to leave.”
• Sticking to these boundaries is essential. Following through shows them they can’t manipulate you.
• Johnny Depp once said:
• What you decide to tolerate more than once will inevitably become a pattern that will repeat itself.
• By not setting clear boundaries, you teach others – and yourself – that certain behaviours or situations are acceptable, even if they make you uncomfortable or hurt you.
• Every time you allow something that goes against your principles or your well being, you open the door for it to be repeated.
• Setting boundaries isn’t just about firmness, it’s about self respect.

BACK TO GASLIGHTING: Quick recap time!

Some classic signs of gaslighting?

Enter DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

It’s like a twisted magic trick, where the real victim becomes the villain!

It’s a series of actions used by a perpetrator as a defence mechanism when their unkind behaviour is questioned or called out.

It works to confuse you and your sense of reality.  

• Denying reality: The gaslighter pulls a Houdini, vanishing facts, situations, and their partner’s feelings faster than you can say “what just happened?”
• Memory games: They love to play memory tag, questioning your recollection of events, even if you’re spot on.
• Subject switcheroo: Suddenly, it’s like a magic show—poof! The topic changes, and your thoughts are under the spotlight.
• Trivial twist: Your feelings? Just a tiny blip on their radar, making them seem like a mere afterthought.
• Projection party: The gaslighter loves to throw their own bad vibes onto you like confetti at a parade.
• Accusation extravaganza: And just when you thought it couldn’t get crazier, they accuse you of being the one who’s lost the plot—hello, irony!

Unhealed Childhood Trauma

It can kick off in childhood with those oh-so-narcissistic parents. But hey, we let them off the hook because who can they point fingers at? Their parents, and their parents, and the family tree goes on!

Understand that a gaslighter may be projecting their insecurities onto you. 

A gaslighter may be manipulating you without even realizing they’re doing so.

Their lack of self-awareness may stem from childhood trauma or being gaslit themselves.

Even though a gaslighter’s antics are a big no-no in any scenario, let’s not forget they might be nursing some inner wounds.

After all, hurt people often end up hurting others—it’s like a twisted game of emotional hot potato!

• Ignorance isn’t an excuse for manipulative behaviour. If a gaslighter continues to manipulate even after becoming aware of their actions, they’re not to be trusted.
• Being manipulated by a gaslighter can leave you emotionally and physically exhausted.
• After you’ve walked away or left a gaslighter, the best thing you can do for yourself is ask for help. Talking to a therapist can help you heal from a gaslighter and feel more confident in yourself—allowing you to turn the tables by taking back control of your life.
• Focus on Yourself.
• Do not lose your sense of self. This, coupled with the aftershocks of a breakup (even if the split is from a family member or a friend), can create the perfect conditions for wallowing.
• Still, it’s important to ditch your couch-and-sweatpants habit before it becomes routine.
• Create space internally, mentally, emotionally, and then externally by engaging with people outside the relationship. Direct some much-needed attention to any relationships that may have been on the back burner, and open yourself up to meeting new people, too. A shared interest is always a great ice-breaker, so think about signing up for a workshop, class, retreat, or another opportunity to combine a pastime with socialization.
• Trust Your Gut
• Now and always, resolve to heed your intuition and follow your instincts. The internal step, in terms of what to do if you feel like you’re being gaslit, is to make the commitment to yourself that you do not have to question your thoughts, feelings, perceptions about anything. That is a choice that you make as an individual to reassess a situation that nobody is allowed to re-narrate anything for you.
• In other words, your emotions, thoughts, and memories should never be subject to debate—period.
• Our communities can have a skewed view of what violence in intimate relationships actually looks like. What comes to mind is physical violence, or sexual violence – something that is much easier to categorise as “not OK”. But that type of behaviour typically doesn’t appear out of thin air.
• It usually follows non-physical violence – insidious behaviour that breaks down a person’s boundaries, instincts and self-esteem to gain control over their independence, autonomy and judgement.  

Gaslighting works partly because you want to trust and respect the person gaslighting you.

You want to have faith in your doctor, your parents, your partner, your sister or your best friend.

Plus, gaslighting can be as sneaky as a cat in a cucumber patch!

It often slips on a friendly disguise, pretending to “look out for you.” “I hate to break it to you,” your roommate pipes up one day. “But your friends? Yeah, they’re just in it for your cash. They don’t really like you!” Ouch! Those words hit home because, deep down, you’ve had that nagging worry.

Sure, you could grill your friends for the truth, but that little seed of doubt has you sweating bullets about what they might say!

When trying to understand subtler behaviours like gaslighting,

I ask one simple question: 

What does the person stand to gain from this behaviour?

People strut their stuff for two main reasons: to grab some goodies (like status, cash, a hot date, tasty snacks, or a buddy to chill with) or to dodge the dreaded losses (like a breakup, a tumble down the social ladder, or getting the boot from their job).

Gaslighters are like emotional leeches; they cling to you for their fix, not out of love, but out of need. Once you’ve served your purpose, poof!

They toss you aside, only to pop back up when their charm runs dry or when they can’t find a shiny new toy to play with.

The whole relationship is a twisted game to keep you from seeing their shady antics.

Want to crack the code? Figure out what they stand to gain or lose, and you’ll unlock the mystery of their gaslighting ways. If someone is flat-out denying your feelings or your crystal-clear memories—like whether they threw a punch or just tossed a pillow—watch out!

That’s gaslighting territory, while minor memory differences could just be harmless forgetfulness. Spotting gaslighting can feel like finding a needle in a haystack, but keep an eye out for those sneaky patterns where someone repeatedly denies your reality for their own gain.

This isn’t just casual dismissal; it’s a manipulative dance meant to make you doubt your own sanity.

If someone’s constantly belittling your feelings or acting like your shared reality is just a figment of your imagination, congratulations—you’ve got yourself a gaslighter!

Turning Off the Gas on Your Gaslighter…

Forgiving and Moving Forward

Forgiveness can occur in the context described above, but it is best to focus this on the one who acted wrongly, and that would be the partner who consistently engaged in gaslighting.

Forgiving may help to reduce resentment, gain more energy and focus, and move on well with life.

You can’t turn a caterpillar into a butterfly, my friend! The only makeover you can work is on yourself. So, wave goodbye to the past and release all those folks who just don’t vibe with your fabulousness anymore! Forgive, forget, and strut into your brighter future!

When you love someone, it’s not despite their limitations. It’s because of their limitations.

Cheating fathers produce cheating sons!

Jennifer Harley Chalmers, Ph.D., in her book Surviving an Affair, spills the tea on one of the major lessons kids learn when a parent strays: thoughtlessness!

It’s all about doing your thing without a care for how it messes with others.

Judith Wallerstein, co-author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, dives into the “sleeper effect” of parental divorce. Kids don’t just feel the impact right away; it sneaks up on them later when they try to build their own relationships, all while grappling with trust issues and a foggy idea of what a solid marriage looks like.

Ana Nogales backs this up in Parents Who Cheat, showing that kids of infidelity also deal with this sneaky aftermath. In 2012, a whopping one-quarter of adults under 45 in the U.S. were children of divorce.

That’s millions of people still wrestling with the divorce monkey on their backs!

Wallerstein raises eyebrows asking about the million new kiddos added to our “marital failure parade” every year.

And if we toss in kids of separation and infidelity? Yikes!

Watching relationships crumble and fall into infidelity only fuels the belief that failure is just around the corner. Sure, adults today have more freedom than ever, but with that comes a hidden price tag that just keeps climbing.

It’s up to every parent to decide what kind of legacy they’re handing down.

Marriage: To Be or Not To Be?

In a world obsessed with tossing out the old for the shiny new, when something goes kaput, people are quick to ditch it.

Relationships? Oh, they’re easier to toss than last week’s leftovers! If your car breaks down, do you junk it or fix it? What does it say about us when we treat our love lives like yesterday’s trash?

The pressure cooker of modern marriage expectations just adds fuel to the fire. With social networks fraying, couples are expected to create the ultimate lifelong bond—safe, loving, financially stable, and thrilling. No pressure, right?

Andrew Cherlin, author of The Marriage-Go-Round, calls our relationship culture “schizophrenic.” We’re stuck in a loop of marriage “churning,” quickly divorcing and remarrying.

We crave love, but we also want to chase our own happiness. If we’re not feeling the joy, we think we have the right to hit the exit. Marriages typically fizzle out after about eleven years.

Is our age of self-obsession making us too picky for a relationship that doesn’t deliver endless bliss? Psychotherapist Rachel Morris suggests that modern culture is at odds with the idea of sticking it out in marriage—it’s all about choice, freedom, and ambition these days!

Despite all this, more young folks are craving monogamous marriages and are less cool with infidelity. Yet, when it comes to our own relationships, we’re more likely to shrug off cheating instead of treating it like the big no-no it once was—now, we’re more inclined to hash it out with therapists.

It’s crucial to help people grasp what it truly means to work through relationship bumps and what they lose when they jump ship. Not every marriage can or should be saved, but no therapist can work magic if one partner isn’t ready to tackle the issues that come from infidelity. Sometimes the wounds run too deep or the unfaithful partner isn’t ready to commit to rebuilding. But couples who are all-in on reviving their relationship stand a solid chance of creating something even deeper and more honest together!

Meet Betty and Mervyn, the dynamic duo who’ve danced through life together since their teenage years and are now rocking their 90s!

They even kicked off their honeymoon at the Melbourne Olympics back in 1956! I count myself lucky to know such a fabulous couple who are all about love, loyalty, and honest hearts.

Watching them together is like binge-watching the best love story ever—I’m glued to every adorable moment, soaking in all that sweet, sweet love!

I can practically hear a chorus of folks raised by cheating parents, who’ve been blissfully coupled for many decades, scratching their heads over all this.

It’s a tough pill to swallow in Western culture when you hear that personal grit and true love aren’t the magic cure-alls. But I believe they can take you to the finish line—just as long as you’re honest with yourself about the starting line.

Solution 1: What do YOU believe?

Not your parents, not your community—just you!

Time to dig through those family messages about love and relationships.

It sounds daunting, but grab a pen and paper for a quick 20-minute brain dump.

Over time, you’ll spot a few themes to work with. For instance, if your dad was a serial cheater but still got high-fives from the neighbourhood, it’s crucial to define what masculinity means to YOU.

Whether it’s pumping iron, building stuff, or even mastering the art of gardening or poker, find your groove so you don’t fall back on what childhood taught you.

Solution 2: How do you handle insecurity in a relationship?

Trust may be your middle name, but turbulence is inevitable. Kids of cheaters often see infidelity as a go-to escape route during conflict.

Back to the trusty paper and pen! Jot down what you learned about handling disagreements.

Recognize how cheating may have been a tool for your parents—maybe it was an escape, a weapon, or a way to express dissatisfaction. It’s all about meeting a need.

Solution 3: What makes YOU happy?

The secret sauce of any love story is personal happiness. Research shows that your parents’ relationship bliss (or lack thereof) can influence your risk of cheating.

So, let’s pull out that pen one last time!

How did you sense your parents’ happiness?

Was it all sunshine and rainbows, or more like heavy sighs and eye rolls?

What worked for them, and what didn’t?

Here’s a personal nugget: As a white, straight, woman raised in a culture where women often put their desires on the back burner for their male partners, I fell into that trap. I’d swallow my needs. To turn the tide, I had to challenge those cultural norms. Then came the hard part: actually voicing my needs—something that was way tougher than it sounds for a wordsmith! That was my solution, and I assure you, it’s no fairy tale myth!

Meaning is the Way, the path of life more abundant, the place you live when you are guided by Love and speaking Truth and when nothing you want or could possibly want takes any precedence over precisely that.

Only humans can whip up suffering just for the fun of it—talk about a twisted talent!

That’s my personal definition of evil, folks.

One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.

So, what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?

Maximize the good vibes in record time! And next year?

I’ll be outdoing my own goodness like it’s a competition!

What about my life?

Aim for Paradise and focus on today—no procrastination allowed!

As for your wife? Treat her like she’s the Holy Mother of God, so she can bring forth the next world-saving superstar.

With your daughter? Play her biggest fan, listening and guarding her, and reassure her that motherhood is just as fabulous a choice if she wants it.

My parents? Act in a way that makes their sacrifices worth it.

For my son? I’ll inspire him to be the ultimate Son of The Universe.

The stranger? He’s getting an invite to my humble abode and a brotherly welcome.

A fallen soul? I’ll lend a hand but won’t wallow in the mud with them.

What about the world? I’ll strut my stuff, acting like existence is more precious than non-existence. Educating my people? Sharing what I truly treasure, of course!

When it comes to a torn nation, I’ll stitch it back together with words that ring true.

A lying man? Let him spill his secrets so we can see the real him.

The enlightened? I’ll swap him out for someone actually seeking enlightenment, because there’s no end to that quest. Being isn’t a state; it’s a fabulous process—a never-ending journey of transforming what you know by bumping into what you don’t.

So what if I despise what I have? I’ll remember those with nothing and snatch up some gratitude.

And if I’m stuck? It might be my ego getting in the way of using what’s right in front of me.

When greed claws at me, I’ll remember that giving is the real jackpot!

If I’ve messed up my rivers, I’ll search for living water to cleanse the Earth.

Stop Waiting… travel solo, go to the music festival alone, take yourself out to dinner, sign up for the dance lessons, buy the motorbike, explore your own city. And stop waiting for other people to give you permission to do the things you want to do.

When my enemy shines? I’ll aim higher and thank the universe for the lesson!

Tired and impatient? I’ll gratefully grab that helping hand.

Aging? I’ll swap youthful potential for mature accomplishments—because a life well-lived justifies its bumps!

With my little one gone? I’ll hug my loved ones tight and help heal their hearts.

In a tight spot? I’ll zoom in on the next right move.

To my faithless brother / sister? I’ll remind him / her that the King of the Damned isn’t the best judge of being.

To strengthen my spirit? No lies, no despicable deeds!

To honour my body? Only use it for my soul’s service.

Tough questions? They’re the keys to life’s path!

The poor? I’ll lift their spirits through my actions.

And when the crowd calls? I’ll stand tall and share my beautifully broken truths!

Stride like a boss and keep those peepers locked on your destination!

Embrace your inner daredevil and let that serotonin party through your brain like it’s on a rollercoaster! Take a page from the legendary lobster, strutting around with 350 million years of know-how.

Stand tall and let those shoulders beam like a superhero ready to conquer the day!

Expedience is the following of blind impulse.

It’s short-term gain.

It’s narrow, and selfish.

It lies to get its way.

It takes nothing into account.

It’s immature and irresponsible.

People go on from one guru to another, from one master to another, from one temple to another – not because they are great seekers but because they are incapable of decision.

So they go from one to another. This is their way to avoid commitment.

The same happens in other human relationships: a man goes from one woman to another, goes on changing.

People think he is a great lover; he is not a lover at all.

He is avoiding, he is trying to avoid any deep involvement because with deep involvement problems have to be faced, and much pain has to be gone through.

So one simply plays safe; one makes it a point never to go too deeply into somebody.

If you go too deep you may not be able to come back easily.

And if you go deeply into somebody, somebody else will go deeply into you also; it is always proportionate.

If I go very deep in you the only way is to allow you also to go that deep in me.

It is a give and take, it is a sharing. Then one may get entangled too much, and it will be difficult to escape and the pain may be much.

So people learn how to play safe: just let surfaces meet – hit-and-run love affairs.
Before you are caught, run.

This is what is happening in the modern world. People have become so juvenile, so childish; they are losing all maturity.

Maturity comes only when you are ready to face the pain of your being; maturity comes only when you are ready to take the challenge. And there is no greater challenge than love.

To live happily with another person is the greatest challenge in the world.
It is very easy to live peacefully alone, it is very difficult to live peacefully with somebody else, because two worlds collide, two worlds meet…totally different worlds.

How are they attracted to each other? Because they are totally different, almost opposite, polar opposites.

It is very difficult to be peaceful in a relationship, but that is the challenge.

If you escape from that, you escape from maturity. If you go into it with all the pain, and still continue going into it, then by and by the pain becomes a blessing, the curse becomes a blessing.

By and by, through the conflict, the friction, crystallization arises. Through the struggle you become more alert, more aware.

The other becomes like a mirror to you. You can see your ugliness in the other. The other provokes your unconscious, brings it to the surface.

You will have to know all hidden parts of your being and the easiest way is to be mirrored, reflected, in a relationship.

Easier, I call it, because there is no other way – but it is hard. It is hard, arduous, because you will have to change through it.

And when you come to a Master an even greater challenge exists before you: you have to decide, and the decision is for the unknown, and the decision has to be total and absolute, irreversible.

It is not a child’s game; it is a point of no return. So much conflict arises. But don’t go on continuously changing, because this is the way to avoid yourself. And you will remain soft, you will remain babyish. Maturity will not happen to you…

Only the unknown should have a call for you because that you have not yet lived; you have not moved in that territory. Move! Something new may happen there.

Always decide for the unknown, whatsoever the risk, and you will grow continuously.

But go on deciding for the known and you move in a circle with the past again and again.
You go on repeating it; you have become a gramophone record.

And decide. The sooner you can do so, the better. Postponement is simply stupid.

Tomorrow you will also have to decide, so why not today?

And do you think that tomorrow you will be wiser than today?

Do you think that tomorrow you will be livelier than today?

Do you think that tomorrow you will be younger than today, fresher than today?

Tomorrow you will be older, your courage will be less; tomorrow you will be more experienced, your cunningness will be more; tomorrow death will come closer; you will start wavering and being more afraid.
Never postpone for the tomorrow.

And who knows? Tomorrow may come or may not come. If you have to decide you have to decide right now.

– Osho

TREAT YOURSELF LIKE YOUR MOST PRECIOUS PET!

Sure, you can lead a horse to water, but good luck getting it to sip!

Life is a dramatic rollercoaster — like the heart-wrenching tale of losing your dad versus that cold, clinical note in the hospital records.

It’s the bittersweet sting of first love, the gut-punch of shattered dreams, and the soaring joy when your kid nails it!

Now, chaos?

Oh, that’s the wild frontier of ignorance! It’s the unexplored jungle full of surprises — the lurking stranger, that spooky rustle in the bushes, or the monster hiding under your bed!

It’s the gut-wrenching betrayal and the emotional tornado when life crumbles — dreams go poof, careers implode, and relationships hit the skids.

It’s the mythical underworld where dragons guard their treasures, and you find yourself utterly lost in the chaos of not knowing. On the flip side, order is your trusty map through the maze.

It’s the age-old hierarchy of life, the cosy structure of society, and the comforting embrace of family and home.

Think of it as the warm glow of a fireplace while kids giggle nearby, the national flag waving proudly, and the reliable rhythm of your daily planner.

Order is everything that keeps the world spinning smoothly — the polite smiles of strangers and the thin ice we all skate on.

It’s where life meets our expectations and dreams come true!

Venturing from chaos to order is the ultimate quest for any puppet wanting to break free from the strings of deceit, impulsiveness, and totalitarian vibes.

It’s about stepping into authenticity and truly living.

Let’s Affirm:

Stop letting other people’s opinions write your story!

It’s time to flip the script to one that screams empowerment and dances to the beat of your dreams.

So, let that sink in and strut your fabulous self!

It’s time to grab what you want and claim what you truly deserve!

Channel your inner ghostbuster and soak up wisdom from the spectral squad and the echoes of yesteryears!

I thank you and I love you and we are all in this together! xo, In love & light, Lynnie