By Lynnie Stein / November 22, 2019

Stay Alone

Breakups don’t have to leave you shattered. Stay alone until you find someone who protects your happiness.

They don’t have to rob you of the fulfilling romantic future, you so richly deserve.

Make yourself immune to the pain of rejection.

It is best to roll solo than to be with someone spending your time and energy just for the sake of being in a relationship.

Don’t give your heart to someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you.

Stay single until you find someone who protects your happiness.

Are you still missing a partner after what seems like an eternity?

Are you a unicorn / soulfully sensitive ?

Unicorn meaning a rare find.

It is someone a partner will be exclusively dating … really amazing, awesome beings. It’s the short way of saying, “you are sexy, gorgeous, intelligent, kind, witty, funny, fun to be around” etc.… it simple means … we are really into you and will be loyal and very loving.

Another way of describing, is a soulfully sensitive being with incredible imaginations, always writing movies in our minds.

Truly, fantasies are Oscar-worthy.

Being infinitely creative, empathetic, and wildly romantic. The problem is the imagination can work against self care—building and creating “castles in the air” including getting all caught up in someone who’s completely wrong.

Whether it was a two-year relationship or two dates or a pattern of texting and calls. A soulfully sensitive sensual person can have problems getting past it.

You want so much to believe a certain person is the hero that you refuse to see them as anything but, even though the behavior can at times be appalling.

You replay EVERYTHING—from how you met and the incredible chemistry you felt to the crushing finale when they slipped away.

It was strange how you found out, one moment you didn’t know, the next minute you did.

And you can remember the exact words said at all the critical points along the way, as if your mind were a cruel little computer that plays memories in an endless loop to torture you.

Sometimes, they admit, after the breakup, they turned up just to torment you !!!

Yikes…(cue the sound of crashing cars about now.)

You’ve told the “story” so many times to your besties that they can’t believe you’re still talking about this.

They tell you they didn’t deserve you. Move on and be thankful they tell you.

Sometimes, YOU can’t believe you’re still talking about it. And remembering the good times. And avoiding places you went together. Special places like your favorite restaurant or the camping spot is now to be avoided at all costs.

You’re sick of it, you’re tired, exhausted, and you want relief. You don’t want to keep obsessing.

But, somehow, it feels like you can’t do anything about it. As if your response is out of your control.
Why you take things Oh So Hard !!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times:

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just more sensitive than most people

We ALL have our strengths and weaknesses…

Soulfully sensual sensitive peeps have a greater capacity for emotion and diving deep into life. When it comes to breakups or romantic disappointment, you’ll tend to agonize and analyze much more than others. You process and process like nobody’s business.

This is because you “externalize,” meaning you think whatever is happening out there is a reflection of you.

So you’re always asking yourself things like:

“How can I make my life better?”

“How is this my fault?”

“Did I do something to push the relationship away?”

When someone is in a bad mood or just “off,” you immediately conclude it must be because of something you said or did, and you want to fix it—now.

In essence, you HATE feeling disconnected.

Breakups Are The Ultimate “Fix It” Project For You

Since you can’t stand emotional disconnection, breakups feel just terrible…

How can someone you felt so bonded with—and physically connected to—just be out of your life?

This makes no sense to your brain, even if you KNOW it wasn’t a healthy relationship. Your innate need for connection overrides your intellect and keeps you stuck trying to figure a way out of this hell.

And, here’s the kicker—your deep desire for relationship and connection means that as long as you stay stuck, it’s almost as if you’re still having a relationship with them.

Get it? You’re keeping the connection alive in a warped way. Even though they are no longer in the picture, your over-active imagination and strong feelings trick you into feeling you’re not alone.

And then, to make matters worse, keeping your heart and mind stuck on this old connection means you’ll sit on a shelf, not dating or meeting anyone else. You’re simply not available for another relationship. And being a Soulfully sensitive Unicorn, you never cheat.

Release The Past And Fly Into Your Amazing Future

Now, this might seem all doomsday. How can you cope as a soulfully sensitive being? How can you move through this life without being on a roller-coaster of emotion?

How can you ever hope to get off the dating treadmill and fall into the arms of the one person who will adore you for eternity, if you can’t seem to get unstuck from that one person from your past?

Being soulfully sensitive may seem like a curse.

But it’s actually an incredible blessing!

Like everything, it can work for you or against you. You just have to learn how to use it in your favor.

When it’s working against you, it can knock your confidence and make you feel like you’ll never get things right, robbing you of all motivation to date.

But when it’s working FOR you, you can channel all that sensitivity and the gift of connection into living your best life and creating the epic romance you were born for.

Shift the negative internal thoughts from the painful “it’s my fault & I did something wrong” to thoughts that are more loving to yourself. Ask! What are the possible reasons for them to of walked away. * They were afraid of conflict, afraid of being wrong, afraid of rejection, afraid of difference in education, food and music, knowing they were never good enough for a Unicorn, afraid to face up to past hurts. It may be easier for them to get angry and leave rather than deal with themselves.

* I am sad they have choose to close off, but I have run into this closed heart before. The behavior is telling me this friendship isn’t going to go anywhere. * I see this is hurting due to not being loving to themselves.

So I will send loving thoughts and blessings. I know this is not about me.

While you may feel sad and hurt that the friendship is over, or deep sorrow over your friends lack of self love, or even regret over your own behavior.

You will not feel rejected because you are not responsible for the behavior personally you know they are rejecting their own inner child (true self) rather than rejecting you, so there isn’t any reason to feel rejected.

Rejoice!!

That is one way to make yourself more immune to painful rejection.

The second way is more effective + far more important.

Because it involves BEING more loving to yourself

YOU WILL NEVER TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY AGAIN

Many peeps, especially Soulfully sensual sensitive Unicorns, don’t understand how to be loving to ourselves.

Often mistaken for being selfish or self-indulgent. Or in the case of being rejected by someone, soothing ourselves with self-righteousness.

Being loving to oneself means valuing your essence and being devoted to getting to know yourself and listen to what brings you JOY!!

It involves …

Being open to exploring all the false beliefs that lead to pain

Anything that doesn’t bring JOY .. discard

Say YES to kindness!!!
Listen to your body’s wisdom
Trust your gut if it feels wrong – it probably is

The body isn’t a physical object but a state of constant change.

The concept of attraction

Attracting peeps into your life can sometimes feel like its mystical and unexplained, however, the reality is we choose what we manifest in our thoughts.

Stop attracting narcissistic peeps into your life.

Heart breakers 

Narcissists will keep coming back in different shapes and forms until we learn what we need to learn from them.

We don’t need to repair broken peeps. Because they need to repair the cracks. A Soulfully sensitive child unicorn will bring home injured animals and do everything to heal them. Don’t continue the pattern with your grown-up relationships.

If I can reach just one person this banging at the keyboard will help me as much as you. Emotional abuse can be worse than physical. With physical you can see the broken body.. bones and teeth etc., however, the emotional along with the physical breaks the mind and soul.

I will be forever grateful if this message can reach to anyone living in a toxic relationship or recovering from a toxic person.

We feel a deep need to fill a gap inside of ourselves, believing it can only come from someone else.

We may be the most vulnerable, open, caring and loving peeps on the planet. However, the deep inside wounds need to be healed in order to begin attracting people who will respect, honor and love.

You may have experienced lack of love from one or both parents as a young child, creating a need to settle for anyone who will show love and attention.

Are you vulnerable and give everything you can until your health, finances and mental health have gone?

Fear of abandonment, Fear of rejection, Fear of being Alone, Fear of not being wanted and desired

Remove the love hurdles that are stopping you from seeing the inside of yourself. You deserve it!

It only takes a few seconds to hurt someone. Sometimes it takes years to repair the damage. Cherish the hearts that love you.

Accept the fact that you are saying goodbye to the old relationship.

That relationship ended for a reason, so look forward and focus on having a new and healthier connection in the future.

It’s gone, and that’s a good thing!

NO CONTACT is good after a break up. If you reach back out without addressing and fixing the issues that lead to the breakup in the first place, a re connection will just lead to another, more permanent break up.

First, work on yourself and develop healthier relationship skills before you invite first contact. We don’t need to be needy.

Downstairs business

A soulfully sensitive person can be easily manipulated. Past history can repeat as a soulfully sensitive person always wants to please and maybe looking so hard for love.

A toxic person is good at pretending it is love.

SEX Sensual ENERGY eXchange

As your temple (body) will be taking in the energy of another being … the energy must be the proper fit. The narcissistic peeps are experts at convincing you to exchange way too soon. 8-10 meetings are a good start before sexual pleasures are part of the new relationship.

Online dating is the disco, pub or club of the old days.

A great aspect is you can choose the type of relationship you want be it committed or casual, with someone with similar desires and goals.

Online dating does have its downsides.

It brings out a lot of nasty-pasty peeps with past history and convincing words through keyboard communication.

If they don’t share a sexy telephone voice … put your running shoes on!

You share your profile and some are good at responding with what sounds too good to be true!

Texting communication sucks… great for one liners … good morning sunshine, sweet dreams beautiful.

and so, people do move on. Look after your mental health, rejection is common and shouldn’t be taken too much to heart. It takes a lot of time, staying in touch, texting etc., so people do move on. It can be frustrating when peeps just disappear or change their minds. My advice is move on if that happens, as that person wasn’t right for you, and there will be someone more suitable out there. Don’t waste your energy on something that never was or could be. Take your time, don’t rush into meeting someone from the first message. Always meet for the first time in a public place and don’t be tempted to go any further than a coffee or a meal or a walk. Put it out to the universe what you desire and more importantly deserve.

Online dating is a lolly shop with so much choice

Tell yourself many times a day …

I need someone who deserves ALL I AM & ALL I HAVE TO GIVE

In everything I do I take care of myself. I am deserving of love.

I need to feel special & loved every single day.

These should be our normal, everyday core beliefs about ourselves, and if they are the body will be aligned with them.

Many peeps have mixed beliefs or negative beliefs. Change your core beliefs, and your body will automatically follow.

I am OK
I am loving and lovable
I matter
I love myself
I am worthy
I am valuable
I am love
I have a great purpose
I radiate beauty
I have a gift to give to the world
I deserve to be happy
I am intelligent
I am safe and trusting
I am growing
I am healing
I am evolving
I am learning
I am giving
I am grateful
I am creating a better life for myself
I am fulfilled and whole

Self -Sabotage

We only create as much love, fulfilment, success and joy as we feel worthy of having.

Treat yourself

Act like you deserve to be taken care of — you do!!

Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself. What would you tell your child or bestie?

It is not selfish = self love.

Learn to love yourself first

Remember you can’t love until you love oneself.

Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into place.

Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.

The feeling of believing we are loved enough affects everything we do – our jobs, relationships and our opinion of ourselves.

Count your blessings

It’s like saying to the Universe, “Thank you! I’ll have some more of that, please!”

Be grateful they left … you deserve to be loved by a special person.

Start spending time with the right peeps … make dates with your friends, go for massage / manicure and pedicure appointments, movie nights, etc.

Start making happiness a priority

Let go of self-limiting behaviors

Make life uncomplicated … simple living

The voice in our head can be our worst enemy.

We wallow in the hurtful event of our past and by default, we create a sad and disheartening daily existence.

We choose to let go of the past otherwise we will keep repeating the same relationship mistakes.

It is not your fault if papa or mama bear left when you were young or they bashed one and other from alcohol abuse. Or previous partners cheated on you. Let the hurt go or you will never be able to fully commit.

Did they cheat on you?

Maybe you remember the very first time as a child you were exposed to the concept of a “cheating parent.”

It’s certainly nothing I heard discussed around the dinner table.

I remember watching episodes of The Jerry Springer Show in the 1990s and hearing scandalous stories about people cheating on each other, or cheating with the best friend’s husband, or with their stepdaughter, or whatever bizarre headline Jerry could come up with.

Growing up, you sometimes get the feeling that’s what “bat-shit crazy people” do. Certainly, nothing like that ever happens close to home.

At some point, however, you learn that cheating is not all as simple as they make it sound like.

Concepts of “once a cheater always a cheater” and “if you loved me you would never cheat on me!” are challenged with varying degrees of problems, more complex emotions, and dare I say, even flaws and disorders that prevent people from being their “best.”

Cheating and telling porky pies (lies / excuses) is a flaw that may or may not be forgivable in your own case.

Our gut reaction says that cheating is fundamentally wrong, a betrayal, one that signifies the end of a relationship. Unicorns never cheat or tell untruths and find excuses the lowest act – excuses are the biggest sign of weakness. Remember lies are nothing to do with you it is there past issues.

If you cheated, please don’t blame your partner. Take responsibility, get curious about the root of the issue and get help to work through it. There was a reason you were unfaithful, even if you don’t know what it was yet. If you can’t understand the reason and fix it at the core, it is sure to happen again.

Our thoughts / our mind

If you are unhappy in your life, change your thoughts and you will alter your destiny. The problem is most negative thinkers do not believe there is anything wrong with them. And the fault is always somebody else. They blame their partner for problems … It takes 2 to tango.

Date with Destiny

Remember … you were created for a special purpose. Your life is intended to have special meaning. You deserve a partner who will love, respect and honor you.

Life is going to give us challenges

Void drives relationships

If it is to be … it is up to me (change thought patterns)

The universe is speaking … often I get goosebumps

Be in a safe place .. to be in peace of mind

The path of self discovery .. what I believe I achieve. Repeat that until you believe it

FEAR .. false evidence appearing real

Service to yourself and others

Before we serve anyone else I will serve myself. Including our children… when on a plane, you are told in an emergency to put the oxygen mask on first before putting the mask on your child

When I blame I cannot heal

Life is always going to give a challenge

Nothing is random

Master time .. the more time we spend, the more energy required

When the why is big enough the how takes care of itself

The bigger the why the higher you fly like a kite

Do the work for yourself, not for your ex or with the hope of reuniting. Changes will never stick if they aren’t made for the right reasons. So even if you do get back in the relationship, those old habits will creep right back in once you get comfortable again

Live our love

Life is temporary… we come into life with nothing and leave with nothing… possessions are not important.. Love is the answer

I am not impressed by your money, toys, position or title. I am impressed by how you treat others

It is not what you say who makes you who you are … it is what you do

Life is a miracle

The meaning of life is to find your gift
The purpose of your life is to give it away
However, in order to give away your gift, someone must receive it … your LOVE

It is the space between 2 people and not the absence. There for that is a relationship

You learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together. (Anthony Bourdain)

Let go of the old crap

The challenge isn’t the new things we have to learn, but the old stuff we have to un-learn

Projection … Mindfulness and Meditation

We all have issues, as well as undesirable qualities or traits that we don’t like about ourselves. Most of us realize that we are not perfect and that it is natural to have unpleasant thoughts, motivations, desires, or feelings. However, when a person does not acknowledge these, they may ascribe those characteristics to someone else, deeming other people instead as angry, needy, jealous, or insecure. In psychological terms, such blaming and fault finding is called projection.

When we are the target of projections, it can be confusing and frustrating, not to mention maddening, particularly when we know that we are not the cause of another person’s distress.

While we can try to avoid people we know who engage in projecting their “stuff” onto others, we can’t always steer clear of such encounters. We can, however, deflect some projections through mindfulness and meditation.

A useful visualization tool is to imagine wrapping ourselves in a protective light everyday. At other times, we may have to put up a protective shield when we feel a projection coming our way, reminding ourselves that someone else’s issues are not ours. We all know that it’s not fun to be dumped on. Likewise, we should be mindful that we don’t take our own frustrations out on others. When we take ownership of our thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings, we are less likely to project our issues or disowned qualities onto others.

I had 7 years being single… without a date (by choice).. some of the best years of my life. When you learn to live alone you learn so much about yourself.

Journal your wants, write it down and visualize it ..

I need a very special person… loving, committed, loyal

To hold me tight
To listen to my dreams
To share your dreams
To protect my happiness
To want me like no one else for eternity

Having someone to hold my hand in public
Having someone I can tell every detail of my day without feeling like I am clingy, needy or boring
The simple things …

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It is not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.

Stay alone until you find someone who protects your happiness …

AND AFTER THEY HAD EXPLORED ALL OF THE STARS IN THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF THE PLANETS AROUND EACH SUN, THEY REALISE THEY WERE ALONE, AND THEY WERE GLAD.
BECAUSE THEY NOW KNEW THEY WOULD HAVE TO BECOME ALL OF THE THINGS THEY HAD HOPED TO FIND.

— Lanford Wilson

I wish you every success on your journey. Xxoo Lynnie

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© 2021 Lynnie Stein