To cultivate a fulfilling relationship, focus on building a foundation of trust, effective communication, shared values, respect, and empathy. These traits, combined with open-mindedness, a willingness to compromise, and appreciation for both partner and oneself, are key to fostering a healthy and satisfying relationship. Find the one you trust and build an empire! Even on the days you question, you will trust each other. Do things together and grow together or do things apart and grow apart. The best advice my gran ever gave me.

Oh, we’re having a weekly sit-down, period. Or if long distance we will arrange a weekly communicating time.

Once a week, no distractions—just me and you, face-to-face, heart-to-heart.

We’re gonna talk about US.

How we’ve been feeling, what’s going good, what needs work, what we both need more of, and what we should stop doing.

Because too many relationships fail from lack of communication, and I’m not letting that happen again.

We’re going to normalize checking in—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically.

We’re going to ask each other, “How can I love you better this week?”

“What did I do that made you feel unheard?” “What can we work on as a team?”

Because love isn’t just about the good times—its about growth, understanding, accountability, consistency and effort. I want us to be intentional.

I want us to build something that’s unshakable…unbreakable.

The most important decision we make is the partner we choose to share our life with. They impact: our daily habits, our mindset, our ability to be ourselves, and our overall health.

And you’d be surprised what just one real conversation a week can do for a relationship.

Its not about being perfect—its about being present. Together. For real. No unrealistic expectations. No unhealed childhood trauma. Just two humans who come together and bring the best out in each other.

An immediate sign someone has unresolved childhood trauma: inconsistent behaviour or being “mysterious” makes them even more interested.

When you grow up with inconsistent caregivers, you learn that love is inconsistent.

You learn a bunch of strategies to find safety in that inconsistent love, including trying to anticipate and read what people are thinking and feeling.

When someone is inconsistent, it feels like home. We may even feel a sense of proudness over using our skills to be able to understand, and shame when we don’t.

We start to believe our lovability comes from anticipating needs.

When a person has an avoidant attachment style, their deep fear is emotional intimacy.

They’ve learned to cope with this fear through becoming hyper-independent.

This was necessary for childhood survival. But, it creates many issues in adult relationships— where interdependence is needed for a relationship to be healthy.

They also have 3 main traits:

1. They deeply fear conflict (conflict avoidant)

2. They perceive things thought a level of personal attack (high shame)

3. The sharing of emotions overwhelms them and often creates a flee response (“I need space”)

This pattern will spill into the way they avoid dealing with finances, work situations, or anything else that brings up shame.

We learn how to be in relationships based on the first relationships we see in our families.

They model what behaviour we accept, what role we play, and what type of person we subconsciously seek. A good way to know if you need healing from family dynamics is if you find yourself in relationships that are unhealthy. Relationships are repetition. Change the familiar into the unfamiliar.

Sexual chemistry and attraction are good things. Unfortunately, most of us haven’t processed our childhood trauma. This can make us attracted to the very traits that caused the trauma.

Your relationship patterns will give you a first hand look at what’s gone unhealed.

Here are some examples:

A woman grows up in a home with a mother who is very emotionally distant. She provides all of the basics and does nothing ‘obviously’ traumatic. Her coldness becomes normal, and the child stops seeking connection from her.

She finds attraction with a partner who’s highly emotionally distant. The partner’s lack of connection is perceived as love. Oh wait, that’s me 😉

Here’s another: a woman has a loving father, but he’s inconsistent.

Financially, he cannot make ends meet. He goes from job to job and provides little assistance at home. She sees her mother stressed from this, but she is fiercely protective of her father because he is not hyper critical like her mother. She will be attracted to a partner who seems spontaneous, eclectic, and non-dependable. A stable partner will be of no sexual interest.

A woman has a critical father.

He has a successful career but drinks alcohol often and unleashes even more criticism after drinking.

She’s acutely aware that he’s unfaithful and selfish in having his needs met before the needs of his family. She will be attracted to a partner who has material success and commitment or substance use issues. Likely both.

She will not see his criticism for what it is: emotional abuse.

She will see this as affection.

Observe your patterns. Become conscious to the traits you find sexually attractive. They’re teachers, and window to your past.

Forget the endless quest for Mr. or Ms. Perfect—how about snagging a partner who’s a perfect puzzle piece?

Team up as two dynamic dynamos, pledging to turbocharge each other into the best versions of yourselves!

Picture a bond where you decode each other’s quirks, dream up wild possibilities together, and guard each other’s joy like a dragon hoarding treasure.

The real magic lies not in what dazzles the eyes, but in what tingles the mind and heart.

Instead of eye candy, feast your soul on a brainy buffet!

Hunt for someone who’s got the compassion of a saint and the understanding of a wise old sage.

The ultimate connection is a mind-bending mystery tour only the two of you can crack.

But hey, a flourishing relationship needs a triple treat: brainy, heart-y, and, let’s be honest, a dash of chemistry!

That’s when your soul does a happy dance. Sure, those good looks are nice, but a mind that’s ready to explore the cosmos?

That’s the real prize.

In the end, the dream team feeds every part of you, building a bond that’s deep, meaningful, and full of mutual admiration.

Find someone who loves your woowoo side, feeds off your vibes, and never dims your dazzle.

That’s when they get the best of you!