The way we chat about relationships is like a fashion trend – always evolving! Take the term “unicorn,” for instance. Nowadays, it’s not a mythical creature but an individual ready to dive into a couple’s world for some steamy fun! Now, fear not, our fabulous group of ladies over 50 and the gents who joined us to share some enlightening thoughts on the male parentified child! We’re all about that “one couple only” life – think exclusive dating or rocking the single life. This means we’re all in for monogamy, giving our hearts to just one lucky partner at a time.

Relationship lingo can be as varied as ice cream flavours, shaped by culture, beliefs, and where you hang your hat.

So, taking the time to decode these terms helps us communicate better about our relationship status, history, values, and how we connect with others – whether it’s now, back then, or in the exciting times ahead!

A…is for that electrifying feeling of being Alive!

You sprinkle a little life magic into every relationship, turning the ordinary into extraordinary.

Kick ANGER to the curb! Take a stroll down memory lane and think about how your folks handled their anger—spot any family resemblances in your reactions? Give yourself a pat on the back and a wink in the mirror!

ACCOUNTABILITY involves taking responsibility for your actions, words, and beliefs, especially concerning those that may cause harm or acting in a disablist way.

Now, let’s explore ATTACHMENT STYLES: these intriguing behaviour patterns formed during our early years with caregivers significantly shape our adult relationships. They generally fall into four categories: secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized.

AFFIRMATIONS: As you repeat your favourite daily affirmations, may you see your life transform in increasingly positive and uplifting ways. As the late wise Louise Hay shared, you truly have the power to heal your life!

The AVOIDANT dances like a cloaked superhero, concealing their needs and shunning assistance. The expression of one’s desires takes many forms; mere vocalization does not signify neediness.

ADDICTION is an attempt to soothe and avoid… substance abuse, food, gaming, pornography, shopping, alcohol etc. one pattern is clear: deep pain. This is why; addiction is an adaption. Not a choice.

A 2019 study revealed that childhood trauma significantly contributes to addiction and mental illness, emphasizing the need to heal our inner child through self-care, self-compassion, and new coping strategies. This reparenting journey is vital for recovery, as many individuals may seem sober while merely substituting one addiction for another. With adults often lacking effective coping mechanisms, addiction frequently arises. Developing emotional coping skills, awareness, and self-expression is essential for overcoming these challenges.

AUTHENTIC ALPHAS embody kindness, compassion, and emotional insight. Nurturing our sons to grasp their emotions cultivates empathy and compassion, vital ingredients for flourishing relationships.

If you wish to truly enjoy life, start by learning to APPRECIATE yourself, as you are the essence of life itself.

“What I truly desired was to experience my own love.”

You are deserving, yet ACKNOWLEDGING this can be tough when facing mistakes, comparisons, or negative thoughts. Remember, humans are meant for progress, not perfection. Embrace your authentic self, which is the foundation of your unique gifts. By being true to yourself, you can explore your potential, leading to creativity, joy, and resilience. Strength grows through struggle, affirming your worth and capability to achieve what seems impossible. Being present is crucial to uncovering your hidden gifts.

“If I’m worth something later, I’m worth something now.” – Vincent Van Gogh

“The only thing standing between you and great love is your belief in your worthiness of it.”

— Kristin Lohr

B …stands for Beliefs and Behaviours.

What core convictions do you hold regarding relationships, perceptions of the opposite sex, views on conflict and arguments, attitudes towards money, fidelity, honesty, and beyond? Delving into these truths will illuminate the depths of your Behaviour, revealing the forces that shape you. It also encompasses your background—your essence and that of the other. What experiences have forged their identity?

Beau/Boo/Bae:

Those adorably mushy nicknames that get sweeter (and cheesier) with every passing year!

Beige flags can add personality to a relationship. Embrace the weird—unless it gets too weird.

Now, let’s talk about bread-crumbing—it’s like a flirty game of emotional peek-a-boo!

You get just enough sweet texts and calls to keep you nibbling, but never enough to fill you up.

It’s the snack that never quite turns into a feast! Bread-crumbing is like a relationship diet that’s all confusion and no commitment, leaving you hungry for clarity. Those caught in this breadcrumb trap invest their time and heart into a relationship that’s more like a mirage than a commitment, leading to emotional chaos and trust issues. It’s like a rollercoaster ride without the thrill—just a bumpy road of mixed signals! So, here’s the scoop: let’s prioritize relationships that are built on honesty, consistency, and good old-fashioned mutual respect. Because nobody wants to be stuck in the breadcrumb zone!

BENCHING: It’s like keeping a spare tyre in your trunk—you’re not really ready for a road trip, but hey, it’s nice to have that option! So, you string them along for those “just-in-case” moments. Yikes!

You are NOT BROKEN! Toss those pesky self-doubts and limiting beliefs out the window! You are more than enough! Hypnotherapy is here to help you kick those dream-blocking gremlins like guilt, shame, trauma, anxiety, and that sneaky fear that makes you go mute. Let’s unleash the fabulous you!

Stop being your own worst critic! Step into that fabulous vision you have of yourself—seriously, why dwell on the mess? Strut through life like you’re the reigning queen of cool! Forget about those who lied, cheated, or tossed you aside; that’s yesterday’s news. It’s time to clean house, forgive, and release all that baggage. You’re not broken—if you’re 70, live like you’re rocking 40! Focus on the good vibes only, and if someone shows up with a whiff of negativity, just bless and release them. Remember, you attract what you put out, so let’s make it fabulous! What you focus on expands. Keep focusing on the bad – get more of it. Focus on the good – get more of it.

Boundaries are not mean…it is self respect. Always put what you want first! You know what you don’t like. You have to decide what is best for you. To get people to appreciate your YES, they must learn to respect your NO first.

“I would rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my BOUNDARIES to your disrespect.”

A BOUNDARY is a gate you place in front of another person with a written sign on it that says. “The price of passing is your change in behaviour. No change, no admittance.”

“Your suffering is never caused by the person you’re blaming.”

BLAME is an easy escape that traps individuals in false perceptions of suffering. While it’s tempting to attribute pain to others’ actions, true suffering arises from how we perceive and hold onto experiences. The mind creates narratives that assign fault, but shifting focus inward allows for personal empowerment and peace. No one controls others’ actions, but we control our responses and interpretations. Personal accountability means recognizing that while pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. Letting go of blame offers freedom and the opportunity to shape one’s life, finding real peace within oneself.

C how do you COMMUNICATE / weave your words?

Clearly? Honestly? Do you lend an ear more than you share your voice – or listen with intent before you express? Are you devoted to Commitment? What are your sentiments surrounding this bond?

How do you navigate Control? Is it a shadow that looms over your connections?

Commitment in relationships means being ready to face challenges together, with commonality fostering connection despite differences. Confidence in each other is crucial, as is understanding chemistry beyond initial attraction, encompassing compatibility through various experiences. Navigating control and conflict constructively can strengthen bonds, while negative communication patterns can harm relationships. Courtesy involves self-discipline, respect, and compassion, especially during conflicts, emphasizing the need for consistency in actions for a strong relationship.

The CONNECTION between two people is a profound union that transcends physical interaction, intertwining hearts and minds through shared experiences. This bond deepens as individuals empathize with each other’s joys and sorrows. The body acts as a vessel for the soul, with touch expressing emotions beyond words. Ultimately, this EXTRAORDINARY CONNECTION blends physical presence with soulful understanding, allowing individuals to unite in spirit while appreciating their unique essence.

Navigating relationships can be challenging when dealing with CPTSD, as your brain is wired for survival rather than connection. Trust doesn’t come easily, leading to overthinking, withdrawal, or self-sabotage to prevent being hurt by others. Triggers can emerge unexpectedly, causing you to react based on past experiences instead of the present moment. You long for love yet simultaneously fear it, feeling drained from having to explain what triggers you. Guilt may arise from needing reassurance, shutting down, or not being perceived as “easy” to love. The fear of abandonment looms large. However, here’s the reality: You are deserving of love. The right individuals will recognize your struggles and choose to stay.

Healing doesn’t require perfection; it involves allowing love to enter your life, even when it feels intimidating. Beyond that fear lies the potential for a truly beautiful and safe relationship.

“A flower does not CHASE the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.” 🌺

Nature imposes nothing upon us. The feminine, in her truest essence, does not chase; instead, she flows, blooms, opens, and radiates. A flower never squanders its energy yearning for the bee, longing for its presence, or devising manipulative tactics to attract it. Rather, the flower focuses on one thing: blossoming. It directs its energy inward, drawing on its innate power—absorbing nutrients from the soil, basking in the sunlight, and unapologetically revealing itself to the world. The flower’s singular purpose is to express itself in its fullest form—blooming in its own time and in its unique manner, without seeking validation. In this powerful state of surrender, the flower naturally attracts the bee. The bee is drawn to the flower not because it chased after the bee, but because the flower exists authentically. 🌷🐝

This embodies the essence of genuine attraction: being entirely yourself, fully aligned with your purpose and essence, so that what you desire from a soulful place is naturally drawn to you. Keep in mind: the mind pursues the desires of the ego from a standpoint of lack and need. Conversely, the heart magnetizes the desires of the soul from a perspective of fullness and abundance.

D …“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” often falters in the realm of relationships! Partners yearn for actions that resonate with their own desires. And remember, cultivate romance with regular dates, even after the vows are exchanged!

“Devaluing” in a relationship is like throwing a rain cloud over your partner’s sunshine! It’s that pesky habit of constantly undermining, belittling, or brushing aside their thoughts and feelings, making them feel like a speck of dust on the couch. This can seriously tank their self-esteem! It often comes hand-in-hand with narcissistic behaviour, where one partner plays the role of the adoring fan before flipping the script to become the ultimate critic. Talk about a dramatic plot twist!

DTR (Define That Relationship): Are you all in, just chilling, or caught in a heart-shaped web? It’s time to slap a label on that romance ride (even if it makes you dizzy)! Dating in the Age of Social Media: Sliding into DMs — the ultimate move to take your shot! It could be adorable or awkward or cringe-worthy, and it all hinges on your approach!

E …How much Energy and Enthusiasm do you possess? These sparkling traits are heralded as vital elements of irresistible allure. How Exciting are you, and what zest do you infuse into your relationship? Does your Ego cast shadows upon the light of love? How much Effort do you invest in keeping your partner enchanted— or have you grown complacent, allowing the magic to fade?

Empathy and Compassion: Studies have shown that animal lovers tend to have more empathy and compassion, which can spill over into their human interactions.

EMPATHS intensely feel others’ emotions, often at their own expense, making them vulnerable to manipulation and toxic behaviours. Their desire to help can blind them to signs of toxicity, making boundary-setting essential. Learning to say no and prioritizing their own needs is crucial for empaths. Establishing healthy boundaries protects their emotional well-being and prevents energy depletion, allowing them to maintain their own emotional health.

F …Embrace Friendship First! This cherished bond sustains relationships far longer than mere lust! Delve into each other’s worlds, pose endless questions, and revel in shared moments. Acknowledge your Fears and confront them together. Let the spirit of Fun reign supreme! Remember, the joy often slips away when life’s burdens—financial strains, children, and mortgages—loom large. Instead, cherish the blessings in your life and relationship, choosing to bask in the positivity rather than lingering on the shadows.

FREEDOM: Do you want to understand the essence of true freedom? It’s that moment when something that once frightened you no longer holds any FEAR. Embrace the Power of No: TRUE FREEDOM comes when you can say NO without needing to provide an explanation.

Let’s get real about FEELINGS!

It’s important to express feelings honestly, such as saying “that hurt” or “I don’t want to.” I used to suppress my emotions, but now I’m focusing on openness and vulnerability in relationships. Instead of clinging to people, I embrace the idea of cherishing our time together without fear of loss. Life’s lessons have taught me to value the present and to share my true feelings, even if it may lead to goodbyes. This journey is about evolving through trust and authenticity, creating loving connections, and prioritizing peace over conflict in our interactions.

G …Generosity and Goodwill shall be your guiding stars through tempestuous times. Extend the gift of understanding to others—and be kind to yourself—fostering a spirit rich in warmth and compassion, transcending mere monetary offerings. Nurture Growth in unison. As the tapestry of your life unfurls, dare to venture into new realms, embracing adventure and sharing wondrous experiences.

“I let GO of the stories that no longer serve me”.

The past is a school to learn from and not a prison to be trapped in.

GHOSTING 👻 casts a shadow when one abruptly ceases all communication, often without forewarning or reason. This phenomenon can emerge in romantic entanglements, friendships, or professional realms. The act of ghosting can leave souls feeling disrespected, disposable, or diminished in worth. Emotional abuse: Some healers of the mind perceive ghosting as a passive-aggressive manifestation of emotional cruelty.

A “Gut Instinct” in relationships is like your inner superhero, swooping in with strong, sneaky feelings about someone—good or bad! It’s that little voice (or maybe a loud alarm bell) nudging you about compatibility, red flags, or cosy vibes you might not see right away. While it doesn’t always hit the bullseye, this instinct can be your trusty sidekick when tackling the roller coaster of love!

GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) – and no, we’re not talking about the furry farm friend! This term is all about crowning your ultimate partner or relationship as the all-time champ! 🐐✨

Green Flag The opposite of a red flag. These are positive signs that someone is emotionally healthy and relationship-ready. Look for green flags. They’re what make a relationship worth it.

H …Embrace Happiness!

Revel in the joy within yourself and in the dance of life, radiating your bliss to those around you. Practice Honesty—with yourself and others, and shower your loved ones with Heartfelt Hugs—a simple magic that uplifts everyone’s spirit and strengthens immunity.

Ho’oponopono, a powerful tool for releasing negativity and achieving inner peace. Forgiveness allows you to let go of past pain without excusing bad behaviour, helping you overcome guilt. Embrace your unique qualities to foster self-love and acceptance, which enables you to love others without judgment. Compassion is essential for lasting love, as no one is perfect. Wear your self-care crown and be a positive influence in your relationships!

I …Intimacy is the secret sauce of a lasting partnership!

And it’s not just about the physical – it’s about creating a snug little fort where you both can spill your deepest secrets. Keep a special little corner of your heart just for them, so they feel like the VIP in your life.

Stay intriguing – keep your life buzzing with fun and adventure, because no one wants to snooze through a chat after a long day! Live with Integrity – be true to yourself and others, and always stick to those values.

J …is for Joyful!

Dance through your day like nobody’s watching, even if life’s not a fairy tale – hey, you’re alive and the sun is shining! Team up for joint activities – play sports, take sailing lessons, or just go on a food adventure together or travel sensational solo. Get out there and Just Do It!

K …Be Kind to each other and yourself!

We’re often sweet as pie to strangers but turn into grumpy bears at home. Remember, it’s okay to chillax, but don’t forget to sprinkle a little kindness around! Be the kindest person you know and leave everyone you meet better.

L …Listen to each other – and I mean really listen!

Don’t just wait for your turn to talk; ask, “What does this person truly need from me?”

And as Stephen Covey says, “Listen with your eyes for feelings.”

LAUGH often! Lighten the mood and don’t take life too seriously – it’s a wild ride! LOVE yourself and each other with zero conditions. Keep LEARNING – it’s the spice of life! Learning helps you grow, keeps you interesting, and fills your world with wonder.

The phrase “there’s a LIE in believe” intrigues because it connects concepts of truth, trust, and faith. Believing involves embracing an idea while also validating its truthfulness. In contrast, a lie deceives by presenting falsehoods as truth. The hidden “lie” in “believe” serves as a reminder that deception can exist even in belief, encouraging us to look beyond these lies and focus on the broader themes of trust and faith.

Love bombing is like a sneaky emotional magician’s trick!

Love bombing involves showering affection to gain your trust, making you feel like the centre of attention. However, as the relationship develops, they may undermine your self-worth and manipulate you into compromising your boundaries to regain their affection. This is particularly damaging for those seeking love and attention. Emotional abuse is insidious, lacking visible signs, and can create an environment of fear and control, leading you to question your concerns. Promises of a bright future often mask the reality of manipulation and control.

Love bombing is a big ol’ red flag, signalling a storm of escalating psychological and physical chaos ahead!

LONER alert! Sometimes, flying solo is just a clever disguise for a trauma response. You’ve been let down by those you adore or maybe you grew up dodging the drama in a toxic circus. So, who’s the reliable sidekick in this story? You! That’s why cosying up to your own company feels like wrapping yourself in a warm, fuzzy blanket of safety!

In authentic romance, LOVE should flow effortlessly, without needing to plead for gestures like phone calls. Genuine love is freely given, not earned through sacrifice. Individuals desire partners who appreciate them without requiring performance. Everyone deserves uplifting love that celebrates their true selves. The focus should be on waiting for mutual, sincere love rather than chasing or settling, nurturing hope for its arrival.

M is for Magic Moments that slip away each day, and we often forget them faster than a magician’s trick! Keep a journal to jot down those golden memories. When times get tough, flip through it and feel your spirits lift! Treat yourself to a weekly massage to melt away stress – and throw in some mutual massages for good measure! Make Memories! Create those unforgettable experiences that’ll become the gems of your life together. Live out your wildest fantasies, because why not?

Manipulation in a relationship is like pulling strings from behind the curtain, using sneaky tactics to twist your partner’s feelings, thoughts, or actions for personal gain. It’s the shady stuff—think gaslighting, guilt trips, love bombs, the silent treatment, isolation, playing the victim card, and putting affection on ice—all aimed at exploiting vulnerabilities like a master puppeteer!

A MINDSET is like the VIP lounge of your brain, filled with your beliefs, attitudes, and expectations about yourself, your life, and the woowoo world spinning around you! It’s the fancy framework that shapes how you think, feel, and strut your stuff in the grand performance of life!

N… Non-verbal communication is like a superhero in disguise—way mightier than you think!

Those words you toss around? They only make up a measly 7% of the message! So, watch out for those sneaky thoughts—whatever’s swirling in your brain is being broadcasted to the other person like a bad reality show! You might think you’re pulling off a poker face while secretly judging them, but guess what? They totally see through it! So, treat yourself, your partner, and that precious relationship with a little TLC—it’s the secret sauce to keep the love alive and kicking!

Narcissists? They’re not your soulmates; they’re like wolves in sheep’s clothing!

Grasping this is key to your healing journey. The person you encountered at the end? That was the real deal, unmasked! Behind their dazzling charm and smooth talk was a master manipulator, luring you in with shiny false promises and fake feelings. All the while, they were feasting on your emotional energy, gnawing at your self-worth like a rat at a cheese platter! What you went through wasn’t love; it was a toxic rollercoaster where each day felt like a fight for survival. Their gaslighting and emotional blackmail were not love taps—they were power plays! Their betrayals and lack of empathy weren’t just blunders; they were calculated moves in their game of emotional chess. You didn’t just lose someone; you broke free from a toxic horror show! That escape? It took guts, strength, and a sprinkle of resilience.

Remember, narcissists can’t really love; they just play pretend to get their way!

Narcissists perceive physical intimacy as a means of exerting power rather than fostering connection. They regard sex as a form of possession and performance, seeking an ego boost rather than genuine intimacy. For them, intimacy serves as a tool for control and objectification. After engaging in sexual activity, narcissists feel suffocated by intimacy.

To heal, you need to own the truth: you weren’t loved; you were used—a mere battery in their selfish game. But now? You’re free to rediscover your fabulous self, embrace real love, and fill your life with purpose, joy, and authenticity! You deserve love that’s real, connections that are genuine, and relationships that are healthy! You deserve to be seen, heard, and cherished. So, don’t you dare settle for less! You are worthy of love, and trust me, it’ll come knocking when you least expect it!

O …Be Optimistic.

It makes you more fun to live with; boosts your immune system; reduces stress; and generally makes life easier. Openness in your communication reduces misunderstandings and conflict. Have interests Outside your normal routine.

Open relationship: You know, that moment when a couple decides it’s cool to swipe right on others while still cosying up to their main squeeze. Hard pass for me—I’ll stick to my one-and-only, thank you very much!

OVERTHINKING is the biggest waste of human energy. Trust yourself, make a decision, and gain more experience. There is no such thing as perfect. You cannot think your way into perfection. Just take action!

P …Politeness? It’s like a rare Pokémon we forget about in relationships!

We’re all charming to strangers, then turn into couch potatoes at home! Don’t forget to play together—it’s vital! Get your silly on and dive into games or sports; watch those bonding moments bloom! What’s your PRIORITY: work or home? Are your hobbies hogging all your “me-time,” leaving your relationship in the dust?

PATIENCE is your golden ticket to happiness, so give yourself and each other the green light to be your true selves and live by your own rules!

POCKETING: When someone keeps you hidden from their friends, family, or social media. It’s like you’re their little secret. If someone’s pocketing you, have a convo about it. You deserve to be shown off, not hidden.

PARTNER : This fabulous word is like a warm hug for anyone you’re sharing your heart with! Whether it’s love, romance, or just some serious emotional chemistry, “partner” fits the bill. Often, it teams up with other words to give you the scoop on what kind of partner we’re talking about. Check out these snazzy examples: romantic partner, sexual partner, partner for life, partner in love, parenting partner, partner in marriage. So many ways to define that special someone!

Q …Let’s crank up the quantity of our hangout time, not just the quality!

Because let’s face it, “quality time” can sometimes feel like a fancy way of saying “I’m too busy!” Every relationship needs those chill, laid-back moments where we just kick back together. That’s when the magic happens! Consistency is the secret sauce to everything in life.

R …Respect is the golden ticket for thriving relationships!

We’ve gotta respect ourselves first before we can sprinkle that respect on our partners or kiddos. It’s a basic human craving! Remember the awesome traits you admire in others? Keep those in your back pocket for those not-so-great moments. And let’s be real—where would love be without a sprinkle of effort? It takes intention; it doesn’t just magically appear!

Welcome to the zany universe of Relationship Anarchy—yep, that’s right, RA! This fantastic idea was cooked up by the genius Andie Nordgren. So, what’s the 411? It’s all about creating your own relationship rules and agreements, custom-made for you and your partner—no boring, one-size-fits-all romance here! Every relationship anarchist grooves to their own rhythm, flaunting unique terms and values. So, toss that rulebook aside and let love flow in whatever wild and wonderful direction you desire!

REBOUND! It’s that thrilling rollercoaster right after a relationship takes a nosedive or dramatically bows out. When we mention “rebound,” we’re usually talking about that lucky charm who’s just caught the eye of someone fresh off the breakup train, craving affection or maybe just a cheeky kiss! It’s like being the shiny new toy that someone just pulled out of the toy box after putting the old one back on the shelf.

S …Stress can disrupt our relationships more than we realize. How do you cope with stress?

Are you letting it build up, potentially harming both you and your relationship? Make time to relax daily and weekly. Depression can be influenced by fluctuating blood sugar levels, affecting mental and physical health and relationships. Research indicates a link between mood disorders and glycaemic highs and lows, as symptoms like irritability and anxiety resemble those of poor glycaemic regulation. Key strategies to manage this include: Reducing stress, which negatively impacts blood glucose regulation. Increasing intake of protein and fibre, which have a low glycaemic index. Reducing sweet beverages and refined carbohydrates that cause unstable blood sugar. Introducing fermented foods to promote gut health.

Make each other feel special in ways that resonate; support one another and stand up for each other both publicly and privately. Many people underestimate how vital this small act is for strengthening your bond.

If we see SILENCE as denial, we will SUFFER, if we see it as SPACE to grow, we will find peace.

Spouse: Similar to significant other, this is a gender-neutral term that describes someone engaged in a legal partnership, such as a marriage or civil union.

Situationship: A ‘situationship’ denotes a sexual or romantic grey area of a relationship, which does not feature the commitment, boundaries or exclusivity of a traditional monogamous relationship. Clear communication is key. If you’re in a situationship, make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want.

Submarining: When someone ghosts you but then pops back up like nothing happened. Submariners aren’t worth your time. If they dipped once, they’ll probably dip again.

Self-sabotage – to get in the way of what’s best for yourself.

I realized I was self-sabotaging in relationships, focusing on suitors’ lack of interest instead of my own quirks. My fear of commitment stemmed from childhood trauma, making me attract commitment-phobes. Online dating is like a buffet of choices, but it often serves up a side of unrealistic expectations! Some folks are happily swiping while in a “relationship,” always on the hunt for the next shiny option. It’s like morals packed their bags and went on a permanent holiday! Self-sabotage comes from negative beliefs formed in childhood, like feeling “not good enough.” By recognizing these patterns, we can change our narrative from “I’m unworthy” to “I’m a fabulous catch.” Embracing SELF-LOVE can lead to happier relationships.

Survivor – somebody who has survived, a narcissistic relationship, sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape. Survivor is often considered to be more empowering term than “victim”, though some people prefer to say they are “thriving” rather than surviving. A victor never a victim!

SURE, here you go:

SURE, looking SHARP and putting on a SHOW is great, but let’s get real: it’s the good STUFF—character, integrity, and real SMARTS—that makes you who you are!

A shiny façade may get you in the door, but it’s your inner sparkle that keeps it ajar. Balance is the name of the game! Practice patience and take a breather before you jump in. Know when to make a graceful exit (after all, you don’t want to be the last one at the fair!). Keep your classy threads fresh and smelling like a dream, and chat in a smooth, calm tone—never spill too much tea! Keep your life a bit of a mystery; write a memoir instead of spilling your guts.

And remember the mantra: never complain, never explain.

Glide through life like a swan, flash that smile like it’s just another Tuesday, and treat luxury like it’s your everyday jam! This day is a gift…I shall use it well, for my future depends on it! Yesterday is done and today is fresh! The world gives you what you give to it!

T …Be thoughtful – engage in little gestures that show you’re thinking of each other.

A quick call to say “I love you,” bringing flowers, taking out the trash without being asked, or offering help when your partner looks tired. I’m sure many ideas will come to mind!

Stay TRUE to yourself – listen to your inner wisdom and follow its guidance.

TALK with a close friend & Listen & Affirm. Remember, your inner saboteur might make an appearance; it’s been working hard to keep you single and may feel threatened by the prospect of change.

To address your fears, reach out to trusted friends, including a male friend for a different perspective. Remember your strengths in relationships and meaningful friendships; you can navigate this situation. Listen to your heart to visualize a happy ending, whether through travel, cohabitation, marriage, or a supportive long-distance relationship. In relationships, you can either ignore underlying issues or choose to listen deeply, which fosters intimacy. Ruptures are inevitable, but couples who repair quickly maintain strong connections. Affirm your desire for love daily with the mantra: “I deserve love every single day, and I am open to receiving it.” After a lifetime of solitude, you long for soul-nourishing joy in a relationship, imagining the possibilities of truly embracing connections.

Text Black Hole: It’s like you’ve been texting this person since the dawn of time, yet meeting up is as elusive as a unicorn at a barbecue! Welcome to the wild world of dating site drama!

Temporary or just for now… These terms are informal ways to describe relationships that don’t include intentions of a longer-term or future commitment from one or more of the involved parties.

Toxic Alert! 🚨 This is all about relationships that are like a bad sequel—nobody asked for them!

They’re: Damaging Unhealthy Unbalanced Controlling Co-dependent Emotionally draining (like running a marathon in flip-flops) Socially isolating (where’s my party?) Destabilizing Abusive (no thank you!)

U …Unconditionally accept one another!

This is one of life’s most important lessons, albeit a challenging one. We can easily do this as babies and toddlers, but it often fades as we grow older. Perhaps we can learn from how we relate to our pets (especially dogs) and apply the same principles to ourselves and partners!

Unrealistic Expectations: The magic trick for tackling those sky-high expectations? Embrace your partner just as they are! When you celebrate their quirks, you ditch the urge to mould them into your perfect vision. Now, on the flip side, folks with a sprinkle of narcissism might just be the ones chasing those lofty personal goals, while totally skipping out on community vibes.

Unstick: To overcome your fear of relationships, identify and explore its roots by asking yourself why you feel this way and considering the worst possible outcomes. Acknowledge that heartbreak and mistakes are part of growth, helping you build trust in yourself and your decisions. Educate yourself about relationships through films, discussions with inspiring couples, or coaching. Commit to envisioning a fulfilling romantic relationship and take actionable steps toward it, even if it seems daunting.

V …Value each other.

Acknowledge the wonderful traits you each possess and be aware of your own values. Identifying our values can be tricky, as we usually absorb them from our parents, making them deeply ingrained yet often unnoticed. Be vulnerable with one another – this fosters genuine intimacy. Cherish this vulnerability as it is a precious gift; it signifies that the other person trusts you enough to reveal their most sensitive parts!

W …Practicing wise selfishness is a suggestion from the Dalai Lama that we should all embrace.

While we have responsibilities towards others—such as our partners, parents, children, and friends—and obligations to our relationships as a whole, it is equally important to take care of ourselves. By nurturing our own well-being and maintaining our energy levels, we can continue to support others effectively.

As Kahlil Gibran beautifully expressed in one of his poems, let the “Winds of Heaven” dance between you; this means being together without losing your individuality within the relationship.

Andrew Matthews, the author of ‘Being Happy,’ encourages us to focus on the Widow’s list rather than the Wife’s list. When someone leaves our lives, we tend to remember only their positive traits, yet we often dwell on their shortcomings while they are still present!

X.. Establish some fundamental truths that are essential for creating a fulfilling and Xtraordinary life.

• 1. Embrace the possibility of being misunderstood. (To be Xtraordinary, you must go above and beyond.) If someone disapproves of your dedication to self-improvement or fears your transformation, remember—it’s not your concern; you don’t need to change for anyone else to shine.

• 2. Visualize your dream life.

• 3. Ask better questions. (A problem well defined is a problem half solved.) Default to action. (What matters is taking action instead of just thinking about it—set a clear target and maintain 100% clarity and belief.)

• 4. Measure what truly matters.

• 5. FOCUS – Follow One Course Until Successful.

• 6. Play to win. (Rather than focusing on avoiding loss, concentrate on increasing your income instead of worrying about saving on taxes.)

• 7. You are already enough. (Your dream life doesn’t require anyone’s approval—finding love and happiness is the true pursuit.)

• 8. Define your why.

• 9. Now, go take action!

Immerse yourself in an abundance of love and happiness. You are Xtraordinary!

Y Embracing a youthful zest is captivating and engaging; as we grow older, we mistakenly believe we must become more serious. Stop that thought immediately—let’s grow down instead!

Y is for you—you are the most vital person to ensure happiness, health, and contentment. When you embody these qualities, they radiate from you and create a warm glow that touches others.

Z Zombieing — Just when you’ve moved on, they pop back up with a “Hey, stranger…” text like nothing happened. Spooky, right?

Zing, Zing, Zing—let’s celebrate vibrant, juicy, zesty relationships! Embrace the zest, the life, the love; Fill yourself with affection, become the person you wish to attract in your life, and watch the magic unfold!

At the end of the day, love isn’t just a game of label bingo—it’s about finding that dazzling someone who makes you feel like the star of your own blockbuster (cue the green flag party 🚩). Not quite there yet? No sweat! Channel your inner main character, master the art of text flirting, and sidestep those digital red flags like they’re a bad sequel. Dating? Buckle up, because it’s like a roller coaster on a breezy day—totally chaotic, shockingly unpredictable, and occasionally exhausting!

But if you’ve struck gold with a fabulous relationship, stick around, nurture that magic, and let your best selves shine together! And hey, if you’re flying solo, remember: it’s way better to be happily solo than to feel lonely with someone who’s not your cup of tea… Life’s too short—savour every moment like it’s a grand finale. I love you! Happy days, party people! 🎉 Sending love and whispers of magic your way! Always, Lynnie. ❤️

Dear fellow human,

I feel compelled to reach out to you. I could write these words endlessly, but I understand that it won’t change anything. I could shout my pain to the world, letting everyone know how you’ve hurt me, yet the past will remain unresponsive. I could harbour resentment, keeping it hidden deep within me as a constant reminder of the hurt you caused. But ultimately, I am the only one who bears this burden, so why should I choose to carry it? I was your friend, your family, your lover. You had the potential to be so much more to me. Heartbreak is impartial, choosing anyone in life to let us down. I always had faith in you. I trusted you and the promises you made. I believed in your dreams and overlooked your uncertainties. I welcomed you into my life, despite my better judgment. I defended you fiercely, recognizing the beautiful aspects of who you are. I envisioned a future with you, holding onto those plans like a promise of something magnificent. I loved you wholeheartedly. I gave you everything I had, and for a while, I felt empty and deceived. But do you know what’s most bewildering and frustrating about all this? I forgive you. Though we are different individuals, ultimately, we are the same—we are human.

As humans, we disappoint one another. We pledge love before truly understanding its meaning.

We betray trust, break hearts, and make mistakes. I too have made my share of errors, and I’m sure I’ve caused you pain as well. I recognize that there are aspects of you I may never fully grasp, which means I can’t confine these intricate experiences to the limited frameworks I’ve tried to create. I had faith in you for a reason, and that’s why I genuinely wish the very best for you.

Friendship, family, and relationships come with expectations, yet it’s rare that all those expectations are fulfilled. Taking that leap of faith in people comes with risk. Ultimately, loving one another teaches us about love itself—a beautiful and unique force unlike anything else in this world. You could be a lover, friend, parent, sibling, child, or even a near stranger. Regardless of who you are, I want you to know that you have caused me pain, but I forgive you. My forgiveness isn’t about feeling virtuous. It’s not about avoiding the recognition of your actions. I don’t forgive you because I’ve forgotten. On the contrary, I forgive you because I choose to remember. I remember your humanity—how we teach each other through both positive and negative experiences. You’ve gifted me with memories and emotions that made me feel truly alive. If you were deserving of my trust and love, then you are worthy of my forgiveness, and I deserve the relief that comes with letting go. I know I am strong, alive, and free to embrace the full spectrum of love and loss. I am grateful for both the moments I’ve had and those I’ve lost. You are a part of me, and that piece will not consume my soul with hatred. Instead, it will reside within me, nurtured by forgiveness, joy, and humility. I believe this will help me grow into a better person moving forward.

P. S. Forgiveness will pave the way for a kinder future for both of us.

With warmth, Another human!

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