By Lynnie Stein / December 27, 2019

Self Worth

If we base our self worth on the external world, we will never be capable of self-love

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

The most important decision of your life, the one that will affect every other decision you make, is the commitment to love and accept yourself.

It directly affects the quality of your relationships, your work, your free time, your faith, and your future.

Why, is it so difficult to do?

Your family of origin

I never fitted in. I was outspoken, out of control, and rebellious, and always seeking attention. The blue eyed, blonde curly haired girl who tried so hard to be a tough boy.

Always competitive, could beat anyone in a dare .. had to be the best boy.

Then I discover I have a 15 cm mass growing in my pelvis area … We name her Amia (beloved). I shit my pants when told it must be removed and they will take all my goodie bits as well .. I wrongly think .. at last I will be my fathers boy.

I am working through my childhood issues, old thoughts, beliefs, and events. It is Christmas and I have been left alone about operating on Amia. I am working on giving her the spiritual love from a male and female perspective. I have felt alone, stuck and unlovable. I am determined to change. If I have to go for the chop chop in the New Year, I will be more at peace.

It is like stripping off several layers of paint from an antique piece of furniture. I have worked hard on loving the girl in the mirror, who has been through so much but is still standing. The bad choices of past relationships.. it wasn’t the young girls fault and she certainly never deserved to be treated badly. The little girl deserves to be loved. To continue to grow into a well loved teenager and a strong woman. A strong woman deserves to be loved and felt special every single day.

I release my parents and family from past failures and unfulfilled desires, aware they have done their best to resolve situations within consciousness they had at the moment.

I honor you, I love you. I recognize you as innocent.

I am transparent before your eyes, so they know I do not hide or owe anything other than being true to myself and to my very existence, walking with the wisdom of the heart.

I am aware I fulfil my life project, free from invisible and visible family loyalties that might disturb my Peace and Happiness, which are my responsibilities.

I renounce the role of savoir, of being one who unites or fulfils the expectations of others.

Learning through, and only through, LOVE, I bless my essence, my way of expressing, even though somebody may not understand me.

I understand myself, because I alone have lived and experienced my history, because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it.

Cultural influences

We’re taught by society that our worth is found in the idols of our culture – technology, status, youth, sex, power, money, attractiveness, and romantic relationships.

If we base our self worth on the external world, we will never be capable of self-love. Your inner critic will flood you with thoughts of “I’m not enough, I don’t have enough, and I don’t do enough”.

Feelings of lack are never ending. Every time a goal is reached or you possess the next big thing, your ego will move the line.

Shift Self-Perception

I am worthy … feeling worthy requires you to see yourself with fresh eyes of self-awareness and love. Acceptance and love must come from within.

You don’t have to be different to be worthy. Your worth is in your true nature, a core of love and inner goodness. You are a beautiful light. You are LOVE. We can bury our magnificence, but it’s impossible to destroy.

Loving ourselves isn’t a one time event. It’s an endless, ongoing process.

It begins with you, enfolding yourself in your own affection and appreciation.

1. Begin your day with LOVE (not technology) not tuning into dating apps

Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Breathe in LOVE and breathe out LOVE

Enfold yourself in light. Saturate your being in LOVE.

2. Take time to meditate and journal

Spend time focusing inward daily. Begin with five minutes of meditation and five minutes of journaling each morning. Gradually increase

3. Talk yourself happy

Use affirmations to train your mind to become more positive. As Tony Robbins says .. “If you live in your head, your dead”. LOVE is the way. Put a wrist band on your right wrist. When you are participating in self-criticism, move the band to your left wrist.

4. Get emotionally honest

Let go of numbing your feelings. Shopping, eating, day-sleeping and drinking are examples of avoiding discomfort, sadness and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.

5. Expand your interests

Try something new. Learn a language, enroll in a workshop. Go places you’ve never been. Do things you haven’t done before. You have a right to an awesome life.

6. Enjoy life enhancing activities

Find exercise you like. Discover healthy foods. Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.

7. Become willing to surrender

Breathe, relax and let go. You can never see the whole picture. You don’t know what anything is for. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life that should be different. Your plan may be different from your souls’ intentions.

8. Work on personal and spiritual development

Be willing to surrender and grow. Life is a journey. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. Take penguin steps and life becomes difficult. One step at a time is enough to go forward.

9. Own your potential

Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.

10. Be patient with yourself

Let go of urgency and FEAR…false evidence appearing real. Relax and transform striving into thriving. TRUST in yourself, do good work and you will see results.

11. Live in appreciation

Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty and brilliance. LOVE your imperfectly perfect self.

12. Be guided by intuition

All answers come from within. Look for signs and pay attention to your gut feelings. You’ll hear two inner voices when you need to make a decision. The quiet voice is your higher self; the loud voice is your ego. Always go with the quieter voice.

13. Do what honors and respects you

Don’t participate in activities that bring you down. Don’t allow toxic peeps in your life. LOVE everyone, but be discerning on who you allow into your life.

14. Accept uncertainty

Suffering comes from living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Put your attention on the present moment and be at peace.

15. Forgive yourself

Learn from your mistakes and go forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for ___________________ (fill in the blank i.e.: for getting ill, for acting out, for not doing my best).

16. Discover the power of fun

Self-love requires time to relax, play and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play. Dr. Stuart Brow says, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it is depression.”

17. Be real

Speak up and speak out. Allow yourself to be seen, known and heard. Get comfortable with intimacy (in-to-me-see).

18. Focus on the positive

Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas.

19. Become aware of self neglect and rejection

Become conscious of your choices. Ask yourself several times throughout the day … “Does this choice honor me?”

20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth

Dedicate your life to loving you. Make it your main event.

21. Seek professional help

Self-rejection and neglect is painful. You deserve to be happy. You have a right to be accepted and loved. If necessary, seek help from a professional. It’s the best investment you can make.

Because we are all interconnected, when I love me, I also love you. Together through our love, we can heal ourselves, each other, and the world. LOVE is our purpose, our true calling. It begins with and within each of us.

Thank you tinybuddha.com

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© 2021 Lynnie Stein