Consistency is the key when 2 people come together. A team, who supports each other and always have each other’s back. The real deal.
Consistency in a relationship is a repetitive behaviour that leads to trust and confidence for each mate.
Love can be met and joined with attraction and infatuation, but love will not fade when those things do.
You can choose to close your heart to love, and run away, and avoid it for as long as you can in every way you can think of but if it was really, truly, the other-worldly, almost supernatural kind of love that we can only hope to be graced with at least once in this life experience, it will not leave you.
- You can love many people, but at the end of the day, the love you need to choose is the love that even if you close your heart to, still moves you.
- The love you’re still not okay with losing, that you’re angry about, the love that uprooted your life and comforted your being.
- The love you ran away from because it showed you who you are without the guise of worth given from someone else.
- This is love because these are the signs that you are closing your heart.
- Real love will be the love you realize that remains even after you close our heart to it, because it sustains itself.
- It drives you forward, it brings up all the unhealed parts of you that you have to reconcile.
- Your soulmate is whoever you put your energy into.
- It’s whoever you learn to compromise with.
- It’s whoever allows you to feel safe and accepted as you are.
- It’s who reminds you that you’re greater than your circumstance.
- Soulmates are the result of work.
The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment.
The right person gives you these things because they love you.
“You are meant to be loved. To be held. To feel safe.
And to be reminded of how beautiful you are as a person.
As a soul. There’s still hope.
Don’t let anyone make you believe that love is BS. It’s not.
Believe me. It’s not.”
The meaning of life is to find your gift.The purpose of your life is to give it away.But in order to give away your gift, someone must receive it...YOUR LOVE
This is the kind of man you deserve.
A man who isn’t afraid of emotion.
A man who shows up one hundred percent.
A man who is ready…who craves every drop, drip and ounce of an authentic, earthy goddess of a wonderful woman like you.
Let him kiss you with his entire being until you remember who you really are.
Ultimately, we as humans spend a lot of time wanting to be someone that we’re not, whether in age, appearance, occupation, wealth, success etc.
If we can somehow overcome our own psychological vices and be comfortable in our own skins, I think we can finally liberate ourselves from a life of regret.
We create inequality among ourselves, we create hate for race religion, creed, sex, class, opinions etc.
At the end of it all, and at the risk of sounding clichéd if I haven’t already;
Life is what we make it
We can choose to do good things, to serve others, and fulfil our lives that way, or we can live a selfish one and satisfy ourselves to the bitter end.
However, at the end of the day I urge all of us to consider how we can live without harming the lives of others;
Because they all deserve a chance at happiness.
Because the act of giving can be a beautiful expression.
Building a healthy relationship is the key to a happy life
How do you do a successful relationship?
- Most men want to feel needed and to feel belonged, & women need to feel wanted and loved whole heartedly.
- Yes, it really is that simple!
- Men indeed are not mind readers, and appreciate a woman that can communicate her wants and needs directly. We both need to communicate our love language, our wants and needs, our boundaries, we can not expect our partner to automatically know or read our minds.
- If someone really loves you they will always respect you.
- You were never meant to teach someone to love you. You were meant to be loved.
- One of the biggest blocks to self-love (and attracting love) is the emotion of shame, which is identity based feeling. This emotion is generated by the belief that we are not enough or there’s something wrong with us. Normally stemming from an internalized wound…
- If you’re in a place where you’re taking good care of yourself, feeling your feelings, and getting in touch with your purpose but you are frustrated about not showing up for yourself , its a sign your feminine energy is out of balance.
- Just a little hint here if you’re having a hard time finding your purpose, becoming the adult you needed when you were younger is the best place to start.
- Purpose is created – not found
- Real growth is rarely fun
- Communication is the antidote to confusion – partners will often communicate on different levels – one may need to go into silence and the other may not – this is where you communicate and learn to come to a healthy space for both. If us humans could accomplish this, imagine how much we could improve our happiness and reality.
- Communication is as much and antidote to confusion as both parties are willing and able to communicate and are honest with themselves to begin with.
- Not everyone has good intentions
- Not everyone has bad intentions
- We can never know another person’s motives or intentions and are rarely even conscious to our own.
- Overthinking leads to underperforming – you can talk yourself out of just about anything by overthinking
- You can’t expect honesty from people who even lie to themselves.
- You don’t need 100 self-help books, all you need is action & self-discipline.
- You become more mature when you train yourself to take nothing personally.
- Train yourself to let people win arguments on purpose to conserve your mental health.
- If you continue to wait for “the right time”, you’ll waste your entire life and nothing will happen.
- The most difficult mission on earth is to focus on your dreams; The easiest task is to complain.
- You’ll always be unfinished – BUT don’t let that be the shitty excuse for not relentlessly pursuing self mastery. It should be one of our greatest purpose. Like that circularity? kinder sexy eh?
- Enjoy the journey and it’s always better shared with the right person.
- Most people are stuck in toxic relationships because they are afraid to be alone.
- When you are with the wrong person, you always feel like you are asking for too much. When you are with the right person, you really don’t have to ask much at all.
- How would it feel to be completely magnetic? Knowing that you have this unseen force that draws whatever you want with ease.
- “I am in the energy of magnetism. I am a magnet for everything I desire”
- Hope everyone is dealing well with life’s ups and downs, keeping their spirit up and shining bright, no matter what…
- Currently working on best version of me…
- Last 12 months have been the most challenging so far, self released itself from the story, body has been trying to catch up with the higher frequency
- Endings, beginnings are all muddled up.
- The speed of journey is like a movie, fast forwarded ten times.
- Trying to make sense of it all is pointless.
- Found a shelter for the soul, amongst the constellations in the sky,
- whilst each cell is being upgraded for the new earth in the forever now..
- May you all enjoy each moment and always feel the LOVE…
Emotional intimacy is a skill that can be consistently practiced
Intimacy actions show our partner that we consider them, listen to them, and they keep us connected even when life gets busy.
- Ordering food and attaching a note for your partner
- when apart sending the morning and good night text, because it’s normal to think of the person you love the first moment you open your eyes and the last moment before you close them
- cuddling tight whilst drifting off to sleep
- placing a glass of water beside the bed
- hiding little love notes
- offering to take something off their plate
- planning an at home movie date with popcorn
- grabbing them a book on a subject they’re passionate about
- doing the dishes and helping around the home
- sending “I’m so grateful you’re in my life” text
Questions To Begin:
- what’s your best & worst memory from childhood
- what did you get from your parents that you needed + what did you feel like you missed
- how do you like to be loved?
- when do you feel most confident and most insecure
- what’s the greatest lesson you’ve learned this year
- what’s something impactful that’s happened to you that you’ve never shared with anyone?
Where do you meet the love of your life?
The overly romantic method of meeting someone is unrealistic in this day and age because, as a society, we don’t smile at people in the street anymore, or strike up conversations with strangers.
Online dating is a bit like being a kid in a lolly shop.
However, “it’s easier to reject than connect” and “most people don’t really want to connect” +
- “many people think that the next person after you will be better. Then the next, and the next…” The shiny new shoes syndrome
Everyone on a dating site is basically saying: “Hey, I’m available! Talk to me.”
- There are some downsides, of course. You receive so many messages, it is overwhelming to answer People are looking for the perfect partner and that doesn’t exist. It’s like an online class..an online creative writing class. A whole lot of fiction. It’s also luck and timing on dating apps. Some search for years; others meet The One almost immediately.
- Online you reject people before you have a chance to meet and accept them, you reject for a perceived flaw.
- You can’t tell if you’ll have face to face chemistry.
Because it’s more impersonal, there’s a high rate of people ghosting and when you do start a relationship, some don’t delete the dating site and keep on looking for your replacement. There’s millions of fish in the sea. When people lose interest, it’s easy for them to just stop and let things fizzle out. There are plenty of fish and many are bottom feeders!
Profiles are very curated and often in a deceitful way. People are afraid that the real person would push others away. And so, they lie, either by commission or omission. But that’s not exclusive to dating online.
- Even with the 100% truth, the information tells you so very little about that person.
- All you can do is screen for the most basic attributes and get out there and meet them… but it’s pressure. You aren’t in a room, picking and choosing, getting close or avoiding, you’ve basically told this other person – you have potential to be someone I could be romantic with- let’s meet!
- You meet and often you know within literally seconds this is not going to work. But you are committed to be polite and spend a certain amount of time being pleasant and giving it “a chance.” Then you have to reject, and that feels terrible. Or be rejected and that is just as miserable.
- Now, do that twenty times, or more. You meet people who say, “Let’s be friends” and are perfectly nice and you do some things that are fun and you are “getting out there” but you are no closer to finding someone who could mean something to you. Then you start projecting onto people you haven’t even met yet- you see the danger signs and you just avoid.
- And the few that are interesting? There’s this whole weird dance where you try and figure out if you like each other enough to try and make something happen and then communication just stops. Blech.
- If you’re in a long term relationship – stay there! Things have got weird!! Better to work on a love than go look for another.
- Now, you’ve gone out with a bunch of people you would have known better than to go out with if you’d met them in person. And in some cases, you’ve hurt their feelings or they’ve hurt yours, stuff that would not have happened if you hadn’t based your date on a 10 year old photo and a few texts.
- It’s not terrible but after a while, the whole thing feels gross and unsettling and you decide single is a good way to be. Yes, couples have come together from online dating and yes, it is at least a good way to find people interested in having a relationship but you have to sort through a sea of gross and in the end, there is no guarantee that anyone decent will surface. Boy, do I ever miss the good old days, like Archie Bunker sang…when girls were girls and men were men, and there were normal ways to meet.
- Previous to online dating, we ran a very successful local singles events company…I would often say “I’m glad I am not single” I now find myself as a widow and the dating game hasn’t changed …Older men chase younger women and expect that old women will just put out, which make women wary of a man’s attention. The younger woman would respond – they were not interested in someone who was a father figure.
- If you want her to lick your balls, then grow some. In the end, its better to be honest about what you want than to pretend you don’t and try to deceive her into giving you what you are after. When you ask for what you want, you often get it and so much healthier than playing “the nice guy”. Don’t play “the nice guy” be “the honest guy”. That’s what is really nice.
- So, if you say something, make sure it’s something you genuinely feel.
- It’s not nice to be led to believe something that isn’t authentic. That leads to distrust.
- Then when you actually do develop legitimate feelings, the person won’t know how to take the gesture because consistency speaks to your being fake.
- Just like the fake photos …being a tall woman Height was the biggest problem. Many are focused on height – shame you are so tall. I almost wished I was short. Then some show up eight inches shorter than they said they were.
- Developing consistency in a relationship takes time and patience to establish your rhythm together. Some couples start with a degree of consistency since they’re in the honeymoon phase and need to see each other constantly.
- But when you start with a strong come-on based more on infatuation, the absolute consistency doesn’t come until some reality begins to set in.
- Red Flags…callous jokes or comments, sadistic sense of humour, disrespectful behaviour, inconsistencies, love bombing, idealization, no dignity, degrading and ill talk about others especially ex partners, wandering and lustful eyes!
- LACK OF EMPATHY, Actions not matching words.
- When they want to start controlling you, telling you not to do things, or be with friends, they don’t approve of… Run for the hills.
- They lie as they breathe.
- You can judge how a partner will treat you by how they treat themselves.
- “You’re too good for me”. They usually mean it and it’s a sign they’ll undermine things whenever things are good. Believe them the first time!
- Excessive flattery and adulation means one thing: RUN!
- Pay attention to the way they treat cats & dogs & family.
- Very strong start. Then things quickly weaken.
- Awareness and life experience comes with lots of wisdom. EYES wide open and if I should fall in love again. Values and lifestyle must be aligned. We ALL have our baggage and idiosyncrasies...beware of narcissistic behaviour. Narcissists train you not to ask anything from them. Every time you need something from them it becomes a big ordeal or it results in some kind of drama. Narcissists purposely make things difficult so you could learn not to rely on them. Just know- you’ve got this, and deserve better!!! See it and don’t repeat it. They have to be the most spineless people, cowardly, spiteful, selfish, go out of there way to belittle you! I lived with one for decades…people ask the ? Why did you stay? We learn lessons and know what we deserve. Respect for ourselves..
- I will now take my mind and spirit along with all the love in my heart and soul. ❤💖💋👀
- I am kind to myself and my inner child who went through so much chaos in my past.
- I am no longer helpless, and I can ask people for help.
- I trust myself to navigate what life brings me.
- I am open to : joy, play, and ease.
- Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeves, to love and live your life to the fullest.
- You lose yourself and you find that everything you need is within you.
risk your heart
find the others
Your life will be full of love because you are full of love. Please don’t ever forget that!
Stay safe while still playing the dating game…
- Dating app users should be cautious about how much data they give out on a dating app.
- Recently reported, linking your social media account can reveal personal information that you may not want a stranger to know.
- Use photos for your dating profile that are different from your social media accounts so that a reverse image search won’t give out your social media information.
- Do not give out your contact information, physical address, financial information or sensitive personal information on a dating app.
- If a dating app interest is deemed worthy of an in-person meetup, always tell a trusted friend where you are going and consider sharing your location on your phone with that friend.
- Meet in a public location, not at either of your places of residence.
- Consider making the first date a double date with friends you trust in a public space.
- Have a safety plan. If the date feels unsafe, have an on-call friend who you can text an emoji to and they will call immediately with an excuse for you to leave the date in a nonconfrontational way. Be aware of going to your car and heading home.
- Dating is about building connections, by dating apps have changed the landscape, making it unwise to be to trusting too soon.
- Navigating this new landscape requires a balance of caution, patience and a little help from friends.
- Do go slow and get to know the real person by his actions and not words from a sometimes fake profile.
I hope you also understand relationships are important …when you discard / you are discarded, what did you gain and what did you lose?
8 billion of us… and we’re so alone
You know that problem plaguing more than half of modern society … The physical effects of loneliness
- Loneliness is perhaps the biggest struggle of humanity right now.
- We isolate because we’re afraid of being judged or hurt by others.
- We are a social species. We need other people to thrive.
But it’s not what’s happening, is it? What a paradox to be living in the age of technology, internet and social media, and yet to feel more alone than ever.
- We are getting more and more separated from each other and therefore more and more unhealthy. And that’s quite dangerous.
- Over the course of history, we have stepped progressively farther away from what health for our species looks like. Biologically speaking, what’s good for a man, what’s good for a woman is going to fall in alignment with what’s good for us as a species.
- The fact that we are taught to ignore our own needs, separate from our emotions, and disown ourselves instead of being taught about relationships, emotional wellbeing, and self-awareness is a travesty beyond measure.
- Mankind lacks information, knowledge and awareness that is crucial to our wellbeing as a species.
We’re living in a society where you have young men who have absolutely no track of mentorship for embracing their own masculinity or knowing what that means.
We could say the same for young women.
- Without self-awareness, we will just continue to perpetuate massive amounts of suffering for ourselves and the world at large.
- So we now search for our love online. Online dating can work, but it can also suck big time.
The sickest game you can play
It takes a powerful man
A healthy relationship is about two people being in service to each other, in other words, being there for each other.
- A connection where you both can grow to understand each other.
- Share each others dreams.
- Protect each others happiness and love like no other.
Communication is the key to a successful relationship, attentiveness, and consistency.
Without it, there is no relationship.
A safe space to be honest how you’re feeling is where it’s at.
I don’t know if people realize this, but when you share their feelings with you, they’re actually handing you their heart & trusting you to take care of it!!!
The best way to truly love yourself is to treat yourself just like you would your best friend.
- Surround yourself with people who love and respect you.
- Your best friend is your best friend for a reason.
- She wouldn’t stick around if you she didn’t love everything about you, and you wouldn’t hang out with her if you didn’t love her just the same.
- If you learn to show yourself the same care and kindness you show your best friend, then you can truly learn how to love yourself.
Who knew that loving yourself translated into loving your partner better?
- The silver lining here is that your partner literally becomes a “mirror” who can reflect the parts of you that need healing.
- It’s important to accept blame for the things we’ve done wrong, but being quick to do so can often cause us to be overly hard on ourselves—and to take the blame for things that aren’t our responsibility.
- When we people-please our partners, it’s usually with the intention to avoid conflict and keep the peace. Maybe you grew up in a household where it was discouraged to express your opinion or have a voice. This behaviour almost always gets carried over into your adult relationships.
- The problem is that it doesn’t end up working! You might get some temporary relief for a couple of days. But then all that built-up resentment you thought was gone, suddenly shoots up like a broken whack-a-mole machine! You’re shocked at your own explosive or passive-aggressive reaction.
- Your partner is left scratching their head wondering why you’re so upset. Everybody loses.
- Remember, when you don’t heal your wounds, you bleed on people that never cut you!
Listen to—and tend to—your own needs
- Your own body and mind let you know what you need to stay healthy.
- Listen to them.
- Too often, we push ourselves too hard, trying to get everything crossed off our to-do list.
- But sometimes you need to slow down, for both your physical and mental health.
- Taking care of yourself is a great way to show self-love, just as you do so by taking care of your loved ones.
Receiving is an act of love
- It is an act of appreciation for your partner who wants to express their feelings and do something nice for you. I could never accept gifts or a compliment and this effected my relationships.
- My take? Accept the gifts and the damn compliment. Stop resisting and surrender to that warm, fuzzy love. Because you deserve it!
- At the end of the day, self-love isn’t about the bubble baths or yoga retreats. It’s simply a decision that you matter just as much as everyone else in your life. The positive effects on your relationship are just the cherry on top!
In the wise words of Les Brown :
Look at you, glowing with self love and becoming a magnet to good vibrations.
The most important relationship you will have is with yourself.
You are NOT alone. The last few years have been a really hard time for a lot of peeps. Be strong and reach out if you are currently struggling and think you may need some help. Many people do care and love you. No matter how alone you feel. Speak up and talk to someone.
It will help…
You will see…
Blessings to all
Please be kind to one another, and seek help and support if you need it.
If no one has told you today…I love you