By Lynnie Stein / October 6, 2022

Heal & keep the peace

Keeping the peace should also include our internal peace. “How can we make ourselves feel loved and secure in this situation?” It’s important to acknowledge what part of us is being protected when we “keep the peace” or what part keeping the peace is protecting. Keeping the peace a lot of times means swallowing your ego and not needing to be right… this feels healthy to me.

Truth #1 IF THEY WANTED TO THEY WOULD

Truth #2 You can’t make anyone change

Truth #3 Stop being mad, people will never be who you want them to be. 

  • Keeping the peace and allowing someone to abuse you and you be the doormat is a hard NO for me…what is infuriating in those scenarios is at the end it looks like I’m the one with the problem when really I’m just standing up for myself.
  • There’s something to be said for keeping the peace.
  • It’s important to understand how to engage with or be around people who challenge us!
  • Sometimes, keeping the peace actually means enabling abuse.

“Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.”

Dalai Lama

If keeping the peace means:

  • walking on eggshells around people
  • being a people pleaser
  • denying part of your experience or accepting someone else denying it
  • allowing emotional harmful behaviour in the name of getting along
  • having your feelings invalidated, shamed, or mocked
  • having your boundaries violated (or not being able to place them)

Keeping the peace means everyone is (at some level of peace)

  • It doesn’t mean you must betray yourself, your values, or your boundaries.
  • And often it’s to avoid the emotional discomfort within us or because we want approval from it.
  • But if we value authenticity and love, we can pause and think…What is in the best interest of this person AND ourselves, even if it is uncomfortable.

Never settle.

Sometimes we are too quick to jump at opportunities that we need to take the time to feel out.

We jump into a relationship prematurely and give away too much, only for it to fall apart.

We get desperate seeking connection, and sometimes we make the mistake of grabbing the first thing that comes into our path. And this is where we mess up, because we miss the red flags. We miss the warnings signals. And it leads to ultimate heartbreak.

This is why it’s important to be patient. This is why it is crucial to pay attention to the people that enter your life.

Don’t settle for less when you are deserving of more 🥀

Keeping the peace

  • holding back opinions
  • avoiding sensitive topics
  • having a boundary of engagement
  • having only surface level conversations
  • respecting differences of opinion without pressure

Healing makes you realize some people don’t deserve to be around you, no matter how much you love them.

  • Unconditional love doesn’t mean unconditional tolerance of;
  • abuse, neglect, disrespect, or bullshit – it’s not unconditional boundaries.

Who wants fancy ways & shiny things?

Give me slow hands, honest eyes & full attention with ease

Give me priceless things.

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Enabling abuse:

  • allowing yourself to be shamed/mocked
  • denying parts of your life or experiences in order to be accepted
  • allowing hurtful experiences or behaviour “because of” something (like: addiction, childhood trauma, or because that’s the way someone is)
  • having boundaries violated or completely ignored
  • I learned that how much I had been “keeping the peace” in my life.
  • AND how it is not “keeping the peace” in my life.
  • Self care is important
  • Sometimes keeping the peace prioritizes loyalty at any cost over setting healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself.

water lilies

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.

Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”

—Saint Francis de Sales

Best Selling writer Kayil York’s book Brave Soul is dedicated to the ones who give everything they have to fight their way to live through the brutality and hardships of life.

This book is a battle cry for the ones who are struggling to make it on their own difficult journeys, who need a powerful message to help them push through the parts of life that burn and change the way their hearts beat.

This book is for the weak, the strong, the coping, the struggling, the tormented, the disturbed, the daring, the valorous, the growing, and the fighters.

This is all for you. 

“He gave her a coat of stars, that she now wears like a second skin.”

In Kayil York’s fourth book, 11:11 is a dive into the world of true love, twin flames, and the magic of connection.

A full reality of happiness that surrounds two lovers in the thick of life.

Her newest collection is a world of the raw, a world of sheer passion, and a world of depth that will give you goose bumps. Immerse yourself into a new universe of the way souls collide into something that’s more than love.

Kayil York’s – You Deserve More…This is a book of prose and poetry that teaches us not to settle for less than what we deserve

  • An exploration of connections, You Deserve More dives into the twists and turns of relationships.
  • Too many times we settle for relationships that are harmful, toxic, and do nothing but break our hearts and cripple our souls.
  • You Deserve More is a raw representation of the hearts turmoil, the journey of constant realization, and the road to immeasurable healing.
  • All my life I have been told that God never gives you any situation you can’t handle.
  • Sometimes the way my heart breaks I’m not sure I believed that.
  • But I always got back up on my feet.
  • Life continued.
  • Wounds become more of a saving grace than a crutch.
  • There is nothing you can’t get through, no matter how impossible that seems.
  • You will make it, you will be ok, and you will be alright.
  • Trust yourself and trust that this journey is one that is a part of your becoming.

There comes a time where you decide you deserve more, deserve better, and you decide for yourself…”

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