We’re all the stars of our own blockbuster life stories, with epic highs, dramatic lows, and a colourful cast of characters—think allies, lovers, mentors, family, and more! The tales we spin for ourselves can be very powerful. They can either pave our path to joy or trap us in a dungeon of blame and doubt.
What we don’t realise about seeing ourselves as the VICTIM is that in doing so we assign the role of VILLAIN to others – an assignment against which any human will always need to DEFEND.
On life’s winding road, like it or not, we encounter peeps who impact us—some sprinkle sunshine, others toss a few clouds. When stormy characters blow our way, we’re quick to label them Villains, spinning them into our personal melodramas. We paint them as the evil masterminds behind our setbacks, feeling all righteous and indignant, convinced they’re plotting against us.
But wait! Here’s the twist: these so-called Villains aren’t plotting our downfall. They’re just living their lives, following their own scripts. The truth was that these people weren’t bad people, they just had different agendas than I did and were following them. That had nothing to do with me, yet I was using the story I’d created to make them into Villains. I realized I’d conjured up tales of betrayal, casting people as Villains to play the Victim myself. Oops.
So, I made a list of my “Villains” and gave those stories a fresh look.
I asked myself: What’s their side? What might be driving them? The toughest question was, what do I gain from seeing them as Villains?
Turns out, playing the Victim came with perks—complaining privileges, excuses galore, a dash of righteousness, and buckets of sympathy.
But at what cost? I’d handed over my power, trading my protagonist role for a powerless victim card.
(Side note: This revelation might sting a bit. Sometimes people hurt others because they’re hurting themselves. If you’ve been wronged, recognize that holding onto that story just makes you a Victim, and you deserve to be the Hero.
My awesome, classy grandma Matilda Augusta Stein would say;
‘If shoes or people hurt you, they’re not for you’.
The secret sauce of successful folks?
No Villains allowed!
They face setbacks, deal with tricky people, but they never hand out Villain roles.
This keeps them empowered, ready to bounce back and shine brighter.