I’ll remember you. You danced through my waking thoughts, painted my sweetest memories, and starred in my dearest dreams. I’ll remember you. You reached into my soul, opened my eyes, and rewrote my very existence. I’ll remember you. I found you in the flowers, the stars, the sunsets, and the endless waves of the ocean and sweep of the horizon. I’ll remember you. I etched your presence into my palm, I carried you close, but now you are gone. Then, I fluttered into a solo social butterfly, not by choice, but because growth sometimes demands it. I adventured, indulged in fresh flower deliveries every Friday, wined and dined myself, savoured my own company at movies, dressed to the nines for ladies’ day at the races, enjoyed long lunches on Whitehaven Beach, snagged festival tickets, camped under starry skies, embraced quiet seaside moments, explored nature, grew my bank balance, lent a hand to others, and wrote my heart out. A rescue dog wagged into my life, sharing unconditional love. Thank you for being a chapter in my book. Wishing you a life brimming with joy and the love I could no longer bestow.
As time goes by, You will loosen your grip on that rock, The one you always thought was home, And you will realise that home is not a place, It’s a state of mind. Let it go. As time goes by, You will learn to see yourself more clearly, The girl who was always too much of one thing, And too little of another, was actually Everything she needed to be. Let her out. As time goes by, You will let the simple things become the big, And you will allow the big things to become the simple, And that readjustment will be, The day you really start to live, Let it be. As time goes by, You will be forced to say goodbye many times, And your soft little heart will shatter but, It will still beat and that will bring you, All the purpose you need. Let it beat. As time goes by, You will stop choosing wealth over peace, You will stop choosing money over time, And you will see that the treasures you need, Are in the smiles and the laughter. Let them in. As time goes by, The moments you remember when your life flashes past, Are never the awful memories my friend, it’s the joy, The summer nights, the lazy days with loved ones, The midnight chats and the morning hugs, Let them happen. Let them all happen.
“Life Got In The Way”
“Life got in the way”—a phrase that’s become the ultimate excuse. But can we hit pause on this saying, pretty please? What are we really telling ourselves when we use it?
Sure, we know it’s code for “I planned to do X, but then—cue the dramatic music—other stuff happened!” Maybe it was priorities, distractions, or a surprise plot twist like a broken car or a sick kid or you had to move house. But instead of blaming life, why not say, “I couldn’t make X a priority,” or “I discovered Y was more my jam than X”?
Let’s face it, life isn’t the villain here. It’s the rollercoaster ride we all signed up for, with choices, epic experiences, and lessons in every loop-de-loop. Crying “life got in the way” kinda sells short the wild, wonderful mess that is existence. Instead, let’s own the many reasons that shape our path, knowing they’re part of life’s grand tapestry.
By flipping our script, we start to savour the journey, not just the missed pit stops.
It’s about being present, soaking up joy, and tackling hurdles with flair and resilience.
Life’s not a roadblock—it’s the road itself, a masterpiece in progress with every decision and experience adding vibrant strokes.
So, let’s give “life” a high-five for being the way, not in the way. It’s our daily invitation to grow, connect, and make memories that colour our world. Let’s dive in with open hearts, ready for whatever wild adventures await! It’s never, ever too late to start living the life you want.
Come on. Take responsibility for yourself and focus on what you can control and influence. Stop blaming others or using their excuses for your own. Run your own race!
When you believe in your heart that you’re on the right path, keep going. You can’t live in fear about what others will think of you. I find this is the excuse and fear that held me back for far too long from living the life of my dreams. Now? I’m living that life each day. Do what you love, exercise your freedom to do it and do so with supreme confidence and faith.
When I am feeling old, I practice seeing myself in the mirror aged a hundred and three, with as few months left as I can count on my hand. And suddenly, what was once worth one moment is now worth a hundred. And I remind myself, “In this moment, you are the youngest that you will ever be. Do not wait to feel beautiful. And do not let your beauty be limited by the reflection that you see.”
I turn to Dr. Seuss for this one.:
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.“
Sometimes, doubts about your partner are just a mirror reflecting your own self-doubt.
It’s worth peeking into your own soul first when those doubts creep in. Could it be that deep down, you’re projecting your own actions? If you doubt you can trust them, maybe you’re not sure they should trust you either. Or if you doubt they love you, could it be you haven’t quite nailed the self-love thing?
Let’s flip the golden rule on its head: pamper yourself the way you’d want others to treat you.
You’re like a magnet, drawing in what you reflect. It’s all about that good energy vibe, baby!
Emotionally tuned-in folks? They’ll be drawn to your glowing aura.
Imagine how you’d like someone to respond when you’re in a pickle – now give yourself that same TLC.
* Stand by your values and live them loud!
* Self-care like it’s your full-time gig.
* Check in on any unresolved anger.
* Put yourself out there, and embrace the unfamiliar!
Your nervous system loves the same old jam, but it’s time for a new track. If someone doesn’t give you the usual butterfly circus, it might just be a good sign!
No more projects, people! They’re not fixer-uppers; they’ve got to hit their own potential.
Butterflies? Turns out they were my gut saying, “U-turn!” Trust your gut GPS.
When you’re emotionally balanced, your intuition is your North Star. It’s a wild ride, but spotting your values and dealing with unresolved anger are massive steps forward. Believe in your worth and know when to sail on. It’s hard, but it’s all about honouring the fabulous you. Keep faith in your journey!
Learning to live is learning to let go.
“Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil; With them forgive yourself.”
– William Shakespeare
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Accept the fact that some people will never like you no matter what.
Some folks just can’t stand flying solo, even for a hot minute. They’re like relationship trapeze artists, swinging from one romance to the next, a bit wobbly on the conflict resolution front. When the honeymoon spark fades, they discard and move onto the next.
Then there are those who ditch long-term partners, lured by the “greener grass” mirage, only to discover it’s more of a dried-up lawn over there.
For those left behind in a breakup, ghosting is like being trapped in a mystery novel with no ending. The ghoster walks away scot-free, leaving the ghosted to puzzle over what happened. Even if they find happiness with someone new, the unresolved plot twist might lead them to peek at their ex’s social media now and then.
Some never really move on. Take the woman I knew who dated a guy for five years. When he said he wasn’t into marriage, he eventually met and married someone else in a flash. Meanwhile, his first love was left heartbroken, stuck in the past while nothing ever matched up to that five-year romance.
It was a heart-wrenching story.
These are just a handful of scenarios in the wild world of relationships. But ultimately, if someone decides to walk away, the best move for your own sanity is to let them go. Stop fearing the unknown.
Loss can feel unbearable, but sometimes, it is simply clearing the way for something better.
My nuggets of wisdom collected on this wild ride…
“Wherever you go, there you are.”
Who do I want to bring to wherever I am? Do we really want to carry around the self-blaming, shamed version of ourselves when freedom from it is possible? Any knot has the capacity to be untangled, including self-torture. Isn’t it time??
we give what we tolerate
my life’s value is from the inside
the trauma was needed so I can be the version of me
become better not bitter
pick peace over pleasure
I am the creator of my life
I’m safe to succeed
I’m free to create a new path
I am willing to release the need to feel unworthy. I am deserving of the best in life, & I now lovingly accept it
the correct person for me is waiting for me to step into my best self
We cannot control what happened in the past, but we can transform how we relate to the contents of our minds right now
What is meant to leave will leave, no matter how desperately you try to hold on.
What is meant to stay will find a way, no matter how uncertain things seem.
My awesome grandma, Matilda Augusta Stein, would say: Life always finds a way to balance itself, even when we can’t see how.
There is a rhythm to life, a natural order of endings and beginnings.
When we resist that flow, we create suffering. We cling to what is breaking, fearing that nothing good will replace it. But this is an illusion. The only thing keeping you from it is your attachment to what no longer belongs to you. And never, for a second, believe that the best is behind you.
Life does not stop offering beauty just because you have suffered hardship. The good has not run out. There is still more joy to experience, more love to receive, more people to be found.
But you must be willing to make room for it.
So, ask yourself – What am I holding onto that is holding me back? And when you find the answer, trust yourself enough to let it go. Something better is already on its way.
Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it.
Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.
Taking care of yourself is crucial for caring for others; a healthy tree yields better fruit.
Self-love is essential for a fulfilling life, as it fosters self-respect and enables you to put your needs first without guilt. Contrary to the belief that self-love is selfish, it enhances your ability to care for your body, mind, and spirit, and creates a cycle of giving and receiving love.
At the core of the ideal balance between giving and receiving lies reciprocity.
At the core of the ideal balance between giving and receiving lies reciprocity. When we give wholeheartedly and accept with gratitude, we create a beautiful rhythm of mutual support and care.
This reciprocity goes beyond personal relationships, generating ripples that foster a more compassionate and interconnected world. By giving and receiving with intention and mindfulness, we contribute to a greater tapestry of generosity, empathy, and collective well-being.
An Ongoing Journey
Finding the perfect balance between giving and receiving is a continuous journey that demands self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to adapt and evolve. With grace and wisdom, we can navigate this delicate equilibrium, fostering a world where both giving and receiving are honoured as vital elements of the human experience.
Where do you find challenges in giving and receiving?
Practicing self-love daily fills gaps left by external sources of love, as no one understands your innermost thoughts and needs better than you do.
I hope you love the hell out of yourself, But Always Try To Be Better Than Yesterday… I hope you fill yourself with light, become light, create light. I hope you love yourself with such passion and fierceness, the people around you have no choice but to match.
Celebrate your unique journey and accept your complexities. Reject societal pressures that make you feel inadequate, and distance yourself from those who don’t respect you. True self-love involves continuous growth and self-acceptance. Strive for improvement for your own sake, never settle for less, and cultivate your self-worth. Embrace joy, laugh, dance, and live life fully, creating memories you can be proud of.
A butterfly was finally busting out of the chilly, shadowy cocoon where I’d been tucked away forever.
It was terrifyingly fresh yet absurdly freeing and electrifying.
In a lightning bolt of insight, a string of epiphanies melted away my foggy brain:
Real, deep love springs from within.
My feelings are my own to choose.
Relying solely on someone else’s love will never fill my cup.
If I don’t genuinely love myself, how can I expect anyone else to do so?
The way I pamper myself is the blueprint for how others should treat me.
No matter how good a person you are, you are evil in someone’s story.
The Importance of Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness is essential for breaking free from the constraints of past mistakes and negative thoughts. Holding onto self-blame traps us in unhappiness, while forgiving ourselves allows us to embrace the present and access inner wisdom.
Sometimes, sealing the deal on forgiveness with something tangible helps: write yourself a heartfelt letter, go on a soul-cleansing hike, or create something symbolic, like a mini sculpture or a pile of rocks, to mark the end of your guilt. Decide it’s over, mark it, and agree to let it go officially.
Life’s like a clumsy dance through a maze of mistakes.
According to finance guru Dave Ramsey, that glittering mountain of success is just a heap of your past blunders, with you proudly perched on top instead of buried beneath. Sure, he’s talking business, but this wisdom waltzes right into our relationships too.
When you stumble and can’t shake off the guilt, grab a trusty pen and paper and jot down the lessons learned, old-school style! Putting it down on paper helps you release it, and keeping it visible might just stop that guilt from boomeranging back. Plus, it’s a nifty trick to avoid repeating the same slip-up.
Admit You’re Not Perfect
Spoiler alert: None of us is! Made a mistake? Yep. Know someone else who’s messed up? Absolutely. Think someone’s botched it worse than you? Definitely. We’re all paddling in the same boat. Realizing this helps you see you’re no worse than the rest of us mere mortals (and hey, you might even be in the top 50%!). This realization can help you forgive yourself.
Now, don’t get it twisted – “everyone else does it” isn’t a free pass to hurt others or make poor choices.
Stop Replaying the Event
Got that blunder stuck on replay in your noggin? Totally normal, but there’s a time to hit pause and move on. Haven’t asked for forgiveness yet? Do it. Is there more you can do to fix things? Do that too. But if you’ve done it all and the mental video keeps looping, hit stop! Swap it for a new, happier reel.
Receive the Grace You’d Give Others
If someone else pulled the same stunt, would you forgive them? Would you cut them some slack knowing nobody’s perfect, and you care too much to hold a grudge? Then maybe it’s time to flip that grace around and give yourself a break. Remember, you’re not so special that you need more forgiveness than anyone else. If you can extend grace to others, give some to yourself too!
Learn the Lessons:
Self-blame leads to guilt and shame.
Forgiveness liberates us, revealing our rights to feel good and at peace. Embracing uncomfortable feelings can guide us toward valuable lessons.
Ultimately, we must choose between suffering and freedom, self-blame and openness.
What will you choose?
Craft a positive plan for the future, and let bygones be bygones.
Some of the most expensive things in Life can’t be bought with a wallet:
. Love .Care .Mental Peace .Happiness .Loyalty
? Love — True love is like a unicorn! Not just the mushy kind, but the kind that sees your ugly cry, lifts you when you’re down, and throws confetti at your successes. It’s elusive and, once it’s gone, hard to replace. ? Care — Real care doesn’t come with a receipt. When someone checks in just because, stands by you without uttering a word, or supports you with zero strings attached—that’s pure gold. ?♂️ Mental Peace — In this circus of life with endless comparisons and noise, finding inner peace is like scoring a VIP pass. You earn it by setting boundaries, healing old wounds, and ditching what doesn’t vibe with your soul. ? Happiness — True happiness isn’t hiding in your wallet. It’s in life’s little moments— a warm hug, fresh sheets, morning brews, hot showers and bubble baths, sitting in a sauna or hot tub, sunsets, sunrises, barefoot beach walks, dancing in the rain, listening to music, watching clouds and the stars, long straight highways with your windows down, pillow fights, swinging on a swing, swimming at night, stop and smell the wildflowers, frisbee throwing, home movies and popcorn, massage candles, helping a person in need, deep chats, giving a compliment to a friend or stranger and belly laughs. Many chase it for ages, only to find out it’s not about abundance, but about contentment. ?️ Loyalty — In this era of fleeting connections, loyalty is a rare diamond. Someone who sticks around in storms, defends you when you’re not there, and stays true even when tempted—that’s a treasure.
These gems don’t carry price tags but often demand time, trust, and emotional investment. Treasure those who offer them sincerely. And strive to be the person who gives them, too.
“Once you grow up, you realize you don’t want to be crazy in love, you want to be calm in love” – the wisdom bomb! It’s all about craving a love that’s as chill as Sunday morning pancakes, not a rollercoaster of wild emotions and drama. This shift means valuing emotional zen, respect, and a cosy sense of stability.
The journey from “crazy in love” to “calm in love” is all about crafting a lasting love story built on respect, understanding, and emotional fortitude.
Two people can stick together like peanut butter and jelly forever if they whip up a relationship cocktail of mutual respect, chatty openness, and a sprinkle of shared commitment.
They’ve got to be ready to do the cha-cha of compromise, give each other personal dance floors, and team up like dynamic duos. Love, trust, and shared values are the secret sauce that holds the whole recipe together!
Have you ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same type of relationships, filled with heartbreak and feelings of inadequacy? Despite efforts to choose differently, you may find yourself repeating past cycles.
Key points to remember:
You are not broken or unlucky in love.
You’re not choosing the wrong partners, but rather what feels familiar.
Your past and subconscious beliefs shape your relationship choices.
Awareness of these patterns is the first step to breaking free.
Many people experience frustrations in love, often questioning why they attract similar issues, like emotional unavailability or feeling unworthy.
The root cause lies in the subconscious mind:
Your nervous system craves familiarity, even if it’s unhealthy.
What feels like love may simply be what feels normal based on childhood experiences.
The brain is wired to repeat known patterns, leading to the recreation of unstable emotional dynamics.
Understanding these factors can help you break the cycle and create healthier relationships.
For years, I believed love was something to earn by being good enough, resulting in choosing partners who mirrored my past wounds—distant and emotionally unavailable. I learned that I was repeating familiar patterns shaped by my childhood and past heartbreaks. Awareness of these patterns can lead to healing and help break free from cycles of attracting unhealthy relationships.
Key signs of being stuck in a relationship pattern include:
Attracting emotionally unavailable partners.
Feeling the need to earn love.
Experiencing repeated conflicts or disappointments.
Rushing into relationships or avoiding commitment.
Feeling anxious when love feels stable.
To break these patterns, one must:
Cultivate awareness of recurring patterns and personal roles.
Release emotional baggage from past relationships. We all have baggage; Turn that baggage into stylish luggage.
Establish new standards for love based on self-worth.
Healing is an active choice, and recognizing these patterns is the first step toward creating fulfilling love. You have the power to change your love story and attract the healthy relationships you deserve.
Journal Prompt:
1. When did I last feel like the star of a supportive relationship? What made that stand out from my usual routines?
2. What would love feel like if I didn’t have to earn it?
3. How would I show up differently if I truly believed I was already enough?
4. What is the most common conflict or pattern historically in my relationships? What does that pattern remind me of from my past?
5. Do I tend to rush into relationships or avoid them? What am I really afraid of?
6. What feels more comfortable to me, chaos or calm? Why?
7. If love in childhood felt inconsistent or unpredictable, you might chase partners who make you feel the same way, mistaking emotional highs and lows for passion.
Journal Prompt: How did the love I received as a child shape my view of relationships today?
8. If someone you trusted left you suddenly, you might find yourself choosing partners who can’t commit or pushing people away before they can hurt you first.
Journal Prompt: What past heartbreaks or painful moments might still be influencing my relationships today?
9. If you believe I have to work for love, you might over-give, over-function, and ignore red flags just to feel chosen and loved.
Journal Prompt: What beliefs about love am I holding onto that might not be true?
10. The first and most important step in breaking any cycle is awareness.
You can’t change what you don’t see.
Ask yourself:
What patterns keep showing up in my relationships?
What role do I play in these patterns? (Am I the one chasing? Over-giving? Ignoring red flags?)
What beliefs have I carried that keep me stuck? (Do I believe love has to be hard?
That I have to earn love? That I’m not enough?)
Example: If you always find yourself in relationships where you feel unseen or unappreciated, there may be an underlying belief that says I have to prove my worth in love. Until you rewrite that belief, you’ll keep choosing partners who reinforce it.
Journal Prompt: What’s one relationship pattern I recognize in myself? Where do I think it started?
11. The Second Step is Releasing Emotional Baggage – Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You
Healing isn’t just about knowing what’s wrong, it’s about choosing to release what’s no longer yours to carry.
Example: If you’ve been hurt before, you may instinctively guard yourself, expecting betrayal before it even happens. But that fear keeps you locked in the past, unable to experience the love available to you now.
Journal Prompt: What past wound am I still carrying into my relationships? What would it feel like to finally let it go?
12. Step 3: Creating New Relationship Standards – Loving Yourself First
Breaking a cycle isn’t just about stopping old behaviours, it’s about creating new ones that honour your worth.
Set Boundaries That Align With Self-Worth Stop abandoning yourself to keep someone else. Boundaries teach others how to treat you, and more importantly, they teach you how to treat yourself.
Practice Self-Love Daily The more you value yourself, the less you will chase, tolerate, or settle for relationships that drain you. Healthy love starts with YOU.
Example: If you always attract emotionally unavailable partners, ask yourself: Am I being emotionally available to myself? Am I prioritizing my needs, my feelings, and my happiness first?
Journal Prompt: What is one new standard I am setting for love in my life?
“You will keep attracting the same lesson until you decide you’re ready to heal your heartbreak and let love in again.”
This is your invitation to break the cycle. To choose healing, self-worth, and love that feels good.
You are not your past, you are your next choice.
The Love You Deserve is Already Waiting for You
What’s Next? Your Journey to Love Starts Here
Your Next Chapter Begins Now
“The moment I stopped seeking validation for my worth was the moment I ceased repeating the same heartbreak.”
This is your opportunity to break free from the cycle, rewrite your love narrative, and embrace the love that has been waiting for you all along.
Are you prepared to claim it?
This isn’t just about identifying your patterns; it’s about realizing that you possess the power to change them. However, true transformation occurs when you take action.
Take a moment to pause. Grab your journal, open your notes app, or simply sit with these questions:
What is one relationship pattern you’ve observed repeating in your life?
What is one belief about love that you’re ready to release?
Write it down. Name it. Because once you bring awareness to it, you can finally break free from its hold.
Music is life’s unofficial teacher, and the ever-enchanting Sting, once an English teacher – no surprise because he spins magic with his lyrics. I could swim in his melodies, feeling all the feels, for hours!
Sting is a decent human, a devoted dad, grandparent and a loyal partner.
Sting and Trudie Styler share a love story that spans decades, filled with mutual respect, creativity, and passion.
Trudie spills the relationship success beans: “We laugh a lot !I think that’s important in a marriage. He has my back; he’s my champion.”
“Obviously there has to be a chemistry — that’s why we can stay together for as long as we’ve been together.”
“We have space apart because he tours and I go and do the things that I have to do with my films — we don’t live in each other’s pockets.”
So what are Sting and Trudie’s secrets to marital success?
They don’t only love each other as husband and wife, but also as friends and individuals.
Because they give each other freedom to be themselves and live their own lives, when they come back together again, the way they feel for each other is electric.
“When she comes into a room, she lights a room up for me and I think the same applies for her,” Sting admitted, before joking: “But you’d have to ask her.”
So sparks still fly between the two when they’re together, which is what we all want out of a long and loving partnership.
“We love each other — which is a given!” Sting reiterated. “But we also like each other, I think there’s a difference.”
I wanna be in love with someone who is equally as in love with me and I don’t want it to just be love. I want us to be best friends and to adore and respect each other and to fit together like puzzle pieces. TBH I have faith I will find that.
Why Should I Cry for You?: My go-to anthem for shaking off past love and embracing the future.
Fortress Around Your Heart: Navigates the tricky maze of emotional walls in relationships.
Russians: A melodic dive into Cold War jitters with a universal plea for peace.
Fields of Gold: A dreamy serenade about love and the passage of time.
Shape of My Heart: Peeks beneath life’s shiny exterior to ponder its true odds.
Something the Boy Said: A haunting nudge to pay attention to life’s cautionary tales.
Every Breath You Take: The ultimate anthem of obsession, often mistaken for a love ballad.
Roxanne: A reggae-rock mashup dripping with unrequited longing.
Message in a Bottle: A tune about feeling like a lone sailor searching for a friend across the ocean.
Don’t Stand So Close to Me: A spicy tale of the tangled web between teacher and student.
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic: Celebrating the spell of infatuation.
Solo Career…
Fields of Gold: A golden, reflective melody steeped in love and nostalgia.
Desert Rose (featuring Cheb Mami) – A sonic mix of East meets West, diving into themes of yearning.
Englishman in New York: A cultural commentary that’s as classy as a cup of afternoon tea.
Shape of My Heart: A soulful serenade about destiny’s quirks and life’s complexities.
If I Ever Lose My Faith in You: A deep dive into the mysteries of trust and belief in life’s ride.
Sting’s lyric-driven tunes hit the heartstrings hard, offering nuggets of wisdom with every beat.
“Love is for lovers and not strangers” conjures a cosy image of love that sticks around and doesn’t vanish into thin air, even if the romance takes a detour. It’s a gentle goodbye, honouring the years someone gifted you with the two most precious treasures—love and time. It’s a sweet hope that the connection is grown-up enough to end with compassion. Love doesn’t hurt you. A person that doesn’t know how to love hurts you. Don’t get it twisted.
I think Love is the most incredible thing in the world — but when people lie, cheat, and betray our trust, we become bitter, we blame love — we start losing hope in love.
The worst part about the heartbreak is that we lose ourselves trying to hold on to that person who doesn’t care at all.
We start saying “I am afraid to fall in love because I don’t want to get hurt again”.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt. Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true.
However, Love Never Hurts!
It’s the caring and certain things which, your loved ones used to do for you, hurts you when you don’t get it.
Like every other couple, you start blaming your partner for the breakup and then keep on exaggerating that “one shouldn’t fall in love” and “one should fall in love to realize why one shouldn’t” and all.
You don’t receive good morning texts anymore. You feel hurt and miss him/her.
You don’t get hugs anymore. You feel hurt and miss him/her more.
You don’t have someone who cutely cares for you(except mum). You feel hurt and miss him/her more.
You don’t have someone whom you can talk dirty with surety. You feel hurt and miss him/her more.
You don’t have someone to share the good stuff with. They were the first person you turned to when feeling down and the first person you wanted to share your successes and aspirations with. You feel hurt and miss him/her more.
Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.
You can’t make them care, can’t make them want you, can’t make them act right, but what you can do is make sure you don’t put yourself in situations where you’re not valued, or respected or cherished as you deserve, you have that right, that power to not stay where you aren’t being loved.
Whenever you catch yourself missing someone who left your life, remember that each day they wake up and make a conscious decision to leave you out of their life. They wake up and choose to maintain the silence, to not talk to you. And they don’t care if the space between you gets larger. That itself is a powerful closure.
From Love to Strangers
Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.
Love truly, be fearless — accept the person the way they are — because true love sees beyond all imperfections.
Someone who truly loves you sees what a mess you can be, how woowoo you can get, and how hard you can be to handle but still wants you.
True love makes you happy in a way that you have never been happy before. It heals your broken parts and lifts you up.
Don’t let things and circumstances change you into someone you’re not.
If you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one.
Your relationship should erase your tears, not your smile. True love doesn’t hurt, it heals.
Love brings happiness to your life. It empowers you to become the best version of yourself.
A real love is supposed to feel euphoric and spontaneous.
The most amazing and romantic things aren’t in materialistic stuff. The things that matter the most are those little things you do every day to show the significant other that you care and that you’re thinking of them. When you love someone unconditionally, you’d go out of your way to make them happy and feel special.
True love knows someone’s weakness and doesn’t take advantage of them. It knows their flaws and still accepts them.
Always remember that when love is real, it doesn’t lie, cheat, pretend, hurt you or make you feel unwanted. It’s supposed to be a cure to all your worries.
Real love means to stay together and never give up. You don’t give up on the people you love.
But True love? Love heals, makes us strong, and is the most beautiful feeling we can experience.
“Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile.”
– Mia Asher
A person that really loves you wouldn’t give up on you no matter how hard the situation is — when it’s real you can’t walk away.
As humans, we can disappoint one another. We pledge love before truly understanding its meaning. We betray trust, break hearts, and make mistakes. Ultimately, loving one another teaches us about love itself – a beautiful and unique force unlike anything else in the world.
Love, respect, and acceptance are very important in any healthy relationship.
Don’t change yourself just to make someone love you. Be yourself and let the right one fall for you.
Real love doesn’t ask you to lose yourself in order to win someone over.
True love values you as you are, without needing to chase it down or prove yourself.
People nowadays try to change you into their own definition of perfection. They get caught up in so-called “types” that makes me want to spew.
It’s ridiculous how much society says things like “I want a short, thin lady with long straight black hair and body piercings and not to be over 45 years old, I want a 6ft man with a six pack, tattoos and blonde curly hair” and blah blah blah!
What most of those people fail to realize is that looks change, and fade. How about a dude or woman with a youthful spirit, who treats you right, protects your happiness, your heart and your peace, who looks in your eyes and you can see how much they truly love you and admire your company?
Maybe someone who even in their worst moods will still do what they can to make you smile?
That’s something you should be looking for.
It is wonderful when the person you love loves you back, but that doesn’t happen all the time, which is why it is also deemed a miracle.
Sometimes, the feeling isn’t mutual and there is nothing that you can do but accept it.
It is no one’s obligation to reciprocate anyone’s feelings. If they don’t feel the same way, then they don’t feel the same way.
I bet you don’t want to be forced to love someone, so don’t force them to love you, too. It is selfish.
Being an unrequited lover tastes bittersweet. One day, you are happy and feel in love. The next day, it feels painful because the feeling isn’t mutual.
And it is addictive, but it is a different kind of addiction than the one you know.
It is like this: When you have been an unrequited lover for so long, you forget how it feels to be in a mutual love situation, so mutual feelings become scary.
The feeling of not being loved back is familiar, so you will choose not to be loved back.
As a result, you are stuck in the unrequited love circle.
I guess my point is, yes, love is a choice, but don’t settle for less.
Let love be love. Like they say, you accept the love you think you deserve.
”You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world… but you do have some say in who hurts you.”
– John Green, The Fault In Our Stars
Spot the difference between needing and wanting someone or something, and you’ll crack the mystery of life!
Wanting?
That’s like lusting after that gleaming rose gold iPhone, the snazzy Chanel bag, or the epic Robert Palmer / ACDC concert tickets. (Imagine the thrill—if only those tickets were priced like a burger! And seeing Robert Palmer live again? Swoon!) But surprise twist—these shiny treasures aren’t the essentials. Your wants might be fleeting whims or intense cravings, but they’re not what keeps the world spinning.
Now, oxygen, that’s a no-brainer need. You don’t daydream about it, but it’s the VIP of essentials—sans it, life’s a no-go. But when you’re gasping for air, that need turns into a full-blown want, as you yearn for it like your life depends on it—literally.
Funny how we only see the true value of things once they’re gone, right?
So, want and need might seem like distant cousins, but sometimes they’re practically twins.
Which leads to the million-dollar question:
What is Love?
Drumroll, please: “Love is when you want what you need, and need what you want.”
Picture this: Love often kicks off with a want. When Cupid strikes, you crave that special someone intensely. There’s the lust factor, sure, but there’s a deeper pull, a soul-level craving that satisfies yet leaves you yearning for more. Some liken it to a drug—a bewitching addiction to another human.
As time ticks on, you and your sweetheart start syncing up like a well-rehearsed comedy duo, with secret codes, inside jokes, and shared habits. That budding familiarity brings comfort and acceptance—not just from their love for you, but from the way they embrace your love.
And there it is: the magic moment where want morphs into need. You’ve intertwined so seamlessly that this person isn’t just a lover anymore—they’re your confidant, your cheerleader, your rock.
Whether romantic or otherwise, reciprocated or not, love is extraordinary and deserving of appreciation, as it unveils within you, the lover, a distinct and noble potential.
Respect can’t be bought – it must be earned. Your past doesn’t determine how far you’ll go, but it can determine the strength that pushes you forward. Never be ashamed of where you come from. It only fears one thing: that you’ll give up before even trying.
For years, I endured invalidation from others, believing that making them happy would bring me love and acceptance.
I internalized their dissatisfaction, neglecting my own needs and self-worth. Despite my selfless efforts, I became an emotional dumping ground, leading to my exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy.
A revealing dream illustrated my struggles, prompting me to question my beliefs about kindness and self-worth. I realized that my people-pleasing habits were detrimental, as they didn’t lead to the validation I sought.
To find love and respect, I needed to change my perceptions and behaviours.
Key lessons include:
Treating myself with love means not sacrificing my boundaries or internalizing others’ issues.
Saying “no” when necessary and respecting my needs is crucial.
I must stop deriving my worth from others’ approval.
Recognizing these patterns allows me to reclaim my identity and prioritize my well-being, ultimately leading to genuine love and respect from within.
The difference between a memory that weighs us down and one that propels us forward is the energy we give to it.
Accepting what happened does not mean justifying it—it means seeing it as part of the larger landscape of life.
True acceptance is not passive; it is a conscious decision to stop resisting the past so that energy can be directed toward shaping what comes next.
The way memories age is less about what happened and more about how we carry them.
When we hold onto pain, resentment, or shame without understanding, those memories become burdens.
Healing Isn’t About Avoiding Pain, It’s About Not Letting Pain Choose for You
Understanding our role—what we ignored, misunderstood, or mishandled—helps explain patterns that may repeat. Mistakes are not signs of permanent failure; they are markers of growth when sincerely acknowledged. Through this process, the past loses its power to define and begins to inform.
Embracing the future requires reclaiming the past with clarity. Not to relive it, but to learn from it.
This is how the present opens up possibilities. The way memories age is less about what happened and more about how we carry it.
When we hold onto pain, resentment, or shame without understanding, those memories become burdens.
But when we meet those moments with honesty and reflection, they soften into lessons.
Meet Betty and Mervyn, the dynamic duo who’ve danced through life together since their teenage years and are now rocking their 90s! They even kicked off their honeymoon at the Melbourne Olympics back in 1956! I count myself lucky to know such a fabulous couple who are all about love, loyalty, and honest hearts. Watching them together is like binge-watching the best love story ever—I’m glued to every adorable moment, soaking in all that sweet, sweet love!
My love language is quality time. I want to see your face. I want to hang out and go on date nights or we can cook and stay in, order a pizza and watch movies, bake some cakes or light a big bonfire. It’s about the quality time spent together.
True love makes you feel safe.
When love is genuine, it doesn’t demand.
It doesn’t force or control.
It doesn’t beg to be noticed.
It flows naturally.
Lust is the lowest level a person can go; not because wanting someone is wrong, but because when the ego takes over, it spins its own selfish and dirty ways.
It’s not about connection, real presence, or respect; it’s driven by desperation, a desire not for intimacy, but for escape.
He doesn’t really see her, he turns her into a goal; hunting and taking not out of genuine attraction and passion—but out of emptiness.
Lust driven by ego disrespects the feminine, it wants to control and dominate her completely.
He’s not in touch with the soul; he’s reacting from a lost part of himself that he hasn’t yet faced.
Pleasure becomes comfort and escape from his habits.
And even after the chase is over, he still feels empty; because nothing real has touched him.
He’s not opening up. He’s not connecting. He’s just continuing to feed his ever-starving ego.
But there’s another kind of man.
The conscious one; the one who faces his pain and doesn’t let it take him. He doesn’t chase the highs too quickly, he uses that energy to build something real, to grow and create. He knows the difference between wanting someone and needing someone to feel good.
His energy doesn’t scatter—it hones. It builds. He doesn’t see women as victories, but as reflections of something beautiful. He doesn’t try to take but to see, connect, and lift. His desire isn’t harsh, it’s steady and real; it’s not to avoid something, but to share, feel, and grow together.
He doesn’t operate from ego, lust, he operates from truth, presence, and soul.
I believe, one day you do find someone who can turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another person. That’s the person worth keeping in your life.
I wanna be kissed, rubbed, grabbed and hugged all day. I’m so affectionate. I like compliments and forehead kisses. Open my door for me. Ask me if I’m okay, do I wanna ride with you, take random pictures and videos cause you want memories of me in your phone. Like LOVE ME!!!
You & your partner owe not a single soul an explanation for how you pursue your relationship. How quickly it progresses or how slowly you take things. Your relationship is on YOUR terms and follows YOUR rules. When it comes to your soul, rules are meant for bending! The legendary funny man Charlie Chaplin once penned to his daughter, Geraldine, advising her to share her body only with those who can feel her soul. Sometimes, you meet someone and just instantly feel their soul groove!
Nobody is easy to be with, we all suffer from something. So when you meet someone who is willing to stay committed to understanding you & actually wants to grow with you, don’t let your ego & pride ruin it, real is rare. Remember that!
The theme of lovers becoming strangers is explored in songs like Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know,” which highlights feelings of betrayal and loss, and Bob Dylan’s “I Don’t Believe You (She Acts Like We Never Have Met),” expressing confusion over a sudden disconnection. “Love Ridden” illustrates a more gradual shift from lovers to friends and then to strangers.
The focus on songs that recognize the new relationship formed after the end of a romantic connection, rather than just break-up anthems.
Here’s to a love as rock-solid as Sting and Trudie’s, stuck together like super glue!
May you find someone who loves seeing you happy. Someone who never gives you a reason to be sad and angry. And someone who has a lot of respect for you. May you find someone who tries his best for you. Someone you can trust and who never lets you down. Someone who never gives up on you and someone who will hold you so tight in every hard situation.
May you find someone who loves you unconditionally. You deserve someone who is afraid to lose you and afraid to hurt you. You deserve someone who will do everything to make you feel loved and valued. Someone who would always think about your feelings and respect them. And most importantly, you deserve someone who will never be your reason to love yourself less.
People always say love is a choice.
But I’ve also learned that being chosen is not something you can force.
You can’t love someone into loving you.
You can’t give more in hopes they’ll wake up one day and realize you were the answer all along.
Life doesn’t work that way. Hearts don’t work that way.
Love, in its purest form, has no transaction. It exists simply because it does. I loved them not because they asked for it, but because something in me recognized something in them. I saw the light they carried.
I wanted to be close to it. Even when I knew it wasn’t mine to keep.
And in the quiet moments, when I felt that ache rise in my chest, I reminded myself of this: You may love them, but you cannot force them to choose you or to love you back. That truth held me steady when my heart wanted to run in every direction chasing hope. That truth finally gave me permission to let go, without bitterness. It wasn’t easy – I had to go through the stages of grief and finally seeing the colours back in the rainbow.
You realize that it’s not his fault
For this fact, I know that I can never hate him for what he has done. Love, after all, is a choice. It can be reciprocated or not. We are only human, and it is not his fault if he can’t love me in return. Life is all about free will, after all. I cannot force him to love me, no more than I cannot be forced to love someone I don’t love.
Letting go doesn’t mean the love disappears.
It means accepting that love alone is not enough.
It means recognizing that your heart deserves to be chosen freely, not out of pity or comfort or timing.
It means standing still while someone walks away and knowing that this, too, is part of life.
I wish it had turned out differently. I wish they had looked at me one day and seen all the quiet ways I loved them. I wish the story ended with their hand finding mine, and everything falling into place.
But love doesn’t always write the ending we imagine.
Sometimes it writes something quieter.
A lesson. A memory. A soft place inside you where someone once lived.
So I will keep loving in the way I know how.
Fully. Honestly. Without conditions.
But next time, I will not confuse being close with being chosen.
I will not wait for love to be returned to feel like I matter.
Because I do.
Even if they didn’t choose me. Even if they never do.
Today I choose to be happy!
You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy ~ Jane Marczewski (Nightbirde)
While unrequited love may not be something we outwardly wish to experience, to go from lovers to strangers, finally feeling the pain of loving someone who won’t return your love will ultimately help you become more mature and realistic in your quest for love.
You cannot make someone love you by loving them harder.
But you can love yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go and open your heart to the love that’s truly meant for you.
You are worthy of a love that chooses you, just as you are.
Love can neither be created, nor be destroyed. It can only be transferred from EX to NEXT.
We’ve all got a love switch, but deciding whether to flick it on or off is the ultimate challenge. Making that choice is the biggest challenge that’s why its expected from our upbringing that our families condition us to love by showing and giving us that love which we would in turn give to others.
Spoiler alert: the top two heart-breakers are unhealed childhood trauma and sky-high expectations.
The denial of childhood trauma links to fear/safety (“It’s not safe to think or talk about this and feel how I feel”), and to the dysfunction of one’s emotional and cognitive apparatus in general. This is an extremely painful sphere to explore, and doing so requires a lot of courage, mental capacity, strength, determination, patience, support, and other resources. So, for those of you who are on this self-archeological journey, who are courageously trying to end the cycle of child abuse, heal, and prosper – I admire you! I know from experience how difficult it is; it can be very painful, sad, lonely, stressful, and sometimes seemingly hopeless experience, so I really admire your courage. However, a shitty childhood is no excuse for shitty adults. Using what happened during childhood as an excuse for negative behaviours as an adult come with an expiration date. If what happened to them was over a decade ago, then they need to stop using it. You cannot continue to justify unhealthy behaviours under the pretext of childhood trauma. This reflects a lack of genuine self-awareness.
True self-awareness begins with recognizing your patterns, followed by accepting them and making an earnest effort to change. Without this proactive approach, what may seem like awareness is merely a façade—superficial and inauthentic acceptance. True growth lies in taking responsibility for your healing and transformation.
Even though suffering a traumatic experience may have an impact on our thinking and behaviour, it is still our job to make sure these events don’t wreak havoc on our lives and relationships. This doesn’t mean we are admitting fault for what happened. It means that in spite of it, we still owe it to ourselves to take back our power over the situations and continue to lead happy and fulfilling lives.
“It’s not somebody’s fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it’s for damn sure their responsibility to figure out how they are going to deal with those traumas and make a life out of it.”
“It’s not your fault if your partner cheated and ruined your marriage, but it is for damn sure your responsibility to figure out how to take that pain and how to overcome that and build a happy life for yourself.”
“Fault and responsibility do not go together, it sucks. When something is somebody’s fault, we want them to suffer, we want them punished, we want them to pay, we want it to be their responsibility to fix it, but that’s not how it works.”
“Road to power is in taking responsibility. Your heart. Your life. Your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone.”
For those who have experienced trauma, it is common to develop issues with anger, aggression, anxiety, difficulty trusting others, poor self-esteem, irritability, etc.
For me, the first stages of grief caused me to be pretty irritable, selfish, and needy. I was trying to retreat from all the feelings of sadness and negativity.
While these are common and understandable responses, they are not a justification for poor behaviour.
Your past trauma is never an excuse to act cruel, hateful, or abusive towards the people around you and especially those you love – whether they are in or out of your life.
It’s better to do some authentic self-reflection than to hurt the people we love continuously. Consider seeking professional help if you think it might be necessary or beneficial for you. The bottom line is we can’t let our past pain turn us into a monster who leaves a path of destruction behind everywhere we go. We’re a generation so caught up in blaming and calling everyone else toxic. But the truth is that sometimes you might be the problem. I’m glad I’ve noticed the patterns I needed to fix instead of saying, “That’s just the way I am.” The reality is that if I want healthy relationships with friends and family and a loved one, I have to make an honest effort to manage my attitude and behaviour. I have been around people who have suffered trauma as well as severe anxiety, depression, among other things. I can only imagine how difficult it must be in their shoes and I feel for them. But honestly, it’s not always easy to get along with them either.
No one said it would be easy to heal from past trauma, but it is extremely important to do anything you can. Also, it is perfectly okay to be patient with yourself and ask patience from others while you take your time. Your loved ones should understand that you might need some extra space for a while. The process is a long and winding road, but it is definitely worth it.
So, heal up (become resilient) and love yourself endlessly—sending you all the love!
This whole heal thing – there is no such thing. Life is a revolving door – you may never fully heal – you will recover and bounce back – people will come in your life, and some will be boneheads. Some stories are egregious (how could you fully heal from that) – you don’t need to fully heal to be resilient. I appreciate the obstacles I have gone through, I am not saying they don’t hurt but all I am saying it is not fair to tell people to fully heal – by the time we heal, if it is possible, the next slap in the face arrives and makes us feel inadequate ….become resilient and push back. Don’t ever feel like a failure, when triggers send you back down that dark rabbit hole. Focus on grounding techniques, mindfulness, and breaking the cycle of negative thinking. Identify triggers, practice self-care, and seek support when needed.
And slowly, slowly, the faded colours of life become more vibrant. The world unthaws, and you start to find beauty peeking through in places you would never have expected it. Your grief has left you weary but stronger. You know you will never be the same, and you begin to accept that you must integrate your love and your experiences and continue to live a little warier, a little wiser, and, yes, sometimes feeling just a little bit woowoo!
May everyone keep on becoming resilient and bounce back and keep on setting a better sail.
Stay adventurous and joyful. Journey ahead my warrior friend.
Let’s wrap it up with a twist—going from strangers to sweethearts!
“Discovering a love note in a bottle trumps swiping right on glam selfies any day!”
This whimsical notion swoons over the charm of fate-driven romances, where love blooms unexpectedly, as opposed to the swipe-happy, picture-perfect world of online dating.
Every message in a bottle has the strange, magical power to give the finder more than what was put into it. This is a facet of the romantic nature of messages in bottles. A bottled letter seeking a pen pal can lead to marriage; a note sent out of mere curiosity can lead to friendship; a message in a bottle sent by a deceased loved one can bring their love back into the world, and give their surviving friends and family a final chance to connect.
Sometimes I think finding love in a bottle is not rare at all.
Rather, it’s finding a message in a bottle that doesn’t come from some version of love that’s rare.
How do you find love in a bottle? Believe it or not, it’s really no different from finding love any other way. And if you are a beachcomber, you already know the answer.
It may not be easy, but it’s simple: You just keep looking.
“If you find this, please know a big big heart awaits” “You’re my 7 minutes.” “7 minutes? What’s that all about?” After death, the human brain lives for 7 minutes to replay the best memories of your life.
Lynnie
I’m launching my message in a bottle and eagerly waiting to see where the tide takes it!
