By Lynnie Stein / September 20, 2022

Don’t date men who hate cats

How you treat a cat is an example of how you treat others in general. It’s just more open towards a cat. Respect the lady and her cats and you’ll earn her love and trust. As any cat parent knows, cats do not like someone else making their decisions for them, and they make their displeasure known. 

Is being mean to animals a red flag?

Huge red flag. Today pets, tomorrow people.

  • Medical experts and top law enforcement officials agree: Cruelty to animals is a big red flag.
  • The FBI uses reports of animal abuse in gauging the threat potential of suspected and known criminals, and the American Psychiatric Association identifies such crimes as one of the diagnostic criteria for conduct disorders.
  • Having no emotional attachment to animals at all is a red flag for me because I love animals and I think their lives are as as meaningful as human lives.
  • I understand that some people don’t see it the same way , but just feeling NOTHING for our animal friends makes me feel like they lack empathy.

Men have come and gone through the years but the cats have stayed a constant

It is clear that the cultural conversation around cats needs to change. 

  • Society needs to release its casual hatred of these animals.
  • We cannot pretend that these attitudes don’t stem from far more problematic views towards women and gender roles, or that they don’t have immense consequences for the creatures we project them on.
  • The cats don’t deserve that.
  • If you have something heavy in your heart against cats, seriously take the time to revaluate it. They’re not demons (troublemakers at best), and all they really want 90% of the time is a warm place to nap and a couple of treats.
  • After all the internet joy and laughter they have brought us, I think absolving the hatred is the least we can do in return.

Top Five Cats on Youtube

  • Grumpy Cat. Check out this YouTube channel dedicated to “the grumpiest cat in the world”. …
  • Maru the Cat. With over a half of a million subscribers, Maru is one of the most popular cats on YouTube. …
  • Stalking Cat. This adorable cat loves to stalk its prey, the video camera. …
  • Nora the Piano Cat.

Cats can be excellent companions, and depending on the bond that you develop with them, they are capable of giving you unconditional love, and affection.

  • Around the wonderful wide web stories abound of avoiding a date when a man tells you he doesn’t like cats, or even worse that he has been cruel to cats. I’m convinced (fairly or otherwise) these men feel entitled to unearned obedience and unconditional love, and they probably have some internalised issues with women. Plus, I don’t trust their understandings of consent.

I would say that having no emotional connection with animals is already a giant red flag

As an animal lover, and especially a cat dad, I would say having no emotional attachment to an animal is a red flag in itself for me.

Pretty sure harming animals is a sign of sociopathy. And also a precursor for like serial killer behaviour. So umm yea, run. No slow fade, just byeeeee.

Cruelty to animals is a tell tale trait of anti social personality disorders and psychopathy.

I’m not saying…I’m just saying.

Tails before males. Ghost him quickly. Even he knows the lack of attachment to animals is a red flag.

(Male) for me ‘no attachment to animals’ is no attachment to anything. This is not just a red flag.

  • To start with, cats share 90% of our DNA.
  • So they are very similar to us in many ways, which allows us to “read” them, relate to them in how they move and do things.
  • They are like fluffy little humans on four paws.
  • Contrary to most other animals, their eyes are at the front of their heads, giving them a face that seems more human than that of many other creatures.
  • And they have expressive, beautiful eyes, which further enables us to communicate with them non-verbally.
  • They adapt much to us, using meows to “speak human”, which indicates that they are aware of us and our characteristics.
  • Perhaps you’ve noticed it, adult cats don’t meow at each other, just at us, in an attempt to communicate.
  • They are also with us for much longer than most other pets.
  • Most cats live to at least 16, but I’ve had one live to 20, and there are cats in their 30s.
  • If all that doesn’t make you attached to your cat yet, there’s more:
  • They are creatures of habit who enjoy following a routine, and they will often adapt theirs to that of their owners.
  • So we can live with our cats in a wonderfully regular sort of way, knowing that they will sleep on a certain chair nearby while we work, or come to sit on the couch with us when we turn on the evening news on TV.
  • And they are individuals.
  • No cat is ever the same as another.
  • You learn that when you spend time with them.
  • This is of course true for every creature in the universe, but in the case of cats, it comes with a set of characteristics that are very easy to integrate into a modern household.
  • It’s much easier to accommodate a cat in a city apartment than, say, a cow or a capybara.
  • We bond with individuals, and so we also bond with cats.
  • And finally, they are incredibly beautiful and inviting to the touch.
  • And they like being touched and cuddled.
  • They make great targets for being loved, and reward us by being dignified, amusing, hedonistic little sociopaths you can’t help but adore.
  • No cat is the same. Just look, these are a couple of ours, we are blessed to live with:

Cats are women. (No, seriously.)

Think about it. What’s the opposite of a cat? A dog, right?

  • No, of course not. Animals don’t have opposites.
  • The idea of a dog being the opposite of a cat makes no more sense than the idea of a walrus being the opposite of a chimpanzee.
  • Yet there are so many narratives suggesting cats and dogs are opposites, and therefore natural enemies, even though plenty of people house both pets under their roofs without issue.
  • The truth is cats are so heavily associated with women, and dogs are so heavily associated with men, that many people tend to think of them as being on a binary the way they assume gender to be. (Which it isn’t, by the way.)
  • It’s because of society’s long and storied history of hating, trivializing, and mocking all things associated with women that so many people are far more comfortable with the statement “I hate cats” than “I hate dogs.”
  • The Humane Society Institute for Science and Policy looked at books and print materials dating back to the 60’s such as “The Cat Hater’s Handbook” (1963), “The Official I Hate Cats Book” (1980), and “How to Kill Your Girlfriend’s Cat” (1988) to highlight how commonplace it has always been for people to be very overt about their dislike for these animals, while no such parallel exists for dogs.
  • Turns out, this is actually a ~controversial~ opinion that you can’t just casually drop in conversation. Apparently I shouldn’t go around accusing people of misogyny because they don’t like cats (oops). But since I will die on this hill, I figured why not make it productive and do a deep dive so y’all can also be safe from cat-hating men?
  • Here we go..
  • The world has been associating cats with women/femininity for yonks (literally, there are studies on this), and it comes up everywhere from marketing to witch hunts.
  • Even our language groups women with cats – think the word ‘pussy’or even ‘catty’, which we only use for mean or spiteful women.
  • And don’t even get me started on the term ‘crazy cat lady’ and the sexist hatred society has for women who have cats but not children – because felines symbolise a deviance from child bearing roles, which must be evil and witchy, right?
  • You may be wondering, what has this got to do with men and red flags?
  • Well, it’s important to note that a lot of people already have underlying preconceived biases that feminise cats – and then, when they hate cats, my personal (and maybe chaotic) view is that they’re actually projecting an internalised hatred for femininity instead.
  • Which for a man is obvs a red flag.

People don’t respect the boundaries of women or cats.

  • Cats have clear boundaries.
  • They generally like people who respect them.
  • This largely means not touching them when they don’t want to be touched.
  • This behaviour isn’t weird in the slightest if you ask me.
  • But for many people, the idea of a pet implies a certain right to pick them up and cuddle them whenever the mood strikes.
  • Whenever I witness people failing to have positive interactions with cats, it’s usually because they are attempting to do something the animal clearly dislikes and are refusing to accept the simple answer.
  • If a cat doesn’t want to be picked up, put it down.
  • If it’s not in the mood to be petted, stop touching it.

Like women, cats face more physical abuse.

Unfortunately, like women, cats are often the victims of cruel and unnecessary violence.

Studies show cats are abused at higher rates than dogs or other domestic animals in almost every category of abuse — beating, throwing, mutilation, drowning. (Source)

  • Historically, cats have also been associated with witchcraft in ways that have resulted in them being drowned and burned at the stake in a disturbing parallel to crimes against women of the past.
  • Unfortunately, cat abuse continues to be a contemporary problem in large part because a casual hatred and indifference towards cats have been a fixture of many societies for ages.
  • Many people don’t like cats.
  • Their reasoning is often because a cat maybe hissed or scratched at them when they were trying to pet them.
  • Or maybe they ran away when someone was trying to play with them.
  • They compare that to dogs that let you pet, play, touch easily
  • The thing is…cats are very independent and protect their bodies/space.
  • You don’t get to touch them or play with them just because they feel like it.
  • They have to consent.
  • They have to trust you and also be in the mood.
  • Some men don’t like that.
  • The amount of people who I’ve allowed in my space to meet my cats who have this preconceived notion that all cats are evil and going to attack them, just needed a lesson on how to understand the way cats show their consent.
  • No one has been attacked/injured/scratched
  • All this to say maybe there are some helpful ways we can teach children and those around us about consent and energy awareness through cats and animals so that they grow up to be sensitive to humans in the same way.
  • Cat-haters will take a negative experience with a cat and use it to frame the entire species as cold/cruel/mean.
  • Does that sound familiar?
  • Because if you are a woman that dates men, you have 100% heard that before.
  • There’s a really weird, visceral violence to some cat hate that parallels the talking-points we see from incel types about women, and that shit is a red flag I refuse to be associated with.
  • Most psychologists will tell you the Thurston County Cat Killer — or anyone murdering and mutilating cats — is most likely a sociopath, or scientifically speaking, suffering from Antisocial Personality Disorder.
  • Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental disorder in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.
  • People with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) can be witty, charming, and fun to be around — but they can also lie and exploit others.
  • What about the – “I like dogs but hate cats”… 
  • Dog people simply don’t like cats because cats don’t need them!
  • Cats can bathe themselves, go outside unattended, and even bury their own poop, and dog lovers hate on them because these creatures don’t feed into their unrelenting God complexes.
  • Can you say self-obsessed much!?

Basically, don’t date men who hate cats

1.) Acceptance and understanding.

Cats do a lot of really weird stuff that sometimes gets under a persons skin.

In that same note people do a lot of weird stuff that will get under your skin.

2.) very temperamental.

If you raise your voice too much they bush up and act like you are trying to harm them (in comparison to a dog who cowers in guilt.)

I can tell you while I do get defensive (like a cat), I certainly don’t cower.

3.) They are clingy on their own terms.

Want to be pet just the right amount.

Left alone just the right amount.

They want to cuddle but only when they want to not only when your ready.

4.) They want your full attention.

My cat has literally tried to knock my phone out of my hands.

Why? Because me only petting him wasn’t enough.

He wanted me engaged.

When knocking it down didn’t work. Simba the lion king, just stuck his big fat head straight in front of the screen.

5.) you have to earn their forgiveness.

Step on their tail once and they follow you room to room sitting with their back to you waiting for you to apologize.

6.) super nosy.

Creeps around corners watches me, comes running every time I move to a different room or make a different sound.

  • Much like a woman is going to want to know what you are doing in the life are trying to share and build.
  • So if you don’t like cats because they are clingy but also picky about their time, they have expectations on how to be treated, they don’t care if you like everything they do, they want your time and attention, they have their own habits and personality outside your control, and you don’t like someone invading your personal space, then yeah,
  • you probably aren’t going to be very good with women.
  • Or relationships in general.
  • So there you go besties, your guide to avoiding misogynists based on their hatred of the wee kitty.
  • If he can’t be bothered learning to read a cat’s behaviour, then he won’t bother learning yours.
  • If he hates cats AND love dogs, just likes obedience and doesn’t have a single critical thought behind those pretty eyes.
  • He won’t bring you JOY – DISCARD him xoxo.

“I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul.”

Jean Cocteau

“I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed.

These things, to me, are expressions of love.”

James Herriot

“I love my cats more than I love most people.

Probably more than is healthy.”

Amy Lee

“Every cat is my best friend.”

“All you need is love and a cat.”

“What greater gift than the love of a cat?”

Unknown

“GET TO KNOW YOU”

From the amazing Teal Swan

TEAL SWAN’s  mission is the transformation of human suffering to an empowered and authentic life.

She is the creator of the popular “Ask Teal” YouTube series, author of six internationally published books, and the artist of hundreds of frequency paintings.

In conjunction with her vision of creating positive world change, Teal Swan founded HEADWAY FOUNDATION, a non-profit company that enables ideas, goals, and ventures that are aimed at positive world change.

Teal Swan’s deepest intention is to set people free. Her mission is to make people aware and conscious so that with that awareness, they can begin to heal and live deeply meaningful, integrated, and empowered lives.

She travels the world teaching people the truth of the universe, helping people to see the truth of themselves, and teaching them how to transform their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual pain.

Consider it a ‘get to know you’ game.  

To play this game, you have someone answer three questions:

  1.  Their favourite Colour and three deep reasons why.
  2. Their favourite Animal and three deep reasons why.
  3. Their favourite Form or Body of Water and three deep reasons why. (A form of water is something like snow or ice or rain where as a body of water could be something like the Pacific Ocean or a birdbath or a Jacuzzi or a waterfall.)      
  • When they are answering these questions, try to get them to be as deep and thoughtful as possible.  
  • For example, “I like blue because it is the colour of the ocean” is not a deep answer. 
  •  If they give you that answer, you have to dig deeper by asking something like “what does the ocean mean to you?”  
  • An answer like, “blue is infinite” is an example of a deep answer.
  • Have them do this with each question.  
  • But the secret is that every answer they give is really about something else.  
  • Their favourite animal is the truth about what they want in an ideal life partner.  And their favourite form or body of water is the truth about their view of their own sexuality and their attitude towards sex and some might even argue, towards life itself.   
  • While you are watching them answer, you are not only taking note of what they say, but also how they say it.  All of what they do tells you something.  
  • For example, if they really struggle with this exercise, it is safe to say that you are talking to a person who is not very introspective. 
  •  If someone struggles to come up with a favourite colour, they may struggle with knowing who they are or they may hate the feeling of being ‘tied down’ to being one way or another.          
  • Obviously, this exercise is designed to get people to expose aspects of themselves that they may not consciously be aware of about themselves.  
  • I have to tell you how the game is played for the sake of the article, but you get the purest answers when people have no idea what game they are actually playing with you. 
  •  If they do know, you run the risk of them altering their answers so as to give you answers that they want to give you instead of the ‘real’ answers coming deep from their subconscious mind. 
  •  So if you’re playing this game for the first time, forget the game you are playing and forget yourself and literally think only about the colour or animal or form/body of water and why you like that thing.
  • You may think this game is just a ‘fun little game’, but I actually believe in this subconscious work so much that I have ended dates based on this game.  
  • So go ahead and try this game out on the people that you know and on the people that you meet.  
  • It’s super fun. (Thank you Teal)

Disclaimer: First, I want to say that there aren’t any scientific studies on the subject (or none that I’ve found). So this is based on what I’ve read and borrowed from other people’s experiences, what I’ve experienced personally and what I know about cat hater’s in general.

Here’s why none of this matters

  • I know why you’re curious about this. I know… because it’s exactly why I was curious.
  • You want to know whether the person you loved is truly a narcissist or a sociopath or an evil human.
  • If they love animals, they can love you, right?
  • Listen.
  • Most of us aren’t qualified to diagnose another person.
  • And what looks like love may actually be something else entirely.
  • Or it may be love-like because the person views the pet as an extension of self.
  • But if you’re here, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this person was emotionally abusive to you.
  • And really, that’s all you need to know. Because that’s not love.
  • Whether or not the person is capable of loving another is irrelevant.

Big love and pussy cat cuddles, Xo

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