In 1860, after 21 years of marriage and six children, Elizabeth Packard’s life shattered in an instant.
Her husband had her locked away in an asylum.
A book about her “The Woman They Could Not Silence” is a harrowing read. She was a tremendously strong and resilient woman who pushed through changes in the law to protect women. I heartedly recommend Moore’s book so you can read and understand the complete significance of Elizabeth Packard’s trauma and achievements.
Of all the women I have researched, Elizabeth’s story was almost surreal. It was nearly incomprehensible that a man in America could have that much legal power over his wife.
This world needs a whole bunch of Elizabeth Packard’s, right now.
It was not for violence. Not for instability. But for daring to disagree. She questioned his rigid Calvinist faith — and in Illinois at the time, a husband needed no proof, no trial, not even his wife’s consent to declare her insane.
Inside, Elizabeth uncovered a grim truth: many women confined beside her were not “mad” at all.
They were wives who resisted, daughters who disobeyed, women who dared to speak. Where others broke, Elizabeth sharpened her pen. She observed. She wrote. She waited.
After three long years, she stood in court and defended her right to think for herself — and won.
But freedom was only the beginning. She exposed the asylum system in her books, fought lawmakers face to face, and forced reforms that curbed the power of men to silence women under the guise of madness.
Elizabeth Packard refused silence. Her defiance nearly cost her everything — yet it secured protections for generations of women to come.
Women couldn’t own real estate in their own name in the U.S. until 1839, and then only in the state of Mississippi. It’s no wonder that even in the 1960s an unmarried woman would find it almost impossible to get a credit card. Even into the 1970s, the card would only be issued in the husband’s name.
The Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974 fixed this. The very shameful one Women were required to be virgins until marriage or else. Unmarried daughters who were sexually active could be sold into slavery by their fathers in ancient Athens. Meanwhile, in Samoa, part of the wedding ceremony involved manually rupturing a bride’s hymen in front of the village to prove her purity. Theatrical stage Women were not allowed to appear on the theatrical stage until 1660. Although Shakespeare wrote many of the best female roles in the history of the theatre, it was illegal for women to perform them. Instead, the roles were given to prepubescent males to portray, until many years after Shakespeare’s death in 1616.
Kidnapping brides continues as a way to get married. In the 1800s, stealing women for wives was widespread in Ireland – and existed until the 1940s in China. Shockingly enough, it went on until 1959 in Japan.
How much we Women have had to struggle throughout History. And to know that without us, there would be no man.
Shame on each and every man who has been cruel to a Woman.
This article is not about dividing people into groups and contrasting their suffering.
Men tend to keep so much bottled up inside. This includes all the traumas and heart-breaking moments. Eventually there has to be a release. And too often that is in an explosive way.
— Ron Blake, Social Justice Activist, Public Speaker
“Fragile masculinity,” a term referring to the unrealistic cultural standards placed on men, exists because many men feel they have to overcompensate or act in a certain way to meet these traditional standards, but we are all human. As human beings, regardless of gender, we have a combination of masculine and feminine traits.
While feminism has pushed the world to redefine and reconsider the role of girls and women, it has also raised questions about boys and men, and what their role is in society.
Rather than defining boys or men as “good” or “bad,” or “tough” or “weak,” it’s important to recognize that men, like women, have many facets that extend far beyond the traditional expectations of their gender.
Toxic masculinity is something that still needs to be addressed, and the only way to help men learn that emotions don’t devalue them or make them weak is by instilling that mindset within them from a young age. The dangers of toxic masculinity are clear, and as a society, it’s important to remember that everyone is human and finding healthy ways to process emotions is important for all of us, especially men. Whatever language we use, we need ways to name the influential social norms associated with manhood, critique the harmful attitudes and behaviours some men adopt, and foster healthier lives for men and boys.
Also, if you’re struggling with the mental health effects of toxic masculinity or you need someone to express your emotions to, there is no shame in reaching out for help from a mental health professional.
I am grateful and in awe of all the women who devoted their lives to making our world a better place for everyone.
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