Simple: when you feel good about it. The end. That’s my rule. It really is that simple.
With some who are less talkative and revealing about themselves, it can take several messages and texts; others who are better communicators get to the meet-and-greet quicker. One to two weeks of messaging and a real phone call before meeting appears to work for many.
Not before. No exceptions.
Here’s why: my safety, my rules. I will MIP (meet in person) when:
I’m convinced that the dude isn’t just looking for a quick hook-up; when I’m convinced he has a relatively stable life and job; when he’s demonstrated that he can hold his own in conversation – this is big for me; his profile and what he says in conversation “gel” with no weird contradictions; and most importantly, when I feel convinced that I will enjoy the date and being in his company.
His time may be valuable, but so is mine, and so is yours.
Beware of dudes that are pushy.
This is a big red flag that often gets ignored in online dating.
Narcissists love bomb.
Hook-up guys use bait, and they’re good fishermen!
Gentlemen don’t push; gentlemen respect boundaries – so know yours and stick to it.
It’s not just about date rape. It’s about stalkers. It’s about avoiding those who bring trouble. Heartache. Drama. One thing that unhealthy dudes have in common: they are aggressive.
They pressure and manipulate, sometimes with syrupy charm and flattery.
They make getting with you their end goal; something a lot of women find flattering and they are counting on that. Don’t just read the words on a profile or messaging – you don’t see many profiles that say I just want my balls licked – there are many bottom dwellers who haven’t grown balls that will lie to get what they want. Most profiles say I am an old school gentleman, I like to treat people like I want to be treated. We have all come across losers who are so selfish.
Don’t fall for it. Don’t forget your boundaries.
Nice guys, on the other hand, won’t high-pressure you into meeting the second you respond to their online message. They want to get to know the real you. They are interested, curious, and ask questions. They listen. Nice guys are trying to avoid unhealthy types too, so they are making an effort to screen you as well. Gentlemen with genuine interest in you will continue to call and engage with some conversational depth for awhile.
And they respect boundaries.
Here’s why: they want you to be comfortable, to feel safe, and to enjoy their company.
When do you meet in person? When you feel good about it.
Date #1 is for the truly intriguing minds and hearts.
Start as buddies, end as soulmates – it’s all about being genuine and sharing pure bliss.
Take your time before sharing your world.
Actions speak louder than words – wait for the proof!
Stay true to kindness and compassion. If he can’t handle it, he’s not worth your time. Your worth is non-negotiable! Remember, how someone treats you reflects them, not you. Good eggs respect themselves first, always.
Toxic vibes? Keep your cool and exit gracefully. Stay strong and don’t sweat the small stuff!
Some men can be abusive. Of course some women can be too. They don’t want to love you properly, but they don’t want to let you go either.
THE NARCISSIST
is not interested about you as a person.
they are only interested in what they are getting from you.
Embrace the zen of letting go! Focus on what you can sway, not what’s out of your reach – that’s the secret sauce of problem-solving. No puppet-mastery over others allowed here. The future’s a wild ride, so buckle up!
Feel those emotions without turning into an emotional rollercoaster. Acknowledge suffering but don’t let it crash on your couch.
Remember, you own your emotions, not the other way around.
Love should bloom from your fabulous self. We vibe together but don’t hitch our joy wagons to each other. Remind yourself, “Who am I?” and be your own happy place. When you see yourself, radiate that confident glow!
Let’s coin it “connection” instead of “detachment” – it’s love without a leash, a bond minus the handcuffs, because you know you belong to you alone. They don’t have to be yours for you to love them.
Unleash the hero within you, equipped with the mighty power of self-control.
“I’ll either score what I want or something even grander is in store for me, penned by the universe’s top scribe.”
Love springs from within. As grown-ups, no one holds the key to our emotions. We forge love within our own minds and hearts.
Quit the overthinking – yep, even from a former overthinker.
The magic wand here is self-mastery. You command your vibe, not if he’ll hit you up today.
“I am my sanctuary. I am my cheerleader. I’ve got my back.”
“There’s no road to happiness. Happiness is the journey itself.”
In the cosmic dance of life, the lows pave the way for the highs. Every twist and turn serves a purpose. Trust the unseen reasons, they’re there even if hidden. It might not be your win, but someone you hold dear.
“Was it hard?” I ask.
“Letting go?”
I nodded.
“Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.”
Be with someone who says…
“Let’s fix this.
I don’t want to lose you.”
The lesson? Life always unfolds for the best, whether you see it or not.
“Nothing’s good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”– Shakespeare
