During a seminar, a woman asked, “how do I know if I am with the right partner? The presenter then noticed a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind, replied the author.

HERE’S THE ANSWER

Every relationship has a cycle …In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet”. Picture the expression, it implies that you were just standing there, doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they came at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partners idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or partner might start asking, “Am I the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when relationships break down.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment.

Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV or social media, addictions or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship, it lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could and TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen careful to this):

The key to succeeding in a real deal Relationship is not finding the right person, it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.

You have to work on it day in day out.

It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly it demands WISDOM.

You have to know.

WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws OF the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.

If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Love is a choice, not a feeling. Feelings come and go, and if we choose to base our most important relationships on how we feel at any particular moment, we are in for a rough and rocky journey.

When you decide to work on communication, trust, intimacy, or emotional security, you’re choosing love.

Remember this always. God / The Universe – whatever way you rock, determines who walks into your life.

It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! 😍

You’re either liked or not; don’t waste your time trying to prove your worth to anyone.

If someone doesn’t appreciate you, they simply don’t deserve to be in your life.

Honour yourself and surround yourself with those who genuinely value you.

Remember, it’s not just about deserving the best – you must demand respect!

Extend kindness only to those who treat you with the respect you deserve!

Recap:

Falling in love can be an exhilarating, hormone-fuelled adventure filled with joy, but lasting love is a deliberate choice shaped by daily actions.

This doesn’t imply that love should feel like a gruelling race; rather, it requires a mindful commitment to actions that nurture and safeguard intimacy, trust, and affection.

Simple acts of appreciation and thoughtfulness significantly contribute to creating unbreakable connections.

What’s ruining relationships?

Unrealistic expectations & unresolved childhood trauma.

Never leave a true Relation for few Faults.

Nobody is perfect,

Nobody is correct.

At the end AFFECTION is always greater then Perfection!

Toxic individuals often use love bombing to manipulate others.

It’s essential to recognize their true nature and maintain your self-worth independently.

People with anxious attachment may seek emotionally unavailable partners in hopes of “fixing” them, leading to disappointment.

This attachment style is a learned coping mechanism from childhood, not a personal failure.

Empaths should remember they cannot bear others’ pain without harming themselves; doing so drains their time, energy, and emotional strength.

In successful relationships, both partners are Givers who support each other without expecting anything in return.

However, givers need support to avoid burnout, as studies show that gratitude enhances relationship satisfaction and closeness.

Ultimately, for a fulfilling relationship, partners should prioritize each other’s happiness.

Protect each others hearts.

Additionally, Givers tend to be more successful and fulfilled, promoting a lifestyle of kindness and service for greater happiness.

We must heal our past traumas, or we will bleed on those who didn’t cut us!

By reaching out in fear and anger – unhappy people will reach out in anger – if you desire to be happy with yourself and in love with YOU & if you want love in your life, you need to leave the frustration of the past.

How long are you going to react for?

Shortening the reaction!

The only person that is affecting is YOU.

Ask, “Is it loving towards me?”

I choose to feel good about myself. I am worth it. I deserve it. I am worthy of it. I am deserving of it. I am an amazing person. I intend…. I am all they will ever want. I am playful. I am sassy. I am sexy. I am loyal. I will have realistic expectations of a soulmate & not think of them as my saviour. I will take responsibility for my own growth. I want to heal anything in myself that keeps me from loving.

We do not need to FIND love.

We only need to believe that we are lovable. People that are happy with themselves won’t look at others and see their flaws, they’ll look at others and see a part of themselves that they connect with.

When you are in love and you’re connected and you are feeling those elevated emotions, you see life through the lenses of love.

Here’s the scoop: the key is desiring something so much that you start attracting it without even breaking a sweat.

Life becomes this mystical ride where you watch your dreams waltz right up to you because you were dead set on them.

Now, when faced with those trying to rain on your parade, you just flash a smile – no stress, pure zen vibes.

I’ve reached a serene state of mind, free from guilt or shame, where I simply get where they’re coming from and wish them well.

The ultimate peace?

Mastering the art of total forgiveness.

From the late Louise Hay: “People always ask me, like, ‘How do I create the person of my dreams that I want in my life?’ I always say, ‘Take out a piece of paper. Write down everything you want in that person and then become it!’

This is not positive thinking, this is CREATING!

Love is not a battlefield, on the contrary! ‘Love is gentle, easy, patient, kind, forgiving.’

People in relationships will compromise themselves out of obligation, necessity, obedience and in the end, they will forget who they are.

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