I hate to destroy your delusion of who you think you are, but the truth is, you are a narcissist!

I know you won’t agree, I know you won’t consider it, and I know that even if one day you do you’ll deny it anyway, because that’s what narcissists do.

I know you won’t acknowledge the damage you caused me, and I know you won’t tell anyone about what you did and you’ll be so convincing at it too, because that’s what narcissist do.

I know you’ll deflect by blaming everything on me, and I know that you’ll paint me as the villain so that you can be the victim because that’s exactly what narcissists do.

You cheated on the person who loved you and then blamed everyone else except for yourself; that’s what narcissists do.

You manipulated me, you were disrespectful, and you gaslit me by blaming me and making me think I was the problem and that I was a horrible person for reacting to your toxic behaviours and disrespect; that’s what narcissists do.

You came into my life and destroyed everything yet all you could do was sit there and watch, that’s what narcissists do.

Every single time I tried to bring up the things that you did to hurt me, you flipped the script so that you didn’t have to be held accountable, and you threw me under the bus; that’s what narcissists do.

You made me beg and plead for your time and attention when you so freely gave it to everyone else, you flirted with others right in front me because you needed an unlimited supply of attention and validation, and you made me feel completely alone after you isolated me by burning all the bridges that I had built with everyone, that’s what narcissists do.

Then you discarded me because I told you how I felt disrespected, manipulated, and hurt; and instead of being accountable you came up with a false narrative, manipulated the truth, and spread your heinous lies about me to avoid being accountable for what you know you did but that you don’t tell anyone about; that’s what narcissists do.

Without you I would never have lost my self-worth, my confidence, my mental health, my emotional well-being, my physical health, my finances, my career, my friends, or my ability to even be able to rebuild from the mess you left behind, and you know that’s the truth.

Without you there would have been no damage, and there would have been no problems.

You took away my peace, my happiness, and everything I was; because I was doing just fine before you came along.

You weren’t love, you weren’t light, and you were definitely not “pure” like you always used to call yourself, that’s a delusion, that’s you creating a grandiose narrative about yourself, and that’s what narcissists do.

Yet somehow you feel as though you’re the victim because you’re validated by the fact that you’ve manipulated and convinced those around you of your very one sided story; that too is what narcissists do.

I know I wasn’t always perfect, but I also now know that my reactions to your consistently toxic and disrespectful actions and behaviours were not the problem.

I know you’ll always deny what you did to me, and I know you know exactly what you did because no one can be that stupid.

So I’m okay with being the villain in your story because I’ve finally found the peace, happiness, and normality I was searching for while I was with you, except I found it after you, and that’s worth being the villain in your delusional story.

Things stopped going wrong after you left, the chaos stopped, and I made my way through the pain on my own; you were the curse in my life, and I am now free of it.

My life is better without you in it, because it was you who brought all of the pain and upheaval into my life, and you know it!

I sought truth after your discard to try and make sense of everything and to understand how you could end up being so cruel, so dismissive of what you know you did, and so unremorseful for it.

I know the things that you did that you don’t think I know about or that I’d ever find out about.

The evidence of who you really are and everything you tried to hide has come to light.

You really had me, you really did; you were so very good at what you did, because I didn’t even realise what you were until much later on as I was trying to heal from you; in fact it took others to tell me what you were because even then I was still choosing to believe the best in you.

But I know you’ll never acknowledge or admit what you did, I know you’ll never see things from my perspective because you’re not emotionally intelligent enough for that, I know you’ll keep denying what you know you did, and I know you’ll keep lying to those you say you love to cover up the things that you don’t want them to find out about; because that’s what narcissists do.

But please don’t think that because of time and distance that you’ve gotten away with what you did, because you haven’t.

Don’t think that the people you’re with now won’t find out everything about you, because they will. But not from me, I don’t want anything more to do with you; they’ll find out because you’ll do that all on your own just like you did to me.

I know now that you were always the common denominator and that you are not the kind, self-reflecting, and empathetic person that you paint yourself out to be.

You’re a monster who brings pain into people’s lives, who pretends to be someone else to lure them in, who takes advantage of them, who takes whatever you can without appreciating it, who uses people and then discards them once you’ve destroyed them and everything they were.

I just hope that the people you’re lying to now and the new person in your life that you’re lying to doesn’t end up as hurt and as damaged as you left me.

I’ll never understand your denials, I’ll never understand how you could negate and dismiss so easily the damage you know you’ve caused, and I’ll never understand your audacity of calling me the narcissist all to avoid being accountable for what you know you did but refuse to tell anyone about.

I’ll never understand your misguided beliefs, your narratives, nor your delusions.

You know who I really am, and you know you’ve lied!

But what I know is that the evidence is clear.

I know beyond any doubt who and what you really are; and you are a narcissist.

If you have any capacity to take anything at all from this, I simply ask you to just please don’t hurt anyone else or destroy their lives like what you did to me.

And even if by some miracle you one day decide that you want to make amends for what you did, please know that I don’t want anything more to do with you.

I know who you are, you were my narcissist, a nasty and manipulative piece of work, and I know that you’ll never change.

I am just grateful that I am now free from the very unsafe and dangerous person that you showed me you are!

~ Mark Smith
The Super Powered Mind

LETTING GO IS THE DEFINITION OF LOVE

The opposite of depression is expression.

Fly free like a butterfly.

We have a choice to not respond to life as a victim.

When we are angry you give your power away.

Emotions are energy in motion.

People don’t come to you, they are sent to you.

The most obnoxious person is your teacher.

With time you will see it’s always the right ones who never leave. How it is always the right one’s who stand by your side, when you need them the most.

Those who make the effort who want the relationship to grow to flourish into something beautiful. With time you will see and realize this, and you will appreciate the lessons learned.

We’re all the stars of our own blockbuster life stories, with epic highs, dramatic lows, and a colourful cast of characters—think allies, lovers, mentors, family, and more! The tales we spin for ourselves can be very powerful. They can either pave our path to joy or trap us in a dungeon of blame and doubt.

What we don’t realise about seeing ourselves as the VICTIM is that in doing so we assign the role of VILLAIN to others – an assignment against which any human will always need to DEFEND.

On life’s winding road, like it or not, we encounter peeps who impact us—some sprinkle sunshine, others toss a few clouds. When stormy characters blow our way, we’re quick to label them Villains, spinning them into our personal melodramas. We paint them as the evil masterminds behind our setbacks, feeling all righteous and indignant, convinced they’re plotting against us.

But wait! Here’s the twist: these so-called Villains aren’t plotting our downfall. They’re just living their lives, following their own scripts. The truth was that these people may not be bad people, they just had different agendas than I did and were following them. That had nothing to do with me, yet I was using the story I’d created to make them into Villains. I realized I’d conjured up tales of betrayal, casting people as Villains to play the Victim myself. Oops.

So, I made a list of my “Villains” and gave those stories a fresh look. 

I asked myself: What’s their side? What might be driving them? The toughest question was, what do I gain from seeing them as Villains?

Turns out, playing the Victim came with perks—complaining privileges, excuses galore, a dash of righteousness, and buckets of sympathy. 

But at what cost? I’d handed over my power, trading my protagonist role for a powerless victim card.